Journal

Dear Internet: An Epiphany By Warren[isweird]

n38zyjp

[an accurate representation of my mind since Tuesday this past week]

Internet, we need to talk. You are probably going to want to sit down for this one, because I have something extremely important I want to talk [well, technically write] to you all about: the future of warrenisweird. If you follow me on Instagram, on Twitter, or even in real life; you probably have a good idea of where this post is headed before I even start. sigh. Believe me when I say, this is harder for me to say than it is for you to read it. Ready? This is going to be a long one so take a deep breath with me, and let’s talk. Okay, here goes.

If you have been following warrenisweird since the beginning, you would know/remember that I work at a funeral home and have been for a while now. [my fourth year is coming this July!] You would also know that my chosen career path is to become a fully Licensed Funeral Director. While this still all remains true to this day, my work-life is constantly evolving: I am learning more and more everyday about the role of a Funeral Director and through my newly learned skills, I took [what I consider] one of the biggest chances in my life and applied for College in order to become said Funeral Director. With all this busy-ness happening, you probably also have noticed a lack in posts on here. This is mainly because I have been working a lot more lately ever since we lost two staff members at work, and when I actually am off work; I am taking a break.. usually ending with me falling asleep on the couch. Hell, I haven’t even watched a movie in what feels like forever because I am so damn busy.. Be all this as it may, this past Tuesday – the 2nd of May – I received the absolute best news imaginable: I have been accepted to Humber College in Toronto [Ontario] to be a full time student [starting in September 2017] to study Mortuary Science/Funeral Studies. While I am beyond excited for this, there comes a catch.. and I am about 99.99% sure you know what I am about to say: Suddenly, everything becomes even more busy, and because of this, I have absolutely no time for warrenisweird.

sgp9czr

[an accurate representation of both sides of my brain]

Let’s reflect for a moment: when I started warrenisweird, it was always meant to be a hobby: a if you will – place to talk about my feelings towards upcoming horror films [which I still and always will have a passion for] and movie reviews in my spare time. That last part is probably the most important part of the sentence – “in my spare time.” Little by little, I became more and more busy in my personal life, be it with work, application struggles or even just finding time to spend with my Wife. Because of this, I had no choice but to put this blog aside for a while.. Until “a while” became weeks, which felt like months. Now, especially if I am going to school in September, most of – if not all – my time and dedicated “free time” is to my education and ultimately; my future. Even after I finish the in-class portion of my schooling, I have a 5-6 day Internship [which lasts a year] before I change into that Fully Licensed Funeral Director I have been striving to become. What I am trying to say is that even after I am done school, I still would have little to no time to write up a blog post. HOWEVER, there is a silver lining to all this negativity..if can you believe it.

Although I may not have as much time to write on here, that does not mean that I am never going to write on here again – I plan on keeping the URL name [warrenisweird will forever be my namesake] and I will do my best to find time to post once and a while, there just might be a few weeks between posts.. and sometimes, no posts in a month. Also, and I realize I have said this before and failed miserably, I plan on using my Medium account as an almost “Diary” of sorts; writing about my experiences in College and other exciting life events. [if you find yourself interested, please consider following me there] Also, if you have “liked” the Facebook Page for warrenisweird, I will always/still continue to share/post horror related content. That page is not going away either! If you are a fan of warrenisweird for the movie reviews I write, those are/will be found over on Letterboxd; so follow me there if you want my thoughts on movies! [and as always do not hesitate to recommend me something to watch! It does not have to be strictly horror!]

y4gtvxw

[Where I like to think we stand as a community]

To end this word spill on a sappy lovey-dovey note, I just want to say that I appreciate every one of you that took time out of your day to read/continue to read warrenisweird. This journey into the blogging world would never have happened if not for you guys! It truly means a lot to me that people actually give a crap about what I write on here, and even engage in conversation about it – even if they disagree with my post! I love debating movie theories, and explaining why I love a certain “bad film,” it’s what connects us as horror movie fans! At least I think so, anyway. You guys are the absolute BEST and I wouldn’t trade the feeling you gave me as a writer away for anything.

