WEIRDO’WEEN #13: HATCHET [2006]

weirdoween2015We’ve all heard of local legends/ghost stories surrounding our town. Whether it’s Bloody Mary or the Boogyman, there’s always one that stands out amongst the rest. It doesn’t matter what the story is behind the legend, one fact remains the same: the “spirit” of the legend will never die, unless they’re put to rest. Enter our crew of tourists. They decide to go on a boat ride on the haunted waters of the Louisiana bayous where they learn the terrifying tale of local legend Victor Crowley. According to the stories, Victor is a horribly disfigured man who was tragically and accidentally killed with a hatchet by the hands of his own father. But when their boat sinks and the ghost story turns out to be a real thing, the group tries desperately to escape the swamp with their lives…and all of their pieces. That’s right everyone, today we’re talking about Adam Green‘s classic 80s throwback horror slasher: Hatchet. What makes this review so special, is that I’m going to be reviewing it’s sequels: Hatchet II and Hatchet III tomorrow, and Thursday respectively! But today; we’re starting at the very beginning of this trilogy: the way it was meant to be.

weirdo'ween-#13Hatchet begins in Louisiana during Mardi Gras with two friends walking around the streets, with another part of the opening already including a cameo from Robert Englund and Tony Todd[though Englund gets killed off in the first 10 minutes.. talk about a risky move!] These two guys are down for spring break and after deciding they’ve had enough of Mardi Gras, decide the next course of action is to take a haunted swamp ride; headed by Reverend Zombie. This is where we meet the core group of people we will be following for the rest of the film.

As they travel out farther out into the far reaches of the swamp, their guide starts talking about the local legend of a man known as Victor Crowley. Though no one believes him, [at first] the guide starts looking, and acting, like he has absolutely no idea what he is doing.. Which he later admits to, saying it was a way to make a few extra bucks. The boat eventually ends up sinking in the middle of the swamp and the boarders of the boat learn that they are officially in Victor Crowley‘s territory. With no help coming anytime soon, and little [to no] cell phone service, it looks like the only way off the island they landed on is to take the path behind the old Crowley home; where his spirit is rumored to be still living after his father accidentally hit him in the face with a hatchet..

a face only a father could love.

Hatchet is what some would call a blood soaked love letter to the campy horror-slasher films of the ’80s. It pays homage to films like Friday The 13th and Sleepaway Camp, all while catering to the fans who love a good old-fashioned gore fest, with the occasional set of boobs of course. When I first bought this movie, I hadn’t even seen it yet; I bought it blindly because I had heard so many good things! Of course, I was not disappointed. The important thing about the movie is to not take it seriously, not even 10 minutes in, and you can tell that it was definitely not meant to be. It’s a very campy film, but that’s because it’s supposed to be that way. There are also plenty of hilarious in jokes that will get you laughing, further proving the not so serious tone. The film’s set-up is repetitive, the dialogue is corny, and the special effects [while over the top] are great. That’s what makes it fun to watch: it’s fun. You can’t go into this movie expecting some great masterpiece or even a really good horror movie; You’re supposed to go into this movie expecting a campy gore-fest that you can laugh at.. because of how ridiculous it is! and yes – this is a good thing!

From start to finish – all 84 minutes of Hatchet is pure slasher goodness. Rather than being just a stale homage to the franchise films that dominated his childhood, you can tell that Adam Green has actually created an character all his own, that pays loving tribute, rather than references to other horror icons. While Victor Crowley might never reach the heights of Freddy, Jason or Michael, he’s certainly the stuff fan-favorites are made of: a unique monster with an easy to remember name, with some unique kills under his belt! You just can’t go wrong with a horror movie made by a horror movie fan with outrageous effects. It’s the perfect movie to put on during a Friday night, and it’s certainly one of the finest modern slashers to come along in a recent history.

The problem is, a lot of people didn’t like Hatchet.. but forget them! If you like slashers, and over the top gore; you’ll have a blast with this movie. It has a bit of everything for everyone: boobs, gore, funny moments, and cameos galore! Please.. check out Hatchet, you’ll have a great time, and you won’t regret it!

and another thing! If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow morning when I talk about weirdo’ween #14 – which, as discussed above, will be Hatchet II! – STAY TUNED!

open wide! [a small example of the over-the-top gore in HATCHET]

THANKS FOR READING.

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