cult

WEIRDO’WEEN #03: DEAD SNOW [2009] / DEAD SNOW 2 [2014]

weirdoween2015

Being as it’s October now, and the days are getting colder as they go along, I figured we should talk about the impending snow fall that is going to eventually be headed our way. I know, I know; it’s something that people hate but – at least for us in North America – it’s usually only a once a year kind of season. However, snow isn’t all bad, it gives us the chance to do things we wouldn’t do otherwise. Things like: snowboarding, snowmobiling, skiing, and best of all – sit around a fireplace at the local cottage.

This is where today’s movie[s] comes in: It follows a group of medical students: Martin, Roy and Erlend who travel with their friend Vegard to meet with their girlfriends: Hanna, Liv and Chris; to spend Easter vacation in an isolated cabin in the wilderness in Øksfjord. It’s not a deserted cabin though, like most movies; this one belongs to Vegard‘s girlfriend Sara, who recently went missing. Today’s movie [and it’s sequel] comes all the way from Norway and is none other than Dead Snow and Dead Snow 2. Being as this is technically two reviews in one, I’ll try and tie them together, making this review slightly longer than usual.

weirdo'ween-#3Starting with Dead Snow, the movie opens with a unnamed woman being chased through the snowy hills of Norway. By the the time she finally stops running, she finds herself cornered and eaten by zombies in World War II German uniforms.. I mean, jeez, this movie does not wait around – it gets right into it!

The movie then cuts to seven medical students on who are all on Easter vacation. [as I mentioned above!] The group arrive at a small cabin near Øksfjord, which they explain is about a 45-minute walk from the road where they have left their cars. [well, there’s movie trope/mistake number one!] The cabin they plan to stay at is owned by Sara, a friend of the other seven students who is Vegard‘s girlfriend – who we find out is one of the group’s members with the most knowledge of the wilderness. However, Sara has been skiing across the mountains to find her way to the rest of the friends, but hasn’t arrived yet.. well – dammit.

Like typical students, the group start to drink [and party] until a mysterious man arrives at their door. He explains to them the dark history of the land they’re ‘relaxing’ at; according to this man, during World War II, a force of “Einsatzgruppen” led by the dreaded Standartenführer Herzog occupied and claimed the area. During three long years, the Nazis abused and tortured the local people, and near the end of the war, with Germany’s defeat coming close, Herzog‘s men looted all their valuables, before ultimately leaving the region. The citizens managed to start an uprising to ambush the Nazis, and actually defeated a lot of them, not all, but a lot. The surviving Nazis, including Herzog, were all chased into the mountains. Being as they never returned, it was assumed by locals that they all froze to death. According to the stranger, the area still has an evil reputation by people, and after leaving that story in the minds of our main cast, he leaves. Naturally though, the mysterious man is soon murdered by zombies while camping in the snow.

The next morning Sara has still not arrived and Vegard takes the group’s snowmobile to look for her. He finds the body of the hiker in his tent, only to fall through snow into a small cave below. Back at the cabin, the other students find an old wooden box filled with valuables such as jewels and coins hidden under the floorboards of the cabin. They consider taking and selling it, but eventually put it back, although some of them keep items. Soon enough, we see Erlend get killed as well – in the best way possible: to summarize, through out the movie, Erlend is seen wearing a Dead Alive shirt, and his death sequence is a direct copy of the first death scene in the movie Dead Alive! Check it out!

This film is filled with blood, guts, and it’s extremely over the top. Making this movie more comedy than horror. It has a lot of call backs to other horror films including Evil Dead 2, [I mean, Martin cuts his entire arm off – with a chainsaw – sound familiar?!] and Dead Alive – as I mentioned above. This is not a bad thing though, it’s actually a lot of fun to watch: and a good choice if you’re trying to introduce someone to horror! But this movie also ends on a cliff-hanger with Martin finally realizing that the zombies are after their stolen loot and not out to kill. [unless they have to] Martin finally gives the box of gold back to Herzog and runs for the cars. However, when he reaches his car, a single coin falls out of Martin‘s pocket. Cursing everything, he looks around..only to see Herzog smashing the car window. AND THAT’S WHEN DEAD SNOW 2 COMES INTO PLAY! But first, let’s quickly check out the trailer for the first Dead Snow film:


Now, onto Part 2! Remember how I said Martin removes his entire arm with a chainsaw? Remember how I said Herzog comes smashing into the car window? Dead Snow 2 starts directly from that point [imagine the credits of the first movie didn’t exist!]  At the beginning of this sequel, Herzog is still holding on to Martin‘s car as he tries to escape. An oncoming truck slices off then Herzog‘s arm, which remains in the car with Martin, though he doesn’t think anything of it.. Until Martin is caught in an accident! He wakes in a hospital, and the police [like any sane person] don’t believe his stories about zombies and try to charge him with the murder of his friends. Also, Martin finds that one of the surgeon’s has [mistakenly] attached Herzog‘s arm to his stump..well, dammit. As we probably all expected the zombie arm goes berserk and attacks everyone within it’s reach. After Martin kills several people against his will, he is sedated and strapped tightly to the bed.