So now you know. This is why I tend to “disappear” from the blog for x-amount of days/weeks, what I am up to in my personal life, and what life has for me next. I hope that I have explained this well enough, and thank you all for understanding why I am choosing to not write on here as often as I once wished I could. [At least not nearly as frequently] The best way to look at this is it is not a final goodbye, it’s “I will see you around!” As always, if you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [we’re just over 195+ likes – let’s get it to the 200 mark!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird from the very moment it’s been “gone live” online and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog.

Seriously though, these past few years have been a blast and if I could, I would love to continue doing this gig. Being a small time hobby, it was never meant to be a long-term career [writing online as a full time job is one of the hardest things to get into! I strongly commend those that get to do it!] As I mentioned above, I’ve also been writing my movie reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch. As for my “Diary” posts? Follow me on Medium for updates on my life. These posts will be starting soon! I love you all, please do not hesitate to reach out to me through my contact page, which goes straight to my personal email. I try to reply to every one of them, so whether it’s a movie recommendation or a simple “thanks,” I can’t wait to hear from you!

As always,

nt9xohl

 

THANKS FOR READING.

Annoucement: something a little different — an update

If you’ve been following warrenisweird for awhile now, you probably have noticed that there’s one category of post that doesn’t come up as much as it used to: Journals. They used to be more frequent, and they used to be a ‘once and a while’ sort of thing, to keep you – the readers – up to date with what I have been up to outside of the blogging world. However, I hardly post these anymore; and they’re something that I feel doesn’t fit the general theme of my blog; even if it is about myself. So as an effort to use it more, and a way to steer away from that kind of post here, I plan on not posting any Journal posts on here anymore, though the ones I’ve already written; will remain..and the Journal posts will cease to exist. Or will they? What I mean by this is that, I’m not saying that I’ll never writing anything about myself and updates about myself again, I just mean that they won’t be featured on warrenisweird, and that’s where Medium comes in..

Medium works in a way that makes anyone feel like they’re an author of their own story, without the hassle of feeling like they need to build an audience in the blogging atmosphere [blogosphere?] It’s been called “a new place on the Internet where people share ideas and stories that are longer than 140 characters and not just for friends.” Which makes sense, since one of the co-founders of Twitter designed it. Although it’s a blogging platform designed for smaller stories that “make your day better and manifestos that change the world,” it has it’s way of helping you find the right audience for whatever you have to say. I think that’s what attracted me to it – I could say what I want, how I want, and whoever is interested; can read it. If not, they move on in their lives and it doesn’t affect them. Which, in turn, doesn’t affect me. It’s pretty great for that reason. Surprisingly, I’ve actually been on Medium for awhile now – check my profile here –  but I never ended up using it, since I’d tend to write elsewhere: whether Facebook or warrenisweird. Don’t think I’m going anywhere, because I’m definitely not; I’m just trying to say that warrenisweird is going to be strictly horror related posts now, and personal things – like what I’ve been up to outside of blogging – will be on Medium. With all that said and done , I just wanted to share this, I know it’s probably not the post you expected from me today, but here it is. I promise come the next post, it will be horror-related, but I just wanted to share this in case someone was wondering why there hasn’t been any Journals as of late. In fact, be sure to catch up on what I’ve been posting over on Medium by reading my most recent post, titled “A Twist Of Fate.” It’s essentially an update on one of the biggest things happening in my life right now, which has me both excited and nervous. [but also, something that’s been a long time coming]

Also, if find yourself to enjoy what I do here – whether it’s updates like this or movie reviews/news – please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes – only a few more and we’ll have reached over 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

JOURNAL #8: “NEW beginnings and BROADER horizons” | NOT HORROR RELATED

[NOT the actual funeral home I will be working for*]

Guys, we need to talk.. seriously. This is something important, and it’s only fair that I share it with you – take it with a grain of salt, because it’s going to take me some getting used to as well. Prepare for what will feel like a wall of text.. cause a storm of words is coming – but it’s all positive, I swear!


