Christmas

WARRENISWEIRD’S TOP 07 SCARIEST SANTA CLAUS’ IN HORROR

top07santashorror

Christmas, the holiday of cheer, joy and over-commercialization. Family and friends share gifts and meals and enjoy each others company, and Pine trees spread with tinsel and Christmas lists from anxious and over excited children! But behind all of the gifts and shining stars, is a dark and sinister world where Christmas can be a terrifying holiday. During the colder months of the year, this holiday brings about sinister elves, a naughty list, and, most of all: a large man in a red suit climbing down your chimney and into your home! Oh yes, Whether you like it or not, St. Nick is a terrifying figure himself! With Christmas being less than a week away, I’m here to show you not one, but seven Santa Claus‘ that show that a seemingly cheerful holiday is right around the corner from a fearful one! Here are my picks for the scariest Santa Claus’ in horror movies in no particular order! Be warned – as expected, some spoilers may or may not be in each description!

ujqth5u

SAINT [2010]

In many horror films, the creepy Santas are not the “real Santa”, but rather a guy in a Santa suit. This more sinister Santa though, is the real deal. In Saint – a Norwegian horror film – follows the traditional Dutch and Belgian tradition of St. Nicholas [or Sinterklaas as he’s called]. On his own birthday, December 5th, Sinterklaas awakens from his yearly slumber and rides across rooftops on his white horse dropping presents down good children’s chimneys. However, as we see in this film, Sinterklaas is actually fairly sadistic as we see him kidnap [and terrorizes] children! Forget dropping presents, this Santa wants his revenge for his murder centuries ago, and he is willing to take every naughty child along with him.

[watch the trailer here!]

qk361cc

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ASYLUM [2012]

Killer Santas can be real demented, and American Horror Story decided to take the classic serial killer Santa and make him just that much worse. This Santa, played by Ian McShane takes a path of revenge for his poor treatment in the asylum, reclaiming his Santa costume to commit more terror in the name of Father Christmas. With a throat that sounds like it’s full of rocks, McShane feels like the be-all-end-all of evil Santas.

[watch the preview for the episode here!]

rywndbg

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT [1984]

You have to almost feel sorry for the guy! In Silent Night, Deadly Night, a young boy [Billy] watches his parents be murdered at the hands of a man in a Santa suit. He is then raised in a orphanage where he is at the constant abuse at the hands of Mother Superior. As an adult, Billy’s job as a video store clerk has him wear a Santa suit for Christmas holidays, and well, so much for his sanity. This teenage Santa takes the award for most-unlikely-to-don-a-Santa-suit in this horror gem filled with plenty of inventive kills. [“strangulation by Christmas lights”]

[watch the trailer here!]

uziyhqx

RARE EXPORTS [2010]

Here’s one you might not have heard of! Rare Exports is full of original, and deep mythology of giant, humanoid creatures buried deep in the Earth. These myths helped to inspire the image of Santa Claus. In this Finnish film, we see Santa as a monster, not a serial killer or a legend, but a legitimate movie monster. A group of archaeologists uncover something they call “the largest burial mound in the world” only to uncover supernatural beings that punish naughty children. The stakes only rise higher when a reindeer herder captures one of the beasts. Rare Exports is a difficult film to put into one genre since it has elements of horror, fantasy, coming-of-age, and dark comedy – all wrapped in one; but it is a special [and terrifying] film that you need to seek out if you haven’t already!

[watch the trailer here!]

zsorvdl

CHRISTMAS EVIL [1980]

Who doesn’t like Christmas? Christmas Evil is a film that is truly terrifying and is often considered the best holiday horror film next to John Carpenter’s Halloween. Christmas Evil offers a complicated psychopath for the sinister Santa. The film follows a young boy who is traumatized when he discovers that Santa is not real.. by catching Santa getting jolly with his Mother on Christmas Eve[tough break, kid!] Flash forward to when he is an adult, and that boy – now a toy-maker – becomes obsessed with both making toys that children will love and analyzing the way children think. Naturally, society is not kind to grown men who hang around small children, and he is met with stares and angry parents. As expected in these kinds of films, he snaps.

[watch the trailer here!]

qqctvs1

TALES FROM THE CRYPT: AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE [1989]

Arguably my favorite Santa on this list comes from an episode of one of my favortie shows: Tales From The Crypt! This episode gives us a woman who murders her husband, only to become the victim of an escaped mental patient dressed as Santa Claus. What makes this episode so great is the fun performance by Larry Drake as Santa. He plays such a gross and gritty Santa in the best way that I cannot stress how great this short is!

