clowns

WARRENISWEIRD’s Top 05 SCARIEST “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” Episodes

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If you follow warrenisweird on Facebook, [which if you don’t, you definitely should] you probably saw this post referencing a TV show from my [very scarred] childhood: Are You Afraid Of The Dark? Along with shows like Tales From The Cryptkeeper and Goosebumps, this was a show that I used to watch almost religiously, even though it would give me indefinite nightmares after every episode. By sharing that one video clip on Facebook, I started to remember just how terrifying Are You Afraid Of The Dark? really was, especially for something that was marketed towards kids who were just getting into horror such as myself. I decided [against my better judgement] to delve back into the show and dig up past nightmares and make a list of my top 05 episodes [in no particular order] that I would argue are the scariest from my childhood, and to some degree, still are! As you can expect, spoilers will be involved with every submission below, so tread lightly if you are worried about finding out the “twist!”


Submitted For The Approval Of The Midnight Society, I call this story: WARRENISWEIRD’s TOP 05 SCARIEST “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” EPISODES


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“The Tale Of The Captured Souls” [Season 01]

Starting off with the “not so scary,” we have an episode from early in the series that follows Danielle and her family’s lakeside vacation that [almost] goes dead wrong! When Danielle and her family arrive for their holidays, they meet a strange man by the name of Peter: the abnormal [and young] inn keeper. The inn itself is also strange, covered with mirrors that shock whoever touches them because of, as Peter says, “old wiring.” [Because everyone knows that mirrors are usually wired, right?] During their stay, Danielle and her family begin to feel drained, and notice more than a couple new grey hairs growing on their heads. Eventually, we learn that the [wired] mirrors from before are actually part of a more elaborate plan to drain the inn’s guests of their souls, which will effectively keep Peter forever young. What doesn’t help is when Danielle stumbles upon Peter’s “graveyard” – a place where he keeps a collection of all the souls he’s stolen over the years. After Danielle discovers that Peter is behind everything after discovering his “soul-sucking lab.” Peter offers a truce: he will give Danielle the chance to join him in his quest for eternal youth. As expected, she instead destroys his bizarre science project; which ends with him becoming an old and ancient man, saving her parents from having their souls taken.


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“The Tale Of The Super Specs” [Season 01]

If you were a big enough fan of the series, you probably remember Sardo’s Magic Shop. It was a plot point of many of the “Tales” that revolved a “magic/mystical item.” While a lot of the items were unique – and sometimes terrifying – none of Sardo’s “tools” were as traumatizing as his “Super Specs.” That’s where this episode comes in. While wearing the Super Specs, Mary Beth is given the ability to see things that aren’t really there. These “things” can range from a tea kettle whistling on the stove to figures cloaked in black. Soon enough, she learns that these specs have been cursed with a “second sight,” which opens a window into an alternate dimension. After explaining the situation to Sardo, he agrees to help Mary Beth clear her home of these dark visions, but his lack of experience in magic [irony?] ends up causing a “cosmic imbalance” which grants the [dark] creatures full access to our world. What makes this episode so scary is that it ends with our hero’s demise, which if I’m honest, is a lot to take in for a kid.


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“The Tale Of The Ghastly Grinner” [Season 04]

If you have been a follower of warrenisweird for a while now – or you know me in real life – you are probably aware that I have an irrational fear of clowns. This particular Tale did not help that cause.. In the picture above, you are looking into the eyes of this entry’s villain, The Ghastly Grinner: an evil comic book character bent on making life for a young boy [Ethan] a living hell. Like most days in the early 1990s, it all started when our “hero” went to the opening of a new comic book store in town. [back when the days were easier] The store’s owners offered him a “one-of-a-kind” comic which featured the monstrosity above, who causes people to laugh uncontrollably and spit up blue goo.. [Gross! Why Nickelodeon?!] Before putting his new [and rare] collector’s item with the rest of his comic book memorabilia, Ethan accidentally spills a glass of water on it. Instead of cleaning the mess up like a normal human would, he decides to microwave the comic book.. because, of course he does. Bad news for Ethan though, because the radiation [somehow] brings the comic book villain to life! After The Ghastly Grinner starts freaking people out all over town – including a young Warren who cannot look away from the TV – Ethan decides [responsibly] to take matters into his own hands by creating a new comic book; in order to defeat The Grinner. Somehow though, he manages to get trapped inside the comic, thus bringing him face to face with the gut-busting villain.. Although this episode is more silly than anything, The Grinner himself scarred me like any – and every – clown before him. That reason alone earns it a spot on this list.