If you follow me on Facebook, you probably saw a status talking about how something serious was going on in my life. In fact, it must be something extreme, because I’m writing my first Journal post in a while, as in first time since January! [I’ll admit, I’m not always up for writing about my daily life, or else this “blog” would have made more sense to have been a “vlog”] In that last Journal, titled “new home, new job & new beginnings“, I talked about how I hadn’t been working in a funeral home for quite some time, and how I became a stock clerk for Stephanie‘s work. Between that post and now, I’ve actually worked for a company that does almost exactly what the first funeral company did – to quote my last Journal – I am one of the employees who goes to the place of death, retrieves the body, and then finally; brings the deceased to the proper funeral home that the family has decided on.. It’s a job that I absolutely love, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world…anything except what I’m about to mention ~

[very] Shortly after Stephanie and I’s wedding [July 03, 2015!] we starting talking about the future; like any married couple would, and we came to the conclusion that she doesn’t want to work as a cashier her whole life, and I – while doing “removals” for the funeral company – can’t make a decent paycheck just doing the “pick-ups”. Flash forward a few weeks after this, and we decided that we’re saving up for College.. In Toronto. [we’re currently in Ottawa] The reason for Toronto being that the course she wants [Pharmacy Technician] and the one I want [Funeral Services – to become a LICENSED FUNERAL DIRECTOR] are at a College in Toronto, rather than here. [the Funeral Services course is only in Toronto in all of Ontario] So besides saving money, Stephanie is planning on going to the City’s adult high school in September [to ‘upgrade’ her sciences and maths] and I had been trying to find something a little more stable. [the ‘removal company’ I work for is an “on call” basis – meaning that if there is no calls, I don’t get paid for that “shift”..therefore, making it hard to save money for school, rent, etc]

Now, if you had read that last sentence carefully, you’d have noticed I said “I had been trying to find something a little more stable”. I say “had” because I found something – and it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while.When I looked into the Funeral Services course, I noticed that a prerequisite was to “work in a funeral home environment”. While doing removals sounds like it counts, the truth is that it doesn’t: I would need to work in an actual funeral home. I know this sounds like a lot of build up, but there’s a reason for it, I promise!

[NOTE: this is NOT the hearse from the companies I work[ed] for! Just a standard one I found on Google Images]

To make a long story short, as of yesterday morning, I officially got a job at a Funeral Home. I won’t say which one or even where it’s located; but the fact is, that I’m going to be working in an actual Funeral Home. This means, I won’t be doing just the removals, but rather: working on services, cleaning the vehicles, cleaning inside the funeral home, doing some [not as many] removals, among other jobs! It’s a job I had wanted for a long time; ever since I learned about the field through [a] – my now favorite – TV show: Six Feet Under.

Of course, this raises one real question: why am I bringing this up? Am I excited? [yes!]  Am I trying to show off to the world around me? [Absolutely Not] No, the real reason I bring this up, is because something different is going to happen on warrenisweird; even if it doesn’t seem like it right away. See; the thing is, when I was working “on call”, meaning I stayed home until my phone rang to go out on a ‘call’, [if it even did, some days were slow – like any job] so I had time to write something up on here during my down time, or even prepare a post and then save the draft and continue when I got home. It was a good system that just “worked”. However, with this new job, I suddenly have full time hours: 08:30am to 05:00pm almost every day of the week. Naturally, this means that the posts I usually publish in the morning, is no longer an option.. Now, I’m not saying that warrenisweird and these posts are gone for good, [I’m not going anywhere] but rather – posts will be ‘posted’ later during the day. For example – when I get to one – a standard Friday Fun Fact post usually is posted in the morning around 10am.. Now, with this new job, there will still be a post that day, or whenever; but probably not until 7pm or later. Same with horror news, or movie reviews, or any post. It’s not that I won’t be posting them, it’s just that they’ll be Published at a later time frame than I’m used to posting.

