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WARRENISWEIRD’s Top 05 SCARIEST “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” Episodes

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If you follow warrenisweird on Facebook, [which if you don’t, you definitely should] you probably saw this post referencing a TV show from my [very scarred] childhood: Are You Afraid Of The Dark? Along with shows like Tales From The Cryptkeeper and Goosebumps, this was a show that I used to watch almost religiously, even though it would give me indefinite nightmares after every episode. By sharing that one video clip on Facebook, I started to remember just how terrifying Are You Afraid Of The Dark? really was, especially for something that was marketed towards kids who were just getting into horror such as myself. I decided [against my better judgement] to delve back into the show and dig up past nightmares and make a list of my top 05 episodes [in no particular order] that I would argue are the scariest from my childhood, and to some degree, still are! As you can expect, spoilers will be involved with every submission below, so tread lightly if you are worried about finding out the “twist!”


Submitted For The Approval Of The Midnight Society, I call this story: WARRENISWEIRD’s TOP 05 SCARIEST “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” EPISODES


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“The Tale Of The Captured Souls” [Season 01]

Starting off with the “not so scary,” we have an episode from early in the series that follows Danielle and her family’s lakeside vacation that [almost] goes dead wrong! When Danielle and her family arrive for their holidays, they meet a strange man by the name of Peter: the abnormal [and young] inn keeper. The inn itself is also strange, covered with mirrors that shock whoever touches them because of, as Peter says, “old wiring.” [Because everyone knows that mirrors are usually wired, right?] During their stay, Danielle and her family begin to feel drained, and notice more than a couple new grey hairs growing on their heads. Eventually, we learn that the [wired] mirrors from before are actually part of a more elaborate plan to drain the inn’s guests of their souls, which will effectively keep Peter forever young. What doesn’t help is when Danielle stumbles upon Peter’s “graveyard” – a place where he keeps a collection of all the souls he’s stolen over the years. After Danielle discovers that Peter is behind everything after discovering his “soul-sucking lab.” Peter offers a truce: he will give Danielle the chance to join him in his quest for eternal youth. As expected, she instead destroys his bizarre science project; which ends with him becoming an old and ancient man, saving her parents from having their souls taken.


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“The Tale Of The Super Specs” [Season 01]

If you were a big enough fan of the series, you probably remember Sardo’s Magic Shop. It was a plot point of many of the “Tales” that revolved a “magic/mystical item.” While a lot of the items were unique – and sometimes terrifying – none of Sardo’s “tools” were as traumatizing as his “Super Specs.” That’s where this episode comes in. While wearing the Super Specs, Mary Beth is given the ability to see things that aren’t really there. These “things” can range from a tea kettle whistling on the stove to figures cloaked in black. Soon enough, she learns that these specs have been cursed with a “second sight,” which opens a window into an alternate dimension. After explaining the situation to Sardo, he agrees to help Mary Beth clear her home of these dark visions, but his lack of experience in magic [irony?] ends up causing a “cosmic imbalance” which grants the [dark] creatures full access to our world. What makes this episode so scary is that it ends with our hero’s demise, which if I’m honest, is a lot to take in for a kid.


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“The Tale Of The Ghastly Grinner” [Season 04]

If you have been a follower of warrenisweird for a while now – or you know me in real life – you are probably aware that I have an irrational fear of clowns. This particular Tale did not help that cause.. In the picture above, you are looking into the eyes of this entry’s villain, The Ghastly Grinner: an evil comic book character bent on making life for a young boy [Ethan] a living hell. Like most days in the early 1990s, it all started when our “hero” went to the opening of a new comic book store in town. [back when the days were easier] The store’s owners offered him a “one-of-a-kind” comic which featured the monstrosity above, who causes people to laugh uncontrollably and spit up blue goo.. [Gross! Why Nickelodeon?!] Before putting his new [and rare] collector’s item with the rest of his comic book memorabilia, Ethan accidentally spills a glass of water on it. Instead of cleaning the mess up like a normal human would, he decides to microwave the comic book.. because, of course he does. Bad news for Ethan though, because the radiation [somehow] brings the comic book villain to life! After The Ghastly Grinner starts freaking people out all over town – including a young Warren who cannot look away from the TV – Ethan decides [responsibly] to take matters into his own hands by creating a new comic book; in order to defeat The Grinner. Somehow though, he manages to get trapped inside the comic, thus bringing him face to face with the gut-busting villain.. Although this episode is more silly than anything, The Grinner himself scarred me like any – and every – clown before him. That reason alone earns it a spot on this list.