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“The Tale Of The Dead Man’s Float” [Season 05]

Oh yes, that episode. The one from what I shared on Facebook. [see beginning of post] This Tale centers around Zeke, a geeky teenager who yearns to get close to a girl by the name of Clorice, [wait! Is that a chlorine pun?!] the super-cute captain of the swim team. In exchange for helping with her chemistry homework, she decides to give him swimming lessons. [definitely a fair trade as far as I am concerned!] Naturally, Zeke is eager to impress her, he takes her to their school’s abandoned swimming pool [which, for plot reasons, is mysteriously still filled with water] to begin his “lessons.” But this specific pool has been hidden for a good reason: It was built on top of an old graveyard, and now the spirits are angrier than ever! That’s when we meet the zombie/skeleton hybrid above. Don’t worry though, because in the end, Zeke uses his super-chemistry skills/nerdiness to defeat the evil skel-zombie, he gets the girl, and even learns how to doggie paddle!


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“The Tale Of Laughing In The Dark” [Season 1]

ANOTHER CLOWN! And worst of all, this is the episode I remember the most! [it’s also only the second in the show’s history] This final Tale takes us back the Great Depression, when a scheming Zeebo The Clown decides to steal some cash from the carnival’s payroll. While on the run, he hides in the fun-house, which proved to be a mistake as he then accidentally burns it [and himself] to the ground with his cigar ash. Years later, the carnival rebuilds the fun-house, placing a dummy of Zeebo inside as a memorial to the clown who died inside [reminder, the guy robbed them! ..I don’t get that logic either] Flash forward to the 1990s,when a little punk of a kid named Josh decides to swipe the Zeebo dummy’s nose as a way to prove he isn’t afraid of his town’s local legend: the fun-house is haunted. But he should be. Because soon he is visited by the ghost of Zeebo, who begins terrorizing Josh at home, at school, and even making threatening phone calls. On a happier[?] note, The clown got his nose back at the end of the episode. However, a clown who laughs in the dark is no friend of mine!


Of course there are so many other episodes I could have covered in this list – 91 episodes total – that I probably forgot some of the more important ones! Which episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark? scared You the most? If you liked this post, let me know in the comments below! [In the future, I may just do a Goosebumps version of this list!] As always, if you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [we’re at over 180+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog.

Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! I’ve also been writing way more reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch  – with each review [usually] coming the very next day after viewing! Are you interested yet? Check me out over there and click that “follow” button! I’m just bound to follow you back because I like reading other people’s thoughts on film, as well as writing reviews myself!

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THANKS FOR READING.

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TRAILER THOUGHTS: THE REASON I [YOU] ARE AFRAID OF CLOWNS: CLOWNTERGEIST [2017]

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As I have said countless times in the past, I have coulrophobia – AKA a fear of clowns – and with the reboot of It coming out this year, it is safe to say that I am going to be terrified in the theater. Hell, these past 12 months have given us films like 31, Clowntown and Circus Of The Dead showing us that the genre of the clown[s] is definitely coming! Don’t get me wrong though, there actually have been clown themed movies that I actually enjoyed like Killer Klowns From Outer Space, and even the original TV movie of It, but this is because films like Killer Klowns are extremely cheesy, and have that “fun and quirky quality” to them. [Though, if I am being honest, “It” did scar me as a young child]

Enter Clowntergeist – and yes, that is the film’s actual title – 2017’s first horror film featuring a killer clown. More specifically, this is a horror movie about a clown that is possessed by a demon and stalks around a small town; leaving messages [dates and times] on balloons in order to tell his victims exactly the moment when he will kill them. Watching the trailer, Clowntergeist seems to be a mix of The Ring, It, and even a shade of Poltergeist! It looks, as far as  design, completely ridiculous and possibly terrible. But with the right friends, it also looks like it could be fun; being a film that is not meant to be taken overly seriously.