We then see Bobby, a kid American tourist, who sneaks into Martin‘s room when he hears rumors of a zombie attack. Impressed with Martin‘s zombie arm, [rather than, I don’t know, be scared?] Bobby frees Martin and tells him about “The Zombie Squad“, who; as Bobby claims are American professional zombie hunters. Before Bobby can contact them though, [wait hold on..how did this kid get their number? It’s not like they have a website…do they?] Martin‘s new zombie arm throws Bobby out the hospital window! Panicked, Martin follow to where Bobby would have landed and gives the kid CPR. The zombie arm instead crushes Bobby‘s chest, killing the kid instantly. [I mean, what the fuck?! Child-killing? Blasphemy!] Martin escapes the police, who believe him to be a child killer, [well – he technically is a child killer – even if not on purpose] and decides to use the kid’s phone to talk with The Zombie Squad, who promise to come to Norway and help with his “zombie problem”. In the meantime, they ask Martin to find out what Herzog wants, because they believe it will help stop the madness. Naturally though, we learn that The Zombie Squad is actually three nerdy friends: Daniel, Monica, and Blake.

At a World War II museum in the town – which feels very convenient –  Martin meets one of the greatest character in this film: Glenn. After using the zombie arm to intimidate him, Glenn tells Martin about Herzog‘s history: according to Glenn, Herzog was originally tasked by Hitler himself to wipe out an entire Norwegian town for their anti-Nazi sabotage. Martin quickly concludes that Herzog intends to carry out his orders, but before long, Herzog and his zombies attack a group of tourists who happen to be just outside the museum. After the battle against them, Herzog goes crazy and resurrects more of the dead and takes a World War II-era tank. In order to survive, Martin and Glenn [somehow] escape by pretending to be mannequins in the museum. While looking at the carnage, Martin accidentally discovers that his zombie arm can also raise the dead. When Daniel [and the other two members of The Zombie Squad] arrives, he kills Martin‘s new sidekick zombie; but Martin demonstrates his newfound power by raising it again! [see picture above]

Martin, Daniel, and the unnamed sidekick zombie  work together and find a graveyard where Russian POWs were buried, while Monica, Blake, and Glenn all work to slow down Herzog. In an effort to help out, Monica and Blake convince Glenn to act as bait to draw some of the zombies into a local swamp, where they will kill them with grenades found in the museum. After shooting at them with the tank gun several times, albeit, missing them; Herzog continues on his way. Meanwhile, the others discover the graveyard they read about at the museum, and Martin goes all out and raises an entire troop of Russian zombies. Then, the final battle comes.

The battle is seemingly going well at first, but the Nazi zombies eventually overpower Martin‘s Russian zombies. As the Nazi zombies close in on them, Daniel tells Martin to kill Herzog, once and for all. As Daniel attempts to take control of the Nazi zombie’s tank, Martin directly faces Herzog, telling him that he’s lost, and he should surrender [though, I figure Martin plans on killing him either way] Monica and Blake are about to be overwhelmed in the background though when suddenly Daniel fires the tank gun directly at Herzog while Martin keeps him distracted.. In what feels like 100 years, [or in this case: two movies] Herzog is decapitated, which leave his troops falling lifelessly to the ground, thus saving Monica and Blake. After they celebrate, Martin drives to the church where Hanna – Martin‘s girlfriend from the first movie – is buried, digs up her corpse, and brings her back. [as a zombie] The two proceed to kiss and have sex as the sidekick zombie looks on in the distance. what. the. fuck. Also, for those of you holding out for a third Dead Snow film, we get a post-credits scene! In said scene, we see a Nazi scientist-like zombie holding Herzog‘s “live” head! As I said, these movies are ridiculously gory/bloody. But surprisingly, not scary at all – just violent. They are cheesy, they both have fantastic writing, and I totally recommend watching both – in order. If you were to watch the first film, and then quickly throw in the second without watching the credits, you’d have a full length feature. They are foreign films though, so be warned of the subtitles – if you can handle them, be sure to watch Dead Snow and Dead Snow 2: Red VS Dead.  [Also, here’s the trailer for the second movie!!]

Now I look to you: are you planning on watching these films? Or have you already seen them? If you have, what did you think? silly, gory, zombie fun? Or are you more of a fan of scary zombies? Let me know in a comment or two! Also, even if I have the first few film reviews planned already, please let me know which movie[s] you want to see reviewed next! If you found yourself to enjoy review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I post weirdo’ween #04STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

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WEIRDO’WEEN #0.5: An Introduction/Tim Burton’s Hansel and Gretel [1982]

weirdoween2015In all my time blogging about movies and movie-like news, I’ve learned one thing: people seem to love movie reviews. Whether it’s whenever I post one here on warrenisweird, or on my Letterboxd account, it’s something that people seem to love..or love to hate, which is a good -or a bad- thing. I enjoy writing them, and it gives me a feeling of excitement knowing that there’s at least one person out there that either agrees, or disagrees with my thoughts on a film. Thus, me doing something new during this, and every upcoming, Halloween Season.. I call it: weirdo’ween!

Usually – as an almost tradition – during the month of October, I watch more horror than I usually would, in order to get myself pumped for the 31st, when I usually watch Trick ‘r Treat. [I often consider it the definitive Halloween movie] Therefore, since tomorrow marks the first day of October, I have to prepare myself to watch; I already have a list written up of what I’ll be most likely be watching [as subject is to change at any time] and as someone who enjoys writing reviews [and you all seem to enjoy reading my thoughts on them] I will be watching -and then writing a spoiler filled review- of a movie every night, ending with Trick ‘r Treat on the 31st of the month. Naturally, this means the reviews might come off as long sometimes, depending how much gets said about each one! If at any time during the month you have a suggestion for the next film/review, be sure to leave it in a comment – because I just might watch it! As an introduction to weirdo’ween, let’s start with a direct to TV special that was never released to the general public, at least not on home video: Tim Burton‘s Hansel & Gretel from 1982! I’m a huge fan of Burton‘s, so this should be interesting, right? well – let’s just cut to the review, shall we? We’ll talk about the obscurities afterwards.