So that’s my “news” of the day: I finally can say that I have a job that I am excited to work for, more than anything I’ve ever done: A job where I feel special – important even. It’s something that I never knew that I could be so proud of: that I had/have become someone who feels legitimately helpful to someone in their time of need. And, most importantly, I want to thank you – the reader[s] of warrenisweird – You’re all so great, what with your support, and your love. You’re all the reason I’m doing this, and although posts will be published later in the day from now on, I’m glad to know there’s people who are still willing to read my thoughts on horror movies – even though I may come off as someone who’s just blabbing on, and on, and on. As always, if you have any sort of recommendation, or a comment, or a concern; just send me a message on my Contact page, or if you’d prefer: on the warrenisweird Facebook page. Thanks for listening, but most of all:

THANKS FOR READING.

[God, I just love this show so much..]

JOURNAL #7: “new home, new job & new beginnings.”

JOURNAL7These past few months, I’ve been hiding something from you readers. It’s nothing super important, but I feel like it’s important that I share my little secret with you. It’s something only family and close friends were aware of, [so if you fit into one of those two categories, you know what I’m about to mention] So here it is. deep breath ~

For those of you that have been with Me on warrenisweird since the beginning know that I work at a funeral home: Acting as one of the guys who goes to the place of death, retrieves the body, and then finally; bring it to the proper funeral home that the family has decided on. Except that isn’t entirely true. At least not entirely true for the past 3 months.

The thing is [without going into a terrible amount of detail] that I hadn’t worked there since roughly October 2014. A few things had happened, especially during the slow-ish time of the year, which resulted in me no longer working there. [by no decision of mine] Since then, I began working in a retail store’s stock room. [oddly enough, at Stephanie‘s work] constantly thinking of the past year and everything I had learned working for a funeral home, I quickly came to realize just how much I missed it. Doing this funeral job, I felt special – important even. I had never felt that proud of something I had become: someone who feels legitimately helpful to someone in their time of need. In the stock room, I felt like just someone who has to get the super-pricey coffee machines for some rich person. I was pretty well “anyone”. I appreciate the fact that I had a chance to work there, at least so I had some kind of income, but I didn’t feel right – like I didn’t belong. Naturally, I chose to continue to look into other funeral home jobs – especially with my now new-found experience from before.

while this is obviously not the exact one: the morgue was a place I visited frequently at the hospital[s].

Eventually I came across a company [whom I won’t mention by name for obvious reasons] who actually does what I was doing before – except they had been doing it for a longer period of time. I talked with the man in charge numerous times through email, telephone, and even texting back and forth once or twice: and eventually, we set up an interview. [which happened last week] I had felt that it had gone really well.. and for good reason – because as of this Saturday: I start doing what I was doing for that last year: picking up deceased bodies, and bringing them to their respective funeral homes – and I’m so glad to be back in a business that made me feel so important to the world. Again, this news isn’t something super special, but I wanted to share it with what I consider almost my “blog-family” – It’s almost like a weight is lifted, y’know?

Another important thing to quickly bring up is that next weekend, Stephanie and I are moving into a new place. The apartment right now is littered with a fuck-ton of boxes, and it’s only bound to become more crowded. Thankfully, the new place isn’t far from where we are now, but reason this news is so important is because until we’re settled in, I won’t have access to the Internet. Therefore, there may be a slight delay in posts on warrenisweird. [boooo!] I plan to have quite a few queued posts set up so when I do get the Internet back up and running, I can quickly post a dozen posts: at least to make up for the gap from when I couldn’t before..

So there’s a quick update in the life of Warren.[isweird]  From moving, to new jobs; life is about to get super hectic, and I wanted to give a quick warning about the upcoming lack of posts. The very last thing I want to say is a huge shout out to all of you readers! [even you, weird guy who sits in the back on his phone all the damn time! Oh wait..that’s me] Because of your love, and your dedication to that “follow” button, warrenisweird now has over 100 followers on WordPress! Seriously, it means a ton knowing that people care enough about the incessant crap I talk about. Thank you so much, everyone! [keep smashing those “like” buttons and that follow button!]  New stuff is coming soon to warrenisweird [after the move no less] so stay tuned for updates! [and stay weird!]