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“The Tale Of The Dead Man’s Float” [Season 05]

Oh yes, that episode. The one from what I shared on Facebook. [see beginning of post] This Tale centers around Zeke, a geeky teenager who yearns to get close to a girl by the name of Clorice, [wait! Is that a chlorine pun?!] the super-cute captain of the swim team. In exchange for helping with her chemistry homework, she decides to give him swimming lessons. [definitely a fair trade as far as I am concerned!] Naturally, Zeke is eager to impress her, he takes her to their school’s abandoned swimming pool [which, for plot reasons, is mysteriously still filled with water] to begin his “lessons.” But this specific pool has been hidden for a good reason: It was built on top of an old graveyard, and now the spirits are angrier than ever! That’s when we meet the zombie/skeleton hybrid above. Don’t worry though, because in the end, Zeke uses his super-chemistry skills/nerdiness to defeat the evil skel-zombie, he gets the girl, and even learns how to doggie paddle!


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“The Tale Of Laughing In The Dark” [Season 1]

ANOTHER CLOWN! And worst of all, this is the episode I remember the most! [it’s also only the second in the show’s history] This final Tale takes us back the Great Depression, when a scheming Zeebo The Clown decides to steal some cash from the carnival’s payroll. While on the run, he hides in the fun-house, which proved to be a mistake as he then accidentally burns it [and himself] to the ground with his cigar ash. Years later, the carnival rebuilds the fun-house, placing a dummy of Zeebo inside as a memorial to the clown who died inside [reminder, the guy robbed them! ..I don’t get that logic either] Flash forward to the 1990s,when a little punk of a kid named Josh decides to swipe the Zeebo dummy’s nose as a way to prove he isn’t afraid of his town’s local legend: the fun-house is haunted. But he should be. Because soon he is visited by the ghost of Zeebo, who begins terrorizing Josh at home, at school, and even making threatening phone calls. On a happier[?] note, The clown got his nose back at the end of the episode. However, a clown who laughs in the dark is no friend of mine!


Of course there are so many other episodes I could have covered in this list – 91 episodes total – that I probably forgot some of the more important ones! Which episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark? scared You the most? If you liked this post, let me know in the comments below! [In the future, I may just do a Goosebumps version of this list!] As always, if you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [we’re at over 180+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog.

Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! I’ve also been writing way more reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch  – with each review [usually] coming the very next day after viewing! Are you interested yet? Check me out over there and click that “follow” button! I’m just bound to follow you back because I like reading other people’s thoughts on film, as well as writing reviews myself!

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THANKS FOR READING.

warrenisweird’s TOP 05 horror inspired tattoos

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Unless you know me outside of the blogosphere [is that even still a word?] chances are that you’re aware that one thing I find fascinating is tattoos. I always have, ever since I was a kid and seeing the black panther on my Grandfather’s arm from his Navy days and thinking “heck, that’s so cool!”  I even have my own, it’s a heart on my wrist with the Japanese Kanjii for ‘love’ inside it. [kind of like this but invert the colors!] One thing that comes off as pretty common amongst tattoo fans are skulls, roses, and other fun things [even Grim Reapers for those cool kids!] but what about the horror fans of the world? Surely they have something special inked into their skin permanently , right? After doing some searching online, [which isn’t as difficult as I make it seem] I found a ton of people have horror inspired tats, and while not all are perfect, I figured I’d share my top 05 favorites that I found. I even managed to figure out some of the artists of the respective tattoo. Remember though: if you want a tattoo, make sure you really want it – these things are permanent. Now, let’s look at some of these pieces of art inspired by some of our favorite movies!