Burton‘s Hansel & Gretel follows two children who are lured into the woods and are left for dead by their stepmother, who claims she cannot feed them. When they awaken, they come up to a house made of cake, and comfortably eat, and meet a woman who invites them to enter her “cake home”. Naturally, these two kids agree to go inside… only to find that this woman is actually a witch. It’s nothing new. We all know the fairy tale. Like expected, this version of the story follows the same structure and, in general, a lot of elements, including parts of the story that are often changed, like the swan scene. But, to many people’s surprise, it does change a few things.. and those changes – are fair sized. For some reason, the main cast is Asian, not a bad thing, just not what I was expecting. To add to this obscure piece of ‘art’, there is martial arts sequences – complete with shurikens. [seriously? what the hell am I watching?!] Remember in the original story, the idea was to to get the siblings fatter and fatter so the witch could eat them? Well, what’s used to fatten Hansel is a gingerbread man -that talks- and demands to be eaten.. We also see one of them getting grabbed by the many hands that are seen attached to a marshmallow bed he was seen sleeping in. I mean, it’s Hansel & Gretel, but it’s really not.. Even the wicked women in this are played by the same person, and it’s a man! In case you’re wondering we even seen him eat all of the scenery – whether it’s meant to be sugar, candy or otherwise.

If you haven’t already been able to tell, it’s fairly disturbing. I know you’re probably wondering but before you ask “isn’t this a children’s film?”, the answer is yes, but it is also a Brother’s Grimm story, and don’t forget, it’s also a Burton piece. He’s known for his trademarks, and they’re definitely shown in this short: gothic and surreal set pieces, creative design/visuals, exaggerated features, such as their huge dinner table, and some times, the same object can be both considered creepy, yet cute. In Hansel & Gretel, Father is a toy maker, allowing the viewer to see a lot of wound-up figures, though they’re mostly used in the opening sequence [did I mention that one of these eats another?!] The film is made up of both stop motion and live action; and sadly, you can usually tell where one ends and the other begins.Sometimes, the sets look cardboard-y, and some of the props don’t really feel “real”, although this could be intentional. Lastly, the cinematography is good, showing us how Burton‘s style is going to become in future movies.


Tim Burton‘s Hansel & Gretal is one hell of a movie, and it feels like a dream; you really can’t tell what’s real or not.. it’s obscure, it’s colorful, and it’s dark – and I don’t mean the set pieces. It’s definitely something you have to experience for yourself to get a feel for what I mean, but that could be said about any movie.. So because it’s something that’s only surfaced in the last few years, I have a treat for you: [that won’t be part of the rest of weirdo’ween] Here’s Tim Burton‘s Hansel & Gretel in it’s full obscurity below:

So this was #0.5 of weirdo’ween, with tomorrow being the first official movie review for the Halloween/weirdo’ween season. [weirdo’ween #01] Although I have the first few film reviews planned already, please let me know in a comment or two which movie[s] you want to see reviewed next! If you found yourself to enjoy review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

FRIGHT RAGS brings back memories of “Garfield’s Halloween Adventure” !

garfieldandodie

writer’s note: I know it’s been about a week now since I wrote anything here, but this past week was hell for me. a lot happened, and happened fast, in the span of a few days; so I put off writing so no negative words came about. All I ask is for no one to ask about it, because it’s more or less resolved but I assure you – warrenisweird isn’t going anywhere, and nothing happened between Stephanie and I. Everything is more or less back to normal..

Thanks for understanding,

Warren


If you follow me just about anywhere online, you know that I absolutely love pop culture characters. [Especially ones from the 1980s, even if I did grow up in 1992!] I always have, – and probably always will – enjoyed the idea of characters such as Pee-Wee Herman and even ones people seem to have forgotten; like Falcor from The NeverEnding Story! One such character that I used to obsess over was a lazy, orange cat..who happened to have an insatiable lust for lasagna. Of course, I’m talking about Garfield!

Garfield feels like he’s been around for forever, doesn’t he? From comic books, to toys, to a Saturday morning cartoon, to a live action film! [that granted – wasn’t all that good..] But hold on, let’s back it up a step: a morning cartoon. Garfield and Friends was an animated series based on the comic strip series by Jim Davis. It ran on CBS Saturday mornings from September 17, 1988 to December 10, 1994, with reruns airing until October 7, 1995. The show was insanely popular, as it ran for seven seasons! I remember watching the show when I was younger [which I guess means I caught the last few seasons based on the age of the show] and it sparked my love for the characters more than ever. But let’s cut to the chase shall we? Why am I talking about Garfield of all characters? I’m a fan of the gorier, more graphic horror films – and Garfield is the farthest thing from? Or is he?

Along with the original series, Garfield and Friends had a Halloween special one year titled:Garfield’s Halloween Adventure [fun fact: it was originally titled: Garfield In Disguise] and is considered one of the darkest tales in the character’s history. It’s eerie, it’s atmospheric, and most of all – it scared the hell out of me as a kid. The entire episode can actually be watched here, as well as a few other Halloween cartoons from the 80s [which is totally worth watching!] though the Garfield special is the greatest of the bunch.

However, it seems that Fright Rags also remembers the creepy cartoon and it’s popularity, and for its 30th Anniversary, they have not one, but four different designs coming soon in black and orange, for both boys and girls, in zip up hoodies and in baseball tee format! They’re not available yet but you can pre-order them now on their website! Orders are planned to be shipped in mid-October to be on time for Halloween. So think of it this way, Mondays may not be the greatest thing in the world, but right now – these shirts are some of the coolest things around; check out the designs below!