If you’re not already, be sure to follow warrenisweird on Facebook too, where I post exclusive pictures, links, and videos not found on the website!

100+followers+warrenisweird+EvilDead

seriously. I cannot stress my love for you all. Thanks for everything!

THANKS FOR READING.

JOURNAL #6: “something you should probably know..”

20140913-164913.jpg

[where the hell has Warren been?!]

those readers who have been with warrenisweird since the beginning know I work in a funeral home [full time.] I usually work long shifts, such as 12pm to 8pm and then on call overnight until 8 the following morning..only to work again at 12pm and then rinse, wash and repeat the process. With Summer being pretty well over, leading into Fall; the next coming months are no different in my work schedule.. except maybe a bit. See, the thing is — a lot of the guys I, personally, work with are younger [about my age, so mid twenties] who are still in college/university; unlike me. I’m not in school; at least not at this exact moment in my life.

Therefore, since it’s now [officially] September – I’ve become the regular working stiff at my job. [since the others are back to classrooms and homework] I went from my casual shifts [such as three to four shifts a week] to almost all the time! Since the last week of August, I’ve been working almost every single day: Monday to Friday. Of course, this is what I wanted when I was looking for the job; I wanted full time hours. I’m just not used to it yet. Even this week, on days I was supposed to be off, I was requested to work — which is by no means a problem to me. naturally, I gladly accepted.

So why does all this matter? Why am I talking about something that doesn’t involve anyone but myself? Am I just complaining about work? Of course not — that’s not my intention. I’m sharing this with you, dear reader[s] because if anything, it might affect my writing here, on warrenisweird. Now, I am not saying that I am done blogging. No, abso-fucking-lutely not. This is one of my favorite things to do in my spare time, but that’s exactly it: spare time. because I’m working so much lately, I can’t exactly post as frequently as I was in early August. I promise, I have a fuck-ton of ideas saved in my writing book for new posts; it’s just a matter of having time to type them up..

Thankfully, my week slows down a bit this week coming as I only work three days [as opposed to my five to seven, lately!] giving me some down time from work to write up tons to fill in the spaces I’ve missed through-out these past few days. again, do not expect warrenisweird to go anywhere, anytime soon — this is my happy place and wouldn’t give it up for the world; Which brings me to my final point..

warrenisweird officially has over 50 followers on here [Wordpress] and 50 more on Facebook! I never thought so many people would care so strongly about the things I had to say about films — I was always the weird [get it? Warren is weird? ..forget it. I thought it was funny] kid who talked about stupid things no one cared about. I sincerely thank you, you guys all fucking rock and I’d give you all a huge hug if I could. It means a fucking ton, and I love you all. My next post after this one will be up by Monday morning since I’m technically on call right now and am working tomorrow during the day [and of course, overnight] as well.

be sure to like warrenisweird on Facebook, on Tumblr, and my personal Twitter account for all sorts of weird, obscure fun!

stay weird, and THANKS FOR READING.

JOURNAL #5: “learning why Spider-Man will always be my hero.”

I’ve mentioned it before but Spider-Man is my favorite superhero – He has been since I was five years old. I’ve watched all the movies, I read the comics, and yes I even love the 1967 Spider-Man cartoon. [I have the whole series on DVD!]  just watching him swing around, beat up bad guys, and make terrible jokes has made me into the person I am now. Last night however, I had the pleasure in [finally] watching The Amazing Spider-Man 2  and it got me thinking, why else do I like this character? I thought about it long and hard, and have come to some conclusions why I would choose Spidey over the likes of Superman or Batman any day. Please be aware – this post will have spoilers for the Spider-Man movies, comic books, and the character in general. Otherwise, if you’re okay with spoilers and other super hero stuff, read on!