[watch the full episode here!]

toftxcj

A CHRISTMAS STORY [1983]

Okay, while technically this isn’t a horror film, but this movie is no laughing matter – Santa is still pretty damn scary! For many of us, one scene provides recurring nightmares and ruined mall trips forever – the Santa visit. What makes Ralphie’s Santa visit so terrifying is the reality that he will not get what he wants for Christmas, and even the big man in red will make sure you don’t have it! The bleached white beard and too red nose only make the imagery worse. Then his voice, as he bellows “Ho! Ho! Ho!” as he pushes Ralphie down the slide with his filthy boot just makes you scared! Take note people, Santa doesn’t have to hurt you to be scary!

[watch the trailer here!]


As obvious as it may come across as saying, not all Santas are nice. Whether you dig them up from a mound of dirt, or Santa is out for revenge, each one has their motive to stalk and go after kids.. which Santa was Your favorite? [or least favorite] Did he make Your list? Let me know in a comment or two! Be sure to also follow me over on my Facebook page! [we’re at over 170+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. So go follow over there too! Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

I’ve also been writing way more reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch  – with each review [usually] posted the very next day after viewing! Are you interested yet? Check me out over there and click that “follow” button! I’m just bound to follow you back because I like reading other people’s thoughts on film, as well as writing reviews myself!

vkchjha

THANKS FOR READING.

Advertisements

warrenisweird’s top 05 winter-themed horror movies

top05winter

Walking home from work this morning, I quickly realized how cold it’s getting outside. Being in Canada, I have no doubt in my mind that sooner than later; there’s going to be snow on the ground – and I’m not excited for it. I’m not a fan of feeling like an ice cube: so seeing frost on the ground, and seeing people all bundled up, makes me feel like I’m halfway to frozen. That being said, it also caught my attention that there’s actually a few horror movies that take place in the winter, or at the very least; during Christmas. Since it’s that time of year, I figured this is the best time to talk about some of my personal favorite winter horror movies. Just remember: if these movies don’t give you the chills, the weather outside will

frozenb

No, I don’t mean that film..Frozen is a film by a Director I hold most dear: Adam Green, and Frozen is arguably one of his best. It’s eerie, it’s atmospheric, and in case you couldn’t tell: it mostly all takes place on a ski lift. The best part is that it mainly focuses on only three people – but that’s enough to give you fright from high above, especially when the ski lift shuts down for the night…and you’re still aboard. [check out the trailer here]

rare_exports_teaser_poster_en

Rare Exports is a film I was late to seeing because of how ridiculously  difficult it’s been trying to find a way to watch it. It makes this list because it fits both bills: it takes place around Christmas and it’s in the winter – though being from Finland, it would be snowing.. Rare Exports takes us to the depths of The Korvatunturi mountains, where 486 meters in the ice we find the closest ever guarded secret of Christmas, Santa Claus. It’s a dark film that definitely has a different spin on the holiday season. [check out the trailer here]

kansi-thething

Arguably one of my favorite films ever, The Thing is a movie that shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s unparalleled in the way it presents fear in the snow. Even if it could be could technically be categorized as sci-fi as well, I feel like this movie is more horror. It follows a group of scientists in the Antarctic who are forced to face a alien that seems to assume the appearance of the people it kills.. [check out the trailer here]

30_days_of_night_poster

One part vampire story, full on horror. 30 Days Of Night is a film I watched on a whim when it first came out, only to be presently surprised at how much I enjoyed it. The only thing I knew about it, was that it was based on a comic and that there was vampires. Like The Thing above, the movie takes place in Antarctica, where for one month during the year; the sun doesn’t come out..naturally, this is perfect feeding time for vampires. It’s creepy, and shockingly more gory than expected! [check out the trailer here]

silent-night-deadly-night

Consider the following: you see your parents get murdered, and as a result you have to stay at an orphanage.. where you’re abused by the Mother Superior. Would this make you a killer? Cause this is exactly what happens to Billy in Silent Night, Deadly Night. [check out the trailer here]


So what have we learned today? That the cold isn’t the only thing that can be considered dangerous this time of the year? That, Santa does exist, he’s just Frozen in the mountains? I guess the real lesson learned here is that Christmas is just around the corner [ugh, I know..I’m not happy about it either – so much snow on the way!] but we have to think positive: family gatherings and free food! [okay, the family gatherings don’t sound as fun as they did in my head]

What’s your favorite Christmas horror movie? If it isn’t related to Christmas, what’s your favorite horror movie that takes place in the snow? Although one of my personal favorites, Let The Right One In didn’t make the list, it’s only because I’ve talked about it extensively on here. But seriously: let me know in a comment your favorite, and we can compare!