[click the picture to pre-order this design!]

[click the picture to pre-order this design!]

[click on the picture to pre-order this design!]

[click the picture to pre-order this design!]


So now the question remains, will you be ordering any of the shirt designs above? If so, which one? I’m partial to the Bat-Garfield on the baseball tee, but that’s because I don’t have nearly enough baseball tee designs in my closet! Another question I have is who is your favorite pop culture icon from the 1980s/1990s? Is Garfield one of your favorites? Or is he just like any lazy cat? Let me know in a comment or two! If you found yourself to enjoy this article, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 100+ likes – only 15 more and we’ll have reached 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

[on a completely separate note, I have a big idea rolling around in my skull for when October comes, which is coming sooner than people want to believe – so keep your eyes open by following here on the blog, on Twitter or on Facebook.. STAY TUNED!]

THANKS FOR READING.

FRIDAY FUN FACT: FRANKENSTEIN [1931]

Wow. What a week it’s been. With my new job [is this news to you? catch up over here!] being a full time thing now, I’ve been extremely busy; and as a result – tired. But in between working and catching up on movies I’ve either missed out on, or haven’t watched until late into the evening, I’ve managed to  squeeze in the time to watch a film I bought a few weeks ago, but never got around to watching until this past Saturday – August 29th. That film was none other than my favorite Universal Monster film; Frankenstein. I had seen most of the film before, but not the entirety of it from start to finish, and after buying it and Bride Of Frankenstein, I figured I’d take one evening and watch the classic black and white film.

and man am I glad I did! the atmosphere of the film is unlike anything I’ve seen in recent years, making it feel dark, gloomy, and all around creepy! The sets that we’re exposed to are what seem to be a pure spin off of German Expressionism. Best of all, Doctor Frankenstein‘s “castle” is all twisted and distorted, making it feel like something from another world!  It’s not a long film by any means – clocking in at only 70 minutes – but it’s a staple in it’s genre, and deserves to be praised. Believe it or not, Frankenstein was technically not even a “horror” movie when it was first released back in 1931, since the term “horror” as a film genre wasn’t used officially until 1934!

but did you know?

In the film, just after bringing the monster to life, Dr. Frankenstein utters the [now] famous line, “Now I know what it’s like to be God!” Originally, the movie was released with this line, but when it was re-released in the late ’30s, film censors demanded it be removed: stating that it was blasphemy. Instead, a loud clap of thunder was used to switch out the line on the film’s soundtrack. This “censored dialog” was partially returned to the soundtrack in the initial “restored version” releases, and now, further restoration has now completely brought back this line of missing dialog. A clean recording of the missing dialog was supposedly found on a Vitaphone disc. [which looks similar to a large phonograph record] With modern audio technology available to us now, the dialog has been put back into the film without any detectable change in the audio quality, and good thing too: I feel this line gives us an insight to just how maniacal Dr. Frankenstein truly is!

Speaking of cuts from the film, there’s one specific scene where The Monster walks through a forest and comes upon a little girl, Maria, who is seen throwing flowers into a nearby pond. The Monster joins her and does the same, but being as there is now two of them doing it – they run out of flowers. Noticing he no longer has something to throw into the water, The Monster looks at Maria and moves toward her. In all North American prints of the movie, this is where the scene ends. However, the original cut of the film shows the action continue, as we see The Monster actually grab Maria, tossing her into the pond, then leaving the area [confused] when he notices that Maria doesn’t float like the flowers did. As expected, this little bit extra was removed because the censors complained about the violent end of the little girl. In the re issue of the film on DVD/Blu, the scene is restored [and is marvelous to watch!]

Lastly, according to The People’s Almanac, there’s one point where the movie was suppose to include a line of dialogue giving The Monster the name: Adam[presumably like the Biblical Adam?] The Almanac claims that there was an early print of this film that may have been released with such a scene, but that it was quickly cut out when audiences began referring to The Monster by the name Frankenstein..


Although there were many more cuts and edits to the film, Frankenstein remains a classic Monster movie to last the ages. Without the likes of it, [along with the other Universal Monster films] horror wouldn’t be the way it is now – and I love it to pieces for that reason. It’s atmospheric, it’s a landmark in cinema, and it’s still shocks audiences today! I’m glad I got the chance to write this FRIDAY FUN FACT, because up next is Bride Of Frankenstein, which I’ve yet to watch! With the long weekend coming up these next three days, I’m caught working but be sure to join me for my next post – whatever the topic may be!

Also, if you found yourself to enjoy this FRIDAY FUN FACT, please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 100+ likes – only 15 more and we’ll have reached 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

FRIDAY FUN FACT: Tales From The Crypt [1989-1996]

You know what I miss writing that I almost forgot that I do: Friday Fun Facts. Y’know, when I talk about a certain movie – or franchise – and talk about weird little tidbits that you might not have known about them. It was originally planned to be an every Friday thing but that didn’t pan out exactly as planned because I either was too busy to write anything, or I’d find something I’d consider “more exciting” to write about. So consider this a warning: not every Friday will include a Friday Fun Fact post; I will try and do more, more often – but I can’t promise anything..especially with new things happening both here on the blog, and in my actual real life – where I go out and actually get sunlight once and a while. [shocking! I know!]