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Remember the Re-Animator? Apparently this fan does, so much so that he got a piece that reminds us that even this cat’s nine lives would run out eventually.. or would they?

[artist: Jackie RabbitSource]

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Arguably one of the more famous horror films of the 80s, Hellraiser got itself more than just a fan [of flesh and blood!] when someone got Pinhead permanently added to their skin!

[artist: Ryan BurkeSource]

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Often considered the best vampire film ever made, Nosferatu looks pretty damn impressive in this piece.. Even better when you realize that it was a cover up tattoo!

[artist: Adi Earl – Source]

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Seems to me that this individual prefers their horror in black and white! With artwork from Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, Bride Of Frankenstein, The Invisible Man, Dracula, The Phantom Of The Opera and [much] more!

[artist: Chrisx Bren – Source]

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as someone who despises clowns, this tattoo which clearly channels Pennywise from It definitely reminds me why I have that very specific fear. It’s eerily life-like and it makes my skin crawl..no pun intended.

[artist: Mez Love – Source]


With the way tattoos seem to be evolving every day, it goes to show that there’s more that one way to remind a horror fan of who/what is their favorite film/villain. Obviously, these are just some of my favorites that I hand picked specifically for this post, while there are still thousands of different styles/artists. So now I turn to you: would you ever get a tattoo of something from a horror movie? What would it be of? Of course, this is assuming you don’t already! If you do have one, please share it in the comments! I’d love to see what people have, and we could compare with one another! I would totally get an Ash from The Evil Dead done on myself…if I had the time and money available.

Also, being as it’s 2016 [somehow..that came quick!] I may find myself extremely busy in the upcoming month [more so come February] so if I come off as MIA, please don’t take it that I’m disappearing for good, [I’m definitely not there’s just some things going on that I’m planning ahead for, [which I’ll talk about when the time is right] and requires my time more at this exact moment in time. As always though, if you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 130+ likes – only a few more and we’ll have reached over 150!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

warrenisweird’s top 05 movies SEEN in 2015

TOP052015

After a long week, I’ve finally complied a list of my top 05 favorite films of 2015. It was a long year, wasn’t it? Tons of movies got released, and I saw..surprisingly, not a lot of them. For this reason, this list is going to be a little different: although I’m calling it my favorite of the year, I’m going to be posting movies I’ve seen this year. By this, I mean if a movie came out in 2014, which most of the films on this list are, but I saw it this year for the first time – it counts for this list. I mean, it’s my list..I can do what I want. So here we go, my top 05 movies that I saw in 2015, in no particular order. Be prepared though: not all of them are horror! [gasp!]

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#01: Birdman [The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance]

What makes this movie so great is that it’s clearly a satirical look at Hollywood and the constant need to remain relevant in the entertainment industry. I will admit that the film does feel “artsy” in places, but if you want to get technical, some Hollywood actors love being unnecessarily artsy – they think it gives them depth. That was the entire point of this film, for Hollywood to turn the camera on itself and expose all of it’s own problems. [also, as proven in the film, Emma Stone is still a babe]

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#02: WolfCop

I remember first getting an email about this movie before it was released and being both excited but skeptical, and for good reason. While it’s not a terrible film per-se, it’s not exactly “good” either. Still, it seems to use practical effects – which is nice – and it feels like an older B-Movie and the humor is good – at least at times – It just feels like ..weird. I will admit however, it being an original concept earns it points in my book! I’m eagerly awaiting WolfCop II [did I mention that these films are Canadian?!]

