Being as it’s Throwback Thursday, I figured there this was a perfect opportunity to bring up a short story. So sit down, grab your coffee, and let’s listen to story time with warrenisweird ! I remember when I first watched the Rob Zombie‘s House Of 1000 Corpses with Steph [granted, this was awhile ago] and thinking that Captain Spaulding was the fucking coolest villain I had seen in a long time – even if he is a clown.. he was creepy, funny, and flat out manic! Everything you could want in a villain; he just had to be a clown!
this, of course, had me questioning myself: “if I have coulrophobia, why is it that sometimes [and very rarely] do I actually like the clown-killer in the film?” Which is the idea behind this post: I’m going to share my TOP FIVE clowns that I actually like in film, even if they are fucking creepy. [I won’t be including Captain Spaulding in the list, since I technically already mentioned him..] Please be warned, if like me – you have coulrophobia, this could be considered a ‘trigger’. it’s bad enough I’m doing this to myself. [with my luck, I’m going to find other clowns while finding pictures..damn] Oh, and spoilers will be abroad.. because it’d be asinine not to warn about the spoilers in the next few pictures. If you think you can stomach clowns in scary situations, please read ahead.
While they are fucking terrifying, I find the klowns from Killer Klowns From Outer Space not nearly as bad as they seem: I mean yeah, they’re certainly weird looking, and they are killer, but they’re more comedic [as is the film] than anything..thankfully. Speaking of, I need to find this film on DVD.
I’ll admit, I really didn’t like the ‘zombie-clown’ from Zombieland at first. If there’s any bad combination, it’s this one. but after a couple viewings, I came to the realization that it isn’t that bad. Sure, he’s covered in blood, and he’s grinning like no tomorrow, but my fear seems to stem from the excessive make-up.. at most, this guy is covered in blood more than anything, which makes him alright..
Drive Thru is a ‘hella’ weird film. It’s about a clown, who was a mascot at a local restaurant called: “Hella Burger” before being killed by a bunch of adults. Naturally, Horny The Clown [I wish I was making up that name] takes it upon himself to go all Freddy Krueger on his murderer’s kids, and hunts them down one by one.
Feel free to call this a cop out, but as far as I’m concerned – Billy from the SAW franchise totally counts as a clown in my book. Sure, he’s not the killer in the film [but, if you wanted to delve deeper: technically, neither is Jigsaw..] but he’s involved in the deaths of the victims. Billy probably stands as my favorite on this list, hands down. as proven by the fact that I own this in it’s original box and everything!
It seems that when I search the internet for clowns [which I plan on never doing again..but probably will end up for another post in the future] The Laugh [as seen above] from the film Amusement seems to be on everyone‘s ‘most terrifying clowns’ list[s]. Yet, someone like me, doesn’t seem to see the creepy-factor.. maybe it’s how boring the film was that makes him less scary to me. The only Laugh I’m going to have is watching this film with it’s lame story, acting, and other garbage.
Somehow or another, I managed to get through looking at pictures of clowns for this post, It wasn’t simple finding clowns that aren’t scary, but amazingly enough I found five I can stand, [and a billion that I can’t stand]
So now I turn to you: Do you find yourself with Coulrophobia? [fear of clowns] If it isn’t clowns, what are you afraid of? [if anything specific] Let me know in a comment or two, or on Facebook! Join me for my next post!
THANKS FOR READING.