lemme lay it down for you

like many of my favorite characters, Spider-Man is extremely fallible. I mean, sure – he has super powers [does whatever a Spider can], and he has the smarts; but ultimately – Peter Parker [depending on what form of Spider-Man you read/watch] is just a kid. He’s been Spider-Man since he was a young teen, and has grown both as a hero and a person. He’s not like Iron Man or Batman in the sense that he doesn’t have a ton of money [before being hired by Tony Stark – in the comics – he just took pictures of himself as Spider-Man and sent them to The Daily Bugle for some cash] or really – anyone.

Peter Parker has gone through a lot – both as Spider-Man and Peter Parker. from losing [more than one of] his loved ones [his parents, Uncle Ben, Gwen, etc], to feeling lost, to losing himself to the dark of his mind [read the venom symbiote story-arc], to even dying.. more than once too! It shows that even as a young man, he can push through the hardest of situations: and for that, I applaud you.

There’s also the most important part of him, which is what I take from him most: his humor. As we all know, Peter Parker – before the Spider-Man days – was a nerd. he had next to no friends, no one acknowledged him other than his family [Aunt May/Uncle Ben] and they always told him he was more than enough for anyone. When he became Spider-Man, it’s almost as if through becoming a hero, he became someone new. He jokes [almost insults] with villains while he battles them, even when he’s at the brink of death, he still makes time to make a joke out of things [SPOILER: like in Amazing Spider-Man 2, when Electro knocks him down and he’s clearly dying and his first words are “I hate this song”]

It’s through this humor [I like to believe anyway] that he manages to push through the bad, and turn it into something good. [which is something I do all the time, thanks to The Web-Head] even if he helps tons of people, he still lets Uncle Ben/Gwen Stacy’s death linger over his head – but somehow he manages to push forward, hoping one day – he can make it up to them. It’s reasons like this he left The Fantastic Four and quit The New Avengers – the more he cares about someone, the more likely they will die. No doubt he’s bound to blame himself.

In the end though, Spider-Man is still [swinging] around, but it’s not Peter Parker; not anymore. [he died in issue 700] we now have a new Spider-Man, who is none other than Miles Morales – who Peter actually gave his blessing to.  [see Miles’ costume above] I haven’t read any of the Morales time-line but at some point [hopefully soon] I plan to, because although I grew up with Peter Parker, I will gladly accept a new Spider-Man who has been passed the torch by Parker himself.

In all seriousness though, I want to thank you Spider-Man for being my hero. You’ve made me into the man I am today: making me live by the famous words of Uncle Ben: ‘With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility”, and without you – I would never have become the person I am now. I may not have super powers, but through your life and your hardships, I’ve learned to be a better person – and to be strong even in the hardest of times.

THANK-YOU.

welcome home. [RIP]

 

THANKS FOR READING.

with great power, comes great responsibility.

JOURNAL #4: “to whom it may concern.”

[I used a blank face because this post isn’t towards anyone I wish to mention by name: plus LEGO is awesome]

If I’ve learned one thing in my 22 years of living on this Earth, it’s that people will always come and go in our lives. It’s human nature to want something more than what we have already. It’s just part of our ‘coding’. this could mean anything from moving to a new city to a new job.. Of course — this usually means there’s always a possibility of people moving out of our lives.

I feel like I will never truly understand the idea of people just deciding that they are ‘no longer friends’. how do you just suddenly realize that you don’t like someone as a friend anymore? Maybe I’m touchy on the subject because I have had it happen a lot in recent years. I’ve had it happen a dozen times. I’m sure everyone has had this happen, at least once or twice in their life. be it from an argument or the friend wasn’t really “mine in the first place”, [more on that one in a bit] the feeling isn’t great — in fact sometimes, it affects you more than you thought it initially would!