What better way to jump back into FFFs by talking about one of my top 3 favorite shows of all time: Tales From The Crypt: don’t act like you don’t know it. Cause you do..I know you do, even if you don’t recognize it by name. Tales is an American horror anthology series that played on HBO for seven seasons, with a running total of 93 episodes! One thing to note is that the title of the series, is based on the 1950s EC Comics series of the same name and most of the content in the show, came from that or the six other EC Comics that were being released at the same time. [The Crypt of Terror, Haunt of Fear, Vault of Horror, Crime SuspenStories, Shock SuspenStories and Two-Fisted Tales] Introduced by a creepy puppet called “The Crypt Keeper“, who seems like he’s only around to have fun, [and make terrible puns!] Tales From The Crypt is a show that definitely feels like a cross between The Twilight Zone and modern horror movies. Basically, I’m trying to tell you that as a whole, it’s not suitable for younger audiences or even the squeamish, really.

but did you know?

The introduction sequence during the opening theme that played each and every episode through The Cryptkeeper‘s ‘home’ is actually fairly small: roughly the size of a miniature golf course. To achieve the look of a large mansion, small “snorkel” cameras were used to film. However, the descent into the crypt at the end of the intro is computer generated. Be sure to check out the opening theme, here!

John Kassir actually hurt his voice while doing the signature voice of The Cryptkeeper. Because of the raspy-ness of the character, He had to often swallow lemon juice mixed with honey in order to sooth his throat. [after doing his lines] John Kassir even came up with the trademark voice himself, when he auditioned for the part, the producers of the show loved it so much they almost immediately chose him. Well done, John!

One of the weirder and more obscure pieces of trivia about the show, involves the actual puppet of The Cryptkeeper. It seems that while animatronics expert Kevin Yagher was in the last stages of designing The Cryptkeeper, he tried putting on a few noses to see which would look best for and on the character; who already had shed lips, some hair and most of his teeth.. but none looked quite right. It wasn’t until Director and producer Robert Zemeckis simply stated, “You know, you don’t necessarily have to have a nose on him..”


So there you have it Fright Fans, three things that you may or may not have known about the cult classic anthology show: Tales From The Crypt. Which piece of trivia did you like best? Could it be that The Crypt Keeper almost had a nose? Or is it the fact that the voice actor seemed to actually hurt himself, for the sake of the show? Let me know in a comment or two! As I said above, I will try to make Friday Fun Facts more often, but I can’t promise anything – a lot is happening with both the blog and daily life, which if everything pans out the way I hope it will- I’ll talk about it on here; but when the timing is right.

Also, if you found yourself to enjoy this week’s Friday Fun Fact, please take a minute and follow me over on Facebook where you can click thelikebutton on my Facebook page [it’s at over 100+ likes – thanks so much!] By clicking “like”, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted. I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you guys to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share the page with your family and friends!

yeah.. uh. no thank you!

THANKS FOR READING.

SCREAM FACTORY announces TEN new releases!

You know what I love? movies. You know what I love more than movies? [my wife – yes I can say that now] when a cult movie gets re-released! That’s where Shout! Factory [and their sister site; Scream! Factory] succeeds; and quickly became one of my favorite film/TV on DVD distributors. Starting back in 2004, Shout! Factory released the complete series of cult classic TV show: Freaks and Geeks with tons of bonus features – which they’ve since become known for. I won’t go far into their history, because that’s not why you’re here, so let’s get on with the horror! As I said above, Scream! Factory is the side of the company that releases the cult horror; which is what I am [slowly] starting to collect. With titles like Sleepaway Camp and even one of my personal favorites: Army Of Darkness on it’s way, the company seems to know what their fans want. With #SDCC long and done for this year, many things were mentioned [see my last post*] and one such thing was Scream! Factory‘s plan to release TEN new films on Blu Ray!

That’s right, ten brand new titles, successfully acquired for Blu-Ray release. While none of the following have solid release dates yet, most [if not all] are expected before the end of 2016. I suppose this only means that my movie shelf is slowly going to collapse under it’s own weight, cause each one is either a film I’ve been looking to pick up, or I haven’t had time to pick up. So enough talk and let’s look at these expected releases, shall we? I’ve included the movie’s poster, and a quick plot synopsis, just to get you in the mood for some cult film! Truthfully, I’m actually excited for quite a few of these! Ready..Go!

 Women’s Prison Massacre: this film follows Emanuelle, who is a reporter who comes just a little too close to exposing a corrupt city official, and is therefore sent to prison on charges. [because relevance, I guess] While in prison, the inmates are constantly harassed [and even tortured] by the prison workers. It’s the kind of place where overly loving prisoners have their heads forced underwater, while others are told to look, so they know what could happen to them.. Emanuelle finds an enemy in the deranged Albina, someone who “runs the prison.” For the pleasure of the warden, Emanuelle and Albina are forced to fight each other..with knives! It doesn’t help that four men from inside the prison escape and ultimately, take over the prison. Women’s Prison Massacre is violent, it’s gory, and it’s Italian. What’s not to like?


Blood & Lace: with a title like Blood & Lace, you know it’s going to be interesting. Our story here follows young Ellie Masters, who’s prostitute mother and her lover are beaten to death in bed while little Ellie is sent to an isolated orphanage run by Mrs. Deere and her handyman who ‘helps’ out at the orphanage. The only one who seems to be taking an interest in her well being is detective Calvin Carruthers. While a lot of unpleasant surprises are in store for Ellie in this movie, the biggest is the fact that Mrs. Deere [and her handyman] are both brutal sadists, who run the orphanage like a concentration camp, proving that her mother’s hammer-wielding killer is now most likely stalking her!


Troll/Troll 2: Probably the film[s] I’m most excited for on this list, the Troll movies are bad – like “Oh My Godddddd!bad, but you know what? It’s probably the reason I love them so much. This one was a long time coming from Scream! Factory so I’m definitely going to have to grab this one on Blu Ray. Though I doubt it, I’m hoping for one of the special features to be Best Worst Movie, which is the documentary about the making of Troll 2. Fun Fact, did you know this film featured a ‘hero’ named Harry Potter before the boy wizard? Weird, I know..