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#03: It Follows

I ranted about It Follows a lot when it first came out, calling it the most unsettling film in a long time. It’s absolutely nuts and deserves the praise it got when it was first released. It’s not so much horror – as it’s not scary – more suspenseful-ly unsettling: every camera shot, every view from Jay, watching the film makes you feel involved – like no matter what you do: you’re trapped in this world of evil. **Be sure to check this one out if you like suspense.

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#04: Tusk

I actually saw this one in theaters! After putting it off for the longest time — I finally got the chance to see Kevin Smith‘s newest horror film.. the film that wasn’t at all what I expected; which can be considered a good [and a bad] thing. Please be aware, this film isn’t for everyone, but..I enjoyed it. It’s weird, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s just plain strange.

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#05: The Babadook

I waited a long time for this to hit Netflix, but when it did, I finally took advantage of seeing it – and it was worth every second. It’s an Australian film that doesn’t skip out on the scares. It has hauntingly beautiful cinematography, it’s really well acted, and even a little bit sad in it’s own right. After hearing so much positivity about it, I was begging for it to be as good as I was living it up to be – and it was! It’s not just cheap jump scares, it’s pure brilliance!


Obviously, there was a ton of movies I could have included in this list, including Mad Max: Fury Road, Gone Girl, and The Grand Budapest Hotel; but the fact is simple.. the list would go on forever. Thankfully, these are just 05 of the films I enjoyed most this year. I know I’ve been a bit MIA lately, but I swear there’s a reason for this. A lot is happening lately, and things are only going to get busier come 2016 [which I’ll explain more as the year continues] I hope you’ll all have an awesome holiday with family and friends! What were your favorite films of 2015? Did they make the list? Let me know in a comment or two!

If you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 128+ likes – only a few more and we’ll have reached over 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

warrenisweird’s 05 SCARIEST scenes in the STAR WARS franchise

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Although my first love is horror, sometimes I’ll watch something involving superheroes, or science fiction. One series in particular [which is one of, if not my, favorite] has been there for me for as long as I can remember: Star Wars. I remember it being something that left me in awe and inspiration as one of my strongest influences in watching the ultimate ‘good VS evil’ trope on screen. Although I absolutely love the series of films now, I actually wasn’t a fan at first: when I first watched The Phantom Menace, I was bored and wanted it to end, though this might be because it’s part of the prequels.. Now, more versed in the world of Star Wars, I can healthily say that it’s my favorite series outside of horror, and even though this IS a horror blog – we’re switching it up for today..kind of.

For a sci-fi series, you have to admit: a lot of people lost their lives in the Star Wars films. Others lived, but with serious injuries. So, With The Force Awakens coming to us faster than The Millennium Falcon doing the Kessel Run sequence in A New Hope, let’s delve into The Dark Side of the series and look at my five scariest/goriest moments in the Star Wars film-universe. Because, let’s face it: Star Wars can be downright terrifying at times – both on screen, and in context. Even in space, no one can hear you scream..wait, wrong movie.


cuhwjxk     Attack Of The Clones – Slaughter Of The Tuskin Raiders:

Remember when Anakin tries to rescue his mother from a troop of Tuskin Raiders, but ends up being a little too late[with his mother consequently dying in his arms] If you do, you probably also remember that out of his frustration and anger, [which Jedi aren’t supposed to feel] angst-ridden Ani goes on a rampage; killing the whole group of Tuskin nomads – including their children who were with them! This, along with other situations he finds himself part of, help his inevitable journey towards The Dark Side.


gowhyreReturn Of The JediThe Rancor Beast:

Let’s be honest: Luke‘s face-to-face showdown with Jabba The Hutt‘s precious little demon pet is both inspiring and completely exciting to watch! I mean, who doesn’t like watching an insignificant Gamorrean Guard get eaten alive? It’s violent, gruesome, and just all around good family fun – right?


plur2wcRevenge Of The Sith – The fall of the Jedi Temple:

Do you know who I consider a terrible person? Anakin Skywalker. Seriously. When Palpatine requests of Anakin [though by this point, he may as well be Vader] to execute a plan known as Order-66. This plan involves going to the Jedi Temple and killing all the kids who are training to become Jedi themselves. It gets more depressing when you consider that one of the young Jedi boys asks Anakin for help, as Lord Vader takes out his lightsaber.. for murder.


