film study: THE LOVED ONES is The PERFECT Valentine’s Movie!


High school was[/is] a strange time wasn’t it? I know my time in school was “different” : what with all those teachers, my weird friends and awkward teenage romance. especially that awkward teenage romance.. Have you ever had a crush on someone, who didn’t like you back? That’s where The Loved Ones story begins.

The movie opens on a bright and sunny day, where one grade 12 student’s happy life soon changes.. While attempting to avoid what appears to be a blood soaked person walking in the middle of the road, Brent swerves his car around a tree, which ultimately ends with the accident killing his father. Unfortunately, Brent is constantly confronted by the guilt of his father’s death [and his mother’s emotional collapse] after the accident, so Brent escapes life with drugs and loud metal music to block out the pain and guilt he feels. However, he has one thing holding him to Earth; his girlfriend Holly – a grounded, caring, and loving individual with good looks; a perfect dream date for his high school prom…and then there’s a ‘special’ girl, known as Lola. Lola is quiet and awkward, but seems to actually have feelings for Brent: a lot of feelings. So many in fact, that she asks Brent if she’d go to the prom with her; which he politely turns down. [seeing as he’d be going with Holly] and that – that’s where it everything goes terribly wrong.

As it turns out, Lola is fucking crazy – making Brent the ‘Prom King’ at her own version of the prom, which includes: [but not limited to] a mirrored disco ball, pink satin, glitter, syringes, nails, and even power drills! The worst part is knowing that her father is involved with her torturous ways.. even helping her! Unfortunately, Lola thinks she’s doing something perfectly fine, and you learn that this isn’t the first time she done this – remember when I mentioned the blood soaked individual at the beginning? As it turns out, he was one of Lola‘s [many] “LOVED ONES”. The movie can feel like a slow burner at times, which isn’t a bad thing, but holy crap does it pay off nearing the end! With enough blood/gore to satisfy most horror fans, the quality of this film is insane!

the real problem is how attractive Lola is..

In the end though, I titled The Loved Ones as the perfect Valentine’s Day movie – and this is why: It’s not. In truth, it’s extreme, violent, and definitely a beautifully crafted film. The closest thing that could be considered “loving” about this movie is Lola‘s dedication to Brent and the other men she’s tortured, and ultimately – killed. It’s a wonder that Brent survived at the end, with obvious permanent memories of what he just went through: and Lola, who tries so damn hard to catch up to Brent when he makes his escape..when this happens. [spoilers, obviously]

So be sure to check out The Loved Ones this Valentine’s Day; with it’s slow burning story – which as I said, is not a bad thing – and an attractive [but psychotic] Lola, what could possibly go wrong? Would you go to Prom with her? I mean, if it meant your life..

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, am I right?


[PS: just try to get the song “Am I Not Pretty Enough?” out of your head – I dare you..]

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