Ghost Story: In this movie, we meet four successful [yet elderly] gentlemen, who are all members of a group known as The Chowder Society, where they tell ghost stories to one another. The interesting thing is that all four men share a gruesome, 50-year old secret.. and I’m not talking about their friendship! But when one of Edward Wanderley‘s twin sons dies in an accident, the group begins to see a pattern of frightening events developing before their eyes.


The Guardian: I’m just going tothrow you right into the plot for this film, okay? Meet Phil and Kate. They have a baby boy. His name is Jake. The happy couple decide to hire a babysitter named Camilla to look after Jake, and quickly she becomes almost like part of the family. The family’s neighbor, Ned, ends up takes a liking to Camilla and asks her out on a date. Quickly, she refuses, but heartbroken Ned follows her home, only to discover that she is not quite human. When Camilla discovers that she has been followed, she leaves a message for Phil and Kate which reveals that she has special plans for young Jake..


The Car: While traveling through the desert on their bikes, two teenage are murdered by a black car. When this car hit a hitchhiker and the crime is witnessed, Sheriff Everett puts his men on high alert and plans to put road blocks in the area to arrest the driving murderer. Sooner than later, he becomes a victim of the car and newly appointed Sheriff Wade Parent begins a man hunt for the vehicle that is seemingly threatening his town. Though, it seems to be impossible to be located. It’s only then that Wade realizes that he might be dealing with a car with supernatural powers.


Nightmares: An anthology film full of horror! Once again, this is one of the releases I’m most excited for. In one story, a woman who leaves her house late at night to drive to the store while a killer is loose..and encounters some problems. In the second, an arcade kid’s obsession with a game leads to deadly consequences. The third story follows a small town priest who loses his faith and decides to leave town – only to be stalked by a mysterious black pick-up truck.. Ending with the final story, with a family’s problem with a rat is larger than they think..


Death Becomes Her: Helen, a writer. Madeline, an actress. These two have hated each other for years. For good reason though, since Madeline is married to Ernest, who was once Helen‘s fiance! After recovering from a mental breakdown, Helen swears her revenge by planning to steal back Ernest and killing Madeline. But both rivals have secretly swallowed a miracle cure for aging; as they accidentally discover, when trying to eliminate the other, that they have both become immortal and that “life” will never be the same again..


The Garbage Pail Kids Movie: I’m sure I don’t have to say much about this movie; it’s definitely a “you love it or hate it” kind of film, but it’s a cult classic for sure! It follows seven [disgusting] kids who each have their own set of interesting personalities. They’re being made of the green mud coming out of garbage can, and once alive; their master gives them rules to obey.. Though, they think that life is funnier without following stupid regulations like no television or no candy. Naturally, this might just cause some problems. It’s gross, it’s raunchy, it’s everything you want – it’s The Garbage Pail Kids!


The Return Of The Living Dead: MORE BRAINS! It usually follows the idiots, doesn’t it? When a pair of idiotic employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally release a deadly toxin into the air, the vapors cause the dead to re-animate as they go on a rampage through Louisville, Kentucky seeking their favorite food – brains. This film is already a classic, but with the Tarman, it’s easily one of the better zombie classics.


Hopefully this list didn’t feel too long, but if you’ve made it this far; I need to know..for science – what re-release are you looking forward to? Is it something sadistic like Blood & Lace? Or are you more a fan of The Garbage Pail Kids? Let me know in a comment or two below! Also, If you found yourself to enjoy this article, please take a minute and follow me over on Facebook where you can click thelikebutton on my Facebook page. By clicking “like”, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted. I also share links and pictures that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more articles, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share the page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

WAIT, DARIO ARGENTO’S SUSPIRIA IS GETTING A REMAKE?

suspiriasequelSuspiria is a strange film. Full of bright colors, gruesome violence and is set to a score that’s nearly as good as the movie itself; it’s beyond compare, and because of this – it’s one of those movies that after ‘experiencing’ it, you pray that it won’t get a remake.. The 1977 movie takes place on a stormy night, where an American dancer named Suzy Bannion arrives in Freiburg [but coming from New York] to join what she knows as a famous [and expensive] ballet school for a three year internship. Not even the next morning after her arrival, she is told [by the direction of the school] that a student she met earlier [leaving the school on the night she arrived!] was violently murdered and the police are investigating this crime. When Suzy becomes friend of another student, Sara, she quickly realizes that the school house is actually a coven of evil witches!

Back in 2008 though, Director David Gordon Green was actually planning on remaking Argento’s Italian horror classic for American audiences, [ughhhhh] but earlier last week, Green finally opened up about his original plan on his remake. This new information comes from a Crave Online interview..

But, at the heart of it,” Green continues, “I wanted it to be a horror film. And a horror movie, at the time when we were modeling that movie, meant you’re making Saw and Paranormal [Activity]. You were making these down and dirty, very gory, very economical movies. So the economic model for a horror movie was not where I wanted it to be to make a $20 million elegant movie from a guy who was an unproven horror director, you know?


The real question is though, is the Suspiria remake going to get off the ground now that “torture porn” as a genre has fallen, [good thing!]  and been way overused? One thing is for sure though, the most interesting comment in the interview is that there is a new version of the project is in fact in the works:

I’m actually hopeful that it’s happening,” Green said, “with a great Italian director that I had breakfast with last week.”