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[the villain of CLOWNTERGEIST]

Clowntergeist follows Emma, a college student who, like me, has a crippling fear of clowns. She is forced to come face to face with her worst fear when an evil spirit in the body of a clown is summoned and is terrorizing the town she calls home. One by one Emma and her friends receive a balloon with the exact time and date of when this clown will appear to kill them written on it. After receiving her balloon, Emma comes to realize that she has only two days left to live, and must fight against the clock to find a way to survive..and stop the Clowntergeist [who, according to IMDb, is named “Ribcage The Clown“] once and for all! Does this sound like something you would be interested in watching? While there may not be an official release date yet, you should still check out the trailer below!

Between the gore and the greasepaint, Clowntergeist looks like a terrible, yet fun horror film. I find myself genuinely curious to find out how Emma kills this haunted circus freak! Does this look like Your kind of film? Or are you, like me, afraid of clowns and will be watching through your fingers in the theater? Let me know your thoughts in a comment or two! Be sure to also follow me over on my Facebook page! [we’re at over 180+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. So go follow over there too! Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

I’ve also been writing way more reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch  – with each review [usually] posted the very next day after viewing! Are you interested yet? Check me out over there and click that “follow” button! I’m just bound to follow you back because I like reading other people’s thoughts on film, as well as writing reviews myself!

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[whoops! wrong killer klown!]

THANKS FOR READING.

PENNYWISE-IN-A-BOX? [“It” Wraps Filming]

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Well, it’s official: the book-to-film adaptation of Stephen King’s It has wrapped,and it’s safe to say that Andres Muschietti‘s impending remake is one of the most eagerly anticipated horror movies of 2017. Which, as terrified of clowns as I am, is understandable considering that it’s an adaptation of Stephen King‘s fan favorite 1986 novel of the same name. Need further evidence that this film might terrify you? Well pretty much everything that’s been released regarding 2017’s It has, rather helpfully, been terrifying. Which now includes this Jack In The Box toy to celebrate the end of its production that is set to sink into your brain and into your nightmares; just so it can haunt you for weeks. This weathered jack-in-the-box with Pennywise – as the clown – popped out shares the same design as the photograph that came out earlier this year. [The jack-in-the-box picture will be posted below!]

It opens upon with the murder of a child by the name of George Denbrough in the fall of 1988, who is killed inside the storm drain of a small town. Close to a year later, in the summer of 1989, George Denbrough‘s older brother Bill gathers together a group of his friend to try and find the murderer. What they don’t know is that the murder was actually committed by an evil entity known as Pennywise, who awakens every three decades as an ageless, shapeshifting demon..

For those interested, Barbara Muscietti‘s Instagram is packed full of images from It’s shoot. So those of you that are looking to devour every little bit of information that you can regarding this horror remake should immediately head over to her page to increase your excitement for the film. I’m trying to avoid it, both because of spoilers and that fear of clowns keeps looming over my shoulder!

Now I turn to You – the reader. Are You excited for It? Why or why not? Maybe you’re a huge fan of Stephen King and are curious about this “version” of Pennywise; or maybe – like myself – you’re afraid of clowns and morbidly curious.. Let me know in a comment below, and if you enjoyed this list; go and follow me over on my Facebook page! [we’re at over 150+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. So go follow over there too!

Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! I’ve also been writing way more reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch  – with each review coming the very next day after viewing! Are you interested yet? Check me out over there and click that “follow” button! I’m just bound to follow you back because I like reading other people’s thoughts on film, as well as writing reviews myself!

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THANKS FOR READING.

ALSO, on a quick note: seeing as it’s almost October, I have been in the slow process of starting the plans for this year’s Weirdo’ween, so keep an eye open for more on that – it may not be as extravagant as last year’s one movie a day [I’m super busy with two jobs, and my college prep!] but there definitely will be something! STAY TUNED

warrenisweird’s TOP 05 CLOWNS IN HORROR FILMS

Being as it’s Throwback Thursday, I figured there this was a perfect opportunity to bring up a short story. So sit down, grab your coffee, and let’s listen to story time with warrenisweird ! I remember when I first watched the Rob Zombie‘s House Of 1000 Corpses with Steph [granted, this was awhile ago] and thinking that Captain Spaulding was the fucking coolest villain I had seen in a long time – even if he is a clown.. he was creepy, funny, and flat out manic! Everything you could want in a villain; he just had to be a clown!

something I like to call “nightmare fuel” right here..

this, of course, had me questioning myself: “if I have coulrophobia, why is it that sometimes [and very rarely] do I actually like the clown-killer in the film?” Which is the idea behind this post: I’m going to share my TOP FIVE clowns that I actually like in film, even if they are fucking creepy. [I won’t be including Captain Spaulding in the list, since I technically already mentioned him..] Please be warned, if like me – you have coulrophobia, this could be considered a ‘trigger’. it’s bad enough I’m doing this to myself. [with my luck, I’m going to find other clowns while finding pictures..damn] Oh, and spoilers will be abroad.. because it’d be asinine not to warn about the spoilers in the next few pictures. If you think you can stomach clowns in scary situations, please read ahead.


While they are fucking terrifying, I find the klowns from Killer Klowns From Outer Space not nearly as bad as they seem: I mean yeah, they’re certainly weird looking, and they are killer, but they’re more comedic [as is the film] than anything..thankfully. Speaking of, I need to find this film on DVD.


I’ll admit, I really didn’t like the ‘zombie-clown’ from Zombieland at first. If there’s any bad combination, it’s this one. but after a couple viewings, I came to the realization that it isn’t that bad. Sure, he’s covered in blood, and he’s grinning like no tomorrow, but my fear seems to stem from the excessive make-up.. at most, this guy is covered in blood more than anything, which makes him alright..


Drive Thru is a ‘hella’ weird film. It’s about a clown, who was a mascot at a local restaurant called: “Hella Burger” before being killed by a bunch of adults. Naturally, Horny The Clown [I wish I was making up that name] takes it upon himself to go all Freddy Krueger on his murderer’s kids, and hunts them down one by one.


Feel free to call this a cop out, but as far as I’m concerned – Billy from the SAW franchise totally counts as a clown in my book. Sure, he’s not the killer in the film [but, if you wanted to delve deeper: technically, neither is Jigsaw..] but he’s involved in the deaths of the victims. Billy probably stands as my favorite on this list, hands down. as proven by the fact that I own this in it’s original box and everything!


It seems that when I search the internet for clowns [which I plan on never doing again..but probably will end up for another post in the future] The Laugh [as seen above] from the film Amusement seems to be on everyone‘s ‘most terrifying clowns’ list[s]. Yet, someone like me, doesn’t seem to see the creepy-factor.. maybe it’s how boring the film was that makes him less scary to me. The only Laugh I’m going to have is watching this film with it’s lame story, acting, and other garbage.


I think I seem to like LEGO lately..even if it is a ‘zombie-clown’, this is hardcore

Somehow or another, I managed to get through looking at pictures of clowns for this post, It wasn’t simple finding clowns that aren’t scary, but amazingly enough I found five I can stand, [and a billion that I can’t stand]

So now I turn to you: Do you find yourself with Coulrophobia? [fear of clowns] If it isn’t clowns, what are you afraid of? [if anything specific] Let me know in a comment or two, or on Facebook! Join me for my next post!

THANKS FOR READING.