I am the WALRUS — a review about TUSK


After putting it off for the longest time — I finally got the chance to see Kevin Smith‘s newest horror: TUSK. the film wasn’t at all what I expected; which can be considered a good [and a bad] thing. Please be aware, this review is going to have major spoilers: including, but not limited to, huge plot points.

I didn’t know very much going into the film other than what the trailer had told us: Justin Long stars [so does his fucking wicked ‘stache] as a podcaster named Wallace [Wallace? — Walrus? Oh I get it!] who interviews strange and unique people for his radio show aptly called the “Not-See Party”. He heads to Canada to interview a kid who got YouTube famous for chopping his leg off with a sword on camera by accident; he is known as “The Kill Bill kid” [which I assume is a rip-off of that “Afro Ninja” kid] when Wallace gets to Canada, he learns that, as it turns out, Kill Bill Kid killed himself with his sword due to his “fame”..leaving Wallace with no one to interview, and being stuck in Canada.


how I felt for the entirety of the second half of Tusk.

Flash forward a fuck-ton to where the trailer sets us; Howard Howe‘s home — Howe is the man obsessed with walruses as one saved his life during his days at sea. During the beginning of the interview, Wallace is being told about Howe named him “Mr. Tusk”, whom he regarded as his savior. Especially because Howe claims he had to eat Mr. Tusk to survive. That’s where the film starts to get strange..

His impending obsession leads him to want to relive those days with his “hero”, and the only way to do is to become a walrus. [“who the hell would want to be human?!] after a bunch of cutting with a scalp, [which is shown off screen] sewing, and the like: Wallace the Walrus is complete..and fuck does he look gross; if you want check him out yourself, I’ve posted a [terrible quality] photo below! [major spoiler alert]


that’s..fucking gross, man.

That’s about as far as I’m going to go with this review as there’s also a boring side story about how Wallace‘s best friend/partner in podcasting is sleeping with Wallace‘s girlfriend, and a Quebec investigator [played by a hilarious Johnny Depp!] comes into play to help them find Howard Howe‘s house; but the real excitement is watching Wallace as a Walrus and his struggle to keep his human dignity — whatever is left of it that is.. [there’s even a fight scene between Wallace and Howe!]

The film is extremely difficult to recommend since it’s a cross between Canada and The Human Centipede: except not. Although it felt like it borrowed elements from the film, it is it’s own thing just the same. It claims to be a comedy-horror, but it isn’t that overly comedic. [it is at some points but..] if you’re a fan of Kevin Smith, I’d say go for it, just know that this isn’t Clerks.. This — is Tusk.




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