Last I remember though, Suspiria had a TV series being planned, rather than a large screen reboot; so at this time, are we getting both? Are we getting neither? Hopefully it’ll be the film reboot just because I can’t imagine the film as an ongoing series. [I feel that it almost doesn’t make sense..]


But what about you? Would you want a Suspiria reboot? Or are you still hoping for a TV series based on the movie? Let me know in a comment or two! If we are getting a movie, would you want it to be as colorful as the original? Or would you want a brand new vision? Also, If you found yourself to enjoy this article, please take a minute and follow me over on Facebook where you can click thelikebutton on my Facebook page. By clicking “like”, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted. I also share links and pictures that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more articles, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share the page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

HORROR AT IT’S FINEST – HBO’S TALES FROM THE CRYPT

TFTC

Hey there kiddies! It’s your old pal, The CryptKeeper! and I’m here to tell you a few stories that involve death, monsters, and best of all: terrible horror puns! ahem. Sorry, I don’t know where that came from.. probably another time or even another place – a place where I had a raspy voice and made terrible jokes..oh wait a second. That actually sounds about right..


In all seriousness though, Tales From The Crypt is an American horror anthology television series that ran from June 10 1989 to July 19 1996 on HBO for seven seasons [and two movies!], equaling itself out to a total of 93 episodes. The show’s title is based on the 1950s EC Comics series of the same name, with most of the content originating in that comic, or the six other EC Comics that appeared around the same time [these were known as “The Crypt Of Terror”, “The Haunt Of Fear”, “The Vault Of Horror”, “Crime SuspenStories”, “Shock SuspenStories” andTwo-Fisted Tales”] An interesting thing to note is that because it was aired on HBO, which is a premium television channel, Tales From The Crypt was one of the few anthology series of it’s time to be actually be allowed to have full freedom from censorship by network standards and as a result, HBO gave the okay and allowed the series to contain graphic violence as well as other content that had not appeared in most television series up to that time: such as crude humor, gore, nudity and even sexual situations. Naturally, this would most likely give the series a TV-MA rating by today’s standards!

To give you some perspective on the show, each [and every] episode of Tales From The Crypt begins with a tracking shot leading to the front door of The Crypt Keeper‘s decrepit – presumably haunted – mansion. [which I like to call, “my dream house”] Once the viewer[s] are inside, the camera pans down the narrow hallways and stairways, and then finally descends into the dark, dirty basement. The show’s host, known as the CryptKeeper, then pops out from his coffin, cackling wildly; ending with a green slime as it pours down over the screen with the main title appearing. [can’t picture it? we’ll come back to this in a bit..] The CryptKeeper is an animated corpse, as opposed to what he was in the original comics where he was actually a living human being! Our wisecracking Host, who was voiced by John Kassir, would then introduce the episode with intentionally hackneyed puns with his trademark greeting to viewers: “Hello, Boils and Ghouls” or “Hello, Kiddies”. Each episode was fairly self-contained, and normally ended with an specialized outro sequence involving the CryptKeeper, usually by telling us that the person[s] who died in the episode had it coming.. using really bad [but entertaining] puns! The comic book cover art that was used for each episode were created by Mike Vosburg and Shawn McManus.

what a cutie, am I right? just me? okay..

In 1993, a Saturday morning cartoon that grew up watching as well known as Tales From The Cryptkeeper was created/spun off from the original HBO series. It was produced by Nelvana [a Canadian company] for ABC, rather than HBO; which naturally means that the excessive violence of the prime-time series was insanely toned down and the gore was removed completely. Nelvana even went so far as to find [and employ] a child psychologist to double check the show’s scripts to be sure that the episodes would be suitable for younger viewers. The CryptKeeper puppet from the classic show was considered to be the host for the series as well, but it was ultimately ruled that he would probably frighten the younger audiences. Instead, we were given an animated version, which granted – looks closer to the EC Comics version – with John Kassir reprising as the voice of The CryptKeeper. This series didn’t last overly long though, running for a short 26 episodes with only two seasons.

Tales From The Crypt was [and still is] a fantastic show, it’s something that I like to call horror at it’s finest. I grew up watching this series and the animated series: Tales From The CryptKeeper. If you haven’t seen the series before [blasphemy!] or you just want to relive some cult horror television, I implore you to check out a few episodes online on your own, or with some friends; cause you know what they say: “the morgue, the merrier!” [here come the puns, again!] As someone who’s been revisiting the series lately [especially after finding seasons 1 and 2 on DVD for $10!] I strongly recommend the series in full.  I recommend it so strongly in fact, that I’ve even included the show’s intro [which I described above] to get you in the ghastly spirit of things!

THANKS FOR READING.

By The Power Of Magic, THE CRAFT Is Getting Remade

If there’s one trend that seems to be sticking around lately, it’s rebooting a film, remaking a film, or making unnecessary sequels. This news is no different than that, because it’s official: Sony Pictures is set to remake the 90s witch-centric cult hit The Craft and according to The Hollywood Reporter, it’s has already found it’s director. Leigh Janiak, who is probably best known for her surreal horror Honeymoon, is set to write and direct this new version of the movie. The original film, which came out in 1996, had Robin Tunney play as the newest member of a group of school outcasts. Together, the four women begin to dabble in the dark arts of witchcraft, using magic to get back at bullies and the “bad boys”.