 

dvph079A New HopeThe deaths of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru:

Need something to motivate you to go on an adventure? Why not coming home to the scorched bodies of the people who raised you? At least, this is what happened to Luke. The sight of Luke‘s aunt and uncle’s remains at the front door of the place he calls home across the sun burned plains of Tatooine is a scene that will forever stick with you when you first watch helplessly..


oxydb0yRevenge Of The Sith -The “birth” of Darth Vader:

In order to save the newly titled Darth Vader, we get one of my favorite scenes from the prequels [blasphemy!] showing little Ani‘s “birth” into Vader. It’s definitely chilling watching the burned, living husk of [what’s left of] Anakin Skywalker being encased in that iconic black armor, and his mask descending toward the camera reminding us of the new face of evil! Even if Lucas does blow it at the very end with that “Nooooooo!” [it’s just so good, for a movie that was so ‘meh.’ Check it out here!]


Needless to say, Star Wars is pretty great. It’s a series that I always return to with it’s iconic music, it’s atmosphere, and it’s views on violence: only use it when necessary. Something like The Force can be a strong tool in the hands of a mad man, just ask Vader! With The Force Awakens coming sooner than ever, I’m planning on revisiting the series [and possibly write reviews of all six on here?] because let’s be real: In a galaxy far, far away; Evil looms around every corner.

Also, if find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 125+ likes – only a few more and we’ll have reached over 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

cze37ujyou and me both, Solo.

THANKS FOR READING.

warrenisweird’s TOP 05 DECAPITATIONS IN HORROR

top05decapitationsBelieve it or not, this post is actually inspired by a friend of mine who once said to me “you can appreciate a good decapitation in a horror film.. I can respect that.” After careful consideration, and looking back on some of my older TOP 05 posts, I realized – I never did a list based on some of my favorite decapitations in horror movies. according to Urban Dictionary, a decapitation is described as “the removal of the head which normally consists of some idiot hacking off the head with an axe directed at the neck area.” So, here is the part where I list some of my personal favorites. these are the ones that have stuck in my mind the most over the years, so although these may not be your favorites, they’re some of the ones that have had the most impact on me. So here we go – warrenisweird‘s top 05 decapitations in horror – in no particular order, of course!

SPOILER-ALERT


The Omen:

Starting off with a classic, The Omen somehow made this shot look graceful, with knocking someone’s head off with a bit of building material look majestic, what with the disembodied head performing 360 spins and turns. I remember seeing this for first time when I was younger and being surprised that a scene could even be filmed that way.

High Tension:

Coming from a movie I’ve watched more times than I can count, [that’s not a bad thing..] High Tension is a film that wins for having such a fun feeling to it’s filming style. The story follows a serial killer who breaks into the home where Marie [and her friend/her family] is staying, only to start killing everyone. At least he was polite enough to ring the doorbell. In the above scene, Father has his head jammed between two staircase rails – unable to move – and our killer decides on smashing his head with a dresser. I mean, really?!

Cigarette Burns:

Coming from the first season of The Masters Of Horror TV series, and directed by Master John Carpenter, This one hour movie [“episode”] follows a guy who is looking for a rare print of a movie so evil that anyone who watches it supposedly descends into a uncontrollable psychotic frenzy.  During his search, he meets many terrible people, including someone who ties him to a chair and forces him to watch someone get decapitated. It’s not exactly a quick/clean cut either, there’s quite a bit of hacking involved.

“C Is For Capital Punishment”ABCs Of Death 2:

Unlike the first ABCs Of Death film, I actually enjoyed the sequel. For what it is, this sequel actually had decent shorts, with nothing too extreme or strange. Being a short that