20140818-083707.jpgAbove, I mentioned about sometimes the ‘friend’ wasn’t really yours to begin with, and as much as it sucks to hear it; it’s true. here’s what I meant — have you ever dated someone for a long time, but then had it abruptly end? then, when it does end, everyone you met through that person suddenly acts like you don’t fucking exist. It’s frustrating, it’s upsetting, and [most of all] it’s dumb to know that people think this way is the ‘right’ way of solving problems.

It’s not all bad though — like all clouds with a silver lining, there’s a positive behind this way of thinking: by losing the ‘fake friends’, you actually learn who your real friends are; they’re the ones who stuck by you the whole time.. and I think that’s just one of the greatest things in life.

So before you just jump to a conclusion and assume you have no friends because they all ‘left’ you, think of it like this: maybe they were meant to leave.. to make room for new friends. I had to learn this the hard way and hope no one ever has to go through the pain of fighting with friends.. at least to the degree of losing them. As for the friends you have now, fight for them — you deserve them just as much as anyone; don’t believe otherwise.

This post started as a way to vent about a guy quitting at work whom I didn’t really like when I started, but we slowly became friends over time. When we actually became friends, was when he gave his 2weeks. Although we won’t be working together, shouldn’t mean we can’t still be friends. I then lead into some personal things, but sometimes – that’s not a bad thing. It’s good to let you’re feelings out once in a while, be it to a Councillor, a friend, or even through a blog! [just another thing I learned the hard way!]

Now, I really need to go get ready. I’m actually meeting up with a friend at Noon today.. and after a long [but really slow] weekend — My body feels gross!

[hey look! it’s me on the far left! with 2 of the best friends a guy could ask for — I’ve known them for over 10 years!]

THANKS FOR READING.

JOURNAL #3: “growing up within the silence.”

20140804-215944.jpg
something else I should have added to my ‘five things about the author‘ post is the fact that English is actually not my first language — but actually, ASL [American Sign Language]. By this, I actually mean that my parents are both deaf. Growing up with two deaf parents made life really quiet, and maybe just my experience with deaf-ness, but I did not enjoy the silence I grew up around. [I still don’t like the quiet now, except on rare occasions] Now before you start saying things like “that’s so cool! I want to learn ASL!” — please know that I actually used to be upset by it. [allow me to delve deeper into my childhood of silence to explain what I mean]


As a child, [as I’ve said a bunch before] I was made fun of [in grade school], and one of the reasons was ‘because my parents are deaf’ — making me ‘different than everyone else’. I would constantly wish for the deaf-ness to spontaneously disappear, to make me ‘appear normal’ to others. Unfortunately, it didn’t; and I was still made fun of.

To make this post happier than the above was with the bullying comments, etc — Stephanie actually thinks it’s the coolest thing ever, and so do some of my friends! I also don’t wish for my parents to be different any more, I love them the way they are. At most, I just wish there wasn’t such a stigma towards the deaf: so many people judge what they don’t understand, and that’s just fucking stupid. So please, as someone who grew up around two of them, don’t just jump to conclusions and judge the deaf — or rather, don’t judge what you don’t understand.. Makes us as human beings look bad. If you still can’t do that, at least keep your thoughts to yourself; people don’t need the hate. I don’t mean to rant, I really don’t.. Just expressing my thoughts in this Journal entry. stay tuned for tomorrow’s post which will be a new ‘film study’. This time, about cult films and cult cinema!


Also, I just want to make a quick note and thank the readers of warrenisweird, I didn’t ever think that people actually liked to hear my thoughts on various things [I guess I figured I was annoying ahah!] but even after a week of starting this blog, I have a bunch more followers than I ever thought – and it keeps growing! This sincerely means the world to me 🙂 be sure to tell your family and friends, and as always;

THANKS FOR READING.

 

JOURNAL #2: “you can’t take a picture of this: it’s already gone.”

because clocks and spirals mean ‘time travel’, right?