Obviously, It’s too early to tell, so it’s not fully clear just how faithful this remake will be, but as we saw in her last movie, Janiak certainly knows how to build supernatural tension. Based on Honeymoon, I’m sure she’ll also be able to handle the kind of snappy and witty dialog that comes with a high school-aged coven of girls. Apparently, Sony has faith in the project, because according to same article above, The Hollywood Reporter, she had impressed Sony executives with her take on “a female empowerment tale” . It must have taken some fighting to get finally get it remake though, because The Craft was supposed to be remade back in 2006, and then [the project] died in 2008. By the power of witchcraft, it’s been resurrected..again.

[I don’t even care, Fairuza Balk is still an absolute babe. just me? anyone?]

I’m just trying to wrap my head around a remake of the film though, It’s not exactly necessary. [granted, what remake really is?] To this day, I feel the original film still holds up, but maybe that’s my nostalgic mind talking- It wasn’t a bad film per se, it was an entertaining 90’s teen flick – it’s just important to remember that is exactly what it is: a teen flick. If you were to go into The Craft hoping for method-acting or some extreme character development, you’re going to be disappointed. Because that’s not what the film is about: but rather, is about peer pressure, how cruel teenagers can really be, and the power-trips given off by catholic witches. If you weren’t aware though, there was even a few complaints brought against this movie when it was first released by actual practicing Wiccans, who had stated that it gives the false impression that Wiccans engage only in “bad” magic, as we see the girls in the movie putting curses and spells on their enemies.. and with all the “hipster witches” of today’s societies, I feel that we’re bound to get some sort of complaint[s] when this version of The Craft comes out as well..

[Oh Nancy, you are my kind of lady ♡]

Clearly, this is an interesting choice for a remake, it seems like an unnecessary choice, but I’m sure we can all agree that lately, Hollywood hasn’t really had any original ideas to work with; with a few exceptions of course. How do you feel about The Craft getting remade? Are you curious, or just plain worried for the outcome? Who would you cast in the girls’ roles? Let me know in a comment or two.  Also, if you found yourself to enjoy this piece, please take a minute and follow me over on Facebook where you can click the “like” button on my Facebook page. By clicking “like”, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted. I also share links and pictures that will not be featured here on the blog.  So be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share the page with family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

TRAILER THOUGHTS: Human Centipede III [Final Sequence]

I hope you’re excited – because I certainly am. Because It’s finally landed: The Human Centipede III trailer is here; and it’s going to be a good one! Up until now, all we had was a teaser poster [as seen above] and a sound clip – which, realistically, doesn’t tell us much. The film will be released to [limited] theaters and Video On Demand on May 22, and I’m fucking stoked. Now, the cool thing about these films is the first film had Dieter Laser, the sequel had Laurence R. Harvey, and now this third and final film has both of them working together; along with series newcomer Eric Roberts..because he’s still relevant , somehow.

I remember seeing the first Human Centipede film and being upset at how it played out – being almost mad that it was more of a “mind-fuck” of a film, where we saw little to no gore. It wasn’t nearly as bad [though, it was pretty inappropriate] as people online had made it sound.. and then I saw the sequel. The sequel was what I expected from the first film; and more! It was extremely gruesome, it was violent, and it was fucked. It still stands as one of the only films I cringe at! [that teeth knock-out scene, though!] Now we have The Final Sequence, and it’s looking crazy, really crazy – Almost to the point where it’s laughable, but for some odd reason – I’m getting more and more excited for it! I mean, just how can they top the first two films?

Like I said above, we finally got the trailer [which will be posted at the end] for the final sequence and for some reason, I’m actually looking forward to the film. It looks weird, it looks all kinds of wrong, but most of all: it looks fun to watch. [never thought I’d say that about this series..] Although the films are fucked, I have to hand it to Tom Six, he definitely has a way with making sequels.  These films are finally coming to an end, so here’s hoping it goes out with a bang! [fun fact: it’s supposed to be filmed in such a way, that all three films can be watched together: like a legitimate centipede. Well played, Tom Six]


Synopsis:

“Bully prison warden Bill Boss [played by Dieter Laser], leading a big state prison in the US of A, has a lot of problems; his prison statistically has the highest amount of prison riots, medical costs and staff turnover in the country. But foremost he is unable to get the respect he thinks he deserves from his inmates and the state Governor. [Eric Roberts] He constantly fails in experimenting with different ideas for the ideal punishment to get the inmates in line, which drives him, together with the sizzling heat, completely insane! Under threats of termination by the Governor, his loyal right hand man Dwight [Laurence R Harvey] comes up with a brilliant idea: A revolutionary idea which could change the American prison system for good and save billions of dollars. An idea based on the notorious Human Centipede movies, that will literally and figuratively get the inmates on their knees, creating the ultimate punishment and deterrent for anyone considering a life of crime. Having nothing to lose, Bill and Dwight create a jaw-dropping 500-person prison centipede.”


Even just reading that synopsis concerns me: I mean, a 500 person centipede? Talk about insane! the thing is though, Tom Six, the director/writer of these notorious films; has stated this one isn’t going to be “as bad” as the first two films. Does this mean it won’t be as gory as Full Sequence? I guess we’ll have to see. Don’t take all this from me head on though, check out the trailer for yourself below!

How do you feel about a third Human Centipede film? Are you a fan of these films or are they films that just shouldn’t have been made in the first place? With Final Sequence being the final film, and I can promise it’ll be reviewed as soon as I get the chance to watch it! Just as a reminder, the film is being released on May 22, 2015 – which is coming closer everyday. Let me know what you think in a comment or two.

Lastly, if you found yourself to enjoy this piece, please take a minute and head over to Facebook to click the “like” button on my Facebook page. By clicking “like”, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted. I also share things that will not be featured here on the blog.  So be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share the page with family and friends!

like a really messed up version of “follow the leader”..

THANKS FOR READING.

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