Also, If you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 125+ likes – only a few more and we’ll have reached over 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

maxresdefault1

[if you can tell me what this screenshot is from, you’ll win my love!]

THANKS FOR READING.

Trailer Thoughts: A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY [2015]

We’re going from classic Halloween [see my Frankenstein Friday Fun Fact] to..Christmas? Wait, hold on.. let me try that again… ahem.

One thing that I’m becoming more and more of a fan of, is holiday themed horror movies. Whether we’re talking ones that take place on Halloween or on St. Patrick’s Day, movies that have their story revolved around such a holiday are a guilty pleasure of mine. 2015 is quickly proving to have a wealth of holiday horror headed our way, with Michael Dougherty‘s Krampus, and now, Grant Harvey and Steven Hoban‘s very own A Christmas Horror Story! Like most cases in most holiday themed horror films, the last place you want to be alone on the Christmas Holidays is in a small town. In the upcoming film A Christmas Horror Story, the small town in question is none other than Bailey Downs. The film will follow five different [yet, interwoven] stories that take each take place on Christmas:starting with one which is told by a festive radio host, another follows a family who brings home more than just a Christmas tree, a student-made documentary becomes a living nightmare, a Christmas spirit terrorizes the naughty [and the nice!], and also: Santa Claus slaying evil Elves! If this sounds like something you’d be interested in watching, then I’ve got exciting news for you: the synopsis for the film has been released, and so has the trailer! Catch up and read the synopsis down below!

Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy, peace and goodwill. But for some folks in the small town of Bailey Downs, it turns into something much less festive. When Krampus – the anti-Santa who punishes the naughty children – is summoned by a young boy, everyone’s fight for survival begins..”

you can’t not say that Santa looks pretty bad ass in this screenshot!

Another awesome thing to note about this film [which I’m sure you’ll notice in the trailer] is that a certain famous actor appears: none other than William Shatner! I mean, if that doesn’t sell you on A Christmas Horror Story, I don’t know what will! A Christmas Horror Story is scheduled for theatrical release on October 2, 2015 and I haven’t been this excited for a film involving Christmas in a long time.. Be sure to check out the trailer for A Christmas Horror Story at the bottom of this paragraph, and let me know what you thought about the trailer for the film. Is it a film you’d consider watching? Or do you think it looks like B-Movie garbage that’s trying too hard to be a cult classic?

 If you found yourself to enjoy this article, please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 100+ likes – only 15 more and we’ll have reached 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!


I mean come on guys.. It’s William [freaking] Shatner!!

THANKS FOR READING.

film study: your NEW favorite Christmas film that you’ve NEVER heard of — Treevenge

With Christmas creeping in closer [and closer] everyday, I tried to find a film that had kept with the horror aspect, as well as keep the Holiday Spirit intact. With that, I present my [newest] favorite Christmas film: Treevenge. In this classic Holiday film, we meet foul-mouthed lumberjacks who come upon a hillside of trees, and proceed with cutting them down and bringing them to Christmas tree lots where families take their pick of the group, take it home, stick it in a tree-stand, and decorate it.. like most people do during the Christmas holiday, right? However, these “trees” are not like most trees, they’re sentient – and find themselves experiencing terror and fear during this;  so much, that we actually can hear their screams of pain when chopped and/or sawed on. The trees feel the emotion of separation from their family and friends, they fear the unknown, and most of all – the despair they feel during the strange and bizarre rituals of families at Christmas. But these trees have a plan: on Christmas morning, the trees will strike back. Every Man, woman and child [sometimes, even pets] may be in for a grisly end!

Treevenge is a short which clocks in at around 16 minutes from 2008, produced by Yer Dead Productions, who are more famously known for being the company behind the “Slumber Party Alien Abduction” segment from V/H/S/2 and even Hobo With A Shotgun! But before you jump at me and say this film sounds ridiculous, think about it for a minute: this is actuallyreally cool concept, with the trees being the primary “evil” rather than a typical human killer. The film is gruesome at best, and hilariously entertaining to watch.

treevenge-horror.jpg

The film is still playing at festivals around the globe, and chopping fans down the fans everywhere, even though the movie is over 5 years old! In fact, amongst the very stiff competition, Treevenge got an honorable mention at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival. [hey, somethings better than nothing at all, right?] Rue Morgue Magazine even awarded the creators with “best short horror film” back in 2009! But don’t let me tell you how good Treevenge is, let the film itself do the work. Because, as it turns out — the film in it’s entirety is on youtube, and because it’s the season of giving, I’m going to share this gem with each and every one of you. Just be careful when decorating your tree this year, because eventually, even trees have had enough, and one branch — just might snap when you least expect it..

THANKS FOR READING.