If you could go back in time to when you were 8 years old to have a conversation with yourself – what would you say? What could you say? Would you tell yourself what kind of job you’re doing now? Or maybe even talk about what inspires you as a person. I constantly find myself toying with the idea of talking to my former/younger self, just to see what kind of person I was. I feel like I would probably tell myself that “things will get better” or even “that girl you’re going to meet in 6 years? yeah, she isn’t worth getting upset over – remember, time heals everything.” But consider this, what if you could, right now, go back in time: would you do it? Where would you take ‘yourself’ to sit and talk: a coffee shop? or even a fancy restaurant to show how rich you’ve become over the years?

https://i0.wp.com/images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/662/overrides/why-time-travel-is-impossible_66207_600x450.jpg

I can only assume this would be my ride to 14 years ago [when I was 8]

I would also bring up the fact that I should let the bullies get me down, because I don’t deserve that kind of pain: especially the way it made me feel. [kids are mean, I can attest to that.] It would probably freak me out too, I mean – I freaked out watching SIGNS..y’know, that Mel Gibson movie with the aliens. anyway, moving on. I don’t know what it was that inspired me to think of this, but apparently I’ve been thinking about for a while now.. It really doesn’t help that I’ve been watching more and more science fiction films lately. I blame Stephanie for this because we [finally] watched Star Trek: Into Darkness and has been all Sci-Fi crazy lately..


Unfortunately, unless I missed a huge breakthrough in science [or I just wasn’t paying that much attention in Science Class in high school] It seems we’re not going back in time, judging by this article on Discovery‘s website. In the end though, it’s still fun to imagine what I would talk about or what I would think if I saw myself as a kid – seeing pictures is weird enough.

So what about you? If you could go back in time and see yourself as a kid, what would you talk about: the weather? how technology has changed? Or more importantly, if you could go back in time to see your younger self, would you do it? let me know in a comment or two. Be sure to join me on my next post which should be written and uploaded by tonight at the latest.

THANKS FOR READING.

JOURNAL #1: “it’s not the dead ones you should worry about..”

of course I used a picture from Six Feet Under here.

last week, I had a friend come to Ottawa from out of town. Every so often during his visit, he’d asked me how I ‘deal’ with being around DEATH all the time [see point 3 in my ’05 things about the author!’ for details of what I mean] I really hadn’t really thought about it until he brought the point up.. so without further ado, here is my first Journal entry about just that: “how I deal with being around DEATH


[NOTE: I can not go fully into detail for fear of disrespecting a family. plus, I’m under contract saying I won’t]

for starters, I’ve come to learn a lot about myself: I’ve learned that I’m stronger — mentally and physically — than I ever thought I was, and that life is every bit as precious as your elders tell you it is. seriously.

Secondly, I’ve come to realize [but only after the first few months] that I have developed an almost ‘switch’ in my brain that allows me to ‘switch off my emotions’ .. which is why I don’t find myself breaking down whenever I get a call to go to a car crash, suicide or younger adult deaths — it’s simply become: ‘part of the job’.


the final part that’s worth mentioning is the families. [say, if I had to go to the family home of the deceased, or something similar] though this is second nature now, when I first started; I was terrified to enter someone’s home, even if they knew my partner and I were coming: [especially because of the reason of being there is to ‘remove’ their [[now deceased]] family member] I’ve even had families give me trouble because of the fact that I’m 22 years old, saying things like “I’m too young to be doing this line of work” or that “they would rather someone else do the removal”. Other families are just plain rude, but since they just lost a loved one — I’ll let it slide.


In the end, I think of it as just a job that someone has to do — it just happens to be me. I’ve seen a good amount of DEATH over this past year: from car crashes to suicides, I have learned a lot about myself. and for that, I’m forever thankful. to end this Journal entry, I want to leave you with a thought: life is so damn precious that you shouldn’t just ‘give up’. regardless of what you’re going through, I promise it will get better. If you ever need someone to talk to: I’m sure family, friends, even I, am willing to talk to help you through whatever the situation may be. Never give up hope: life is worth the risk. So don’t be afraid to take it.

THANKS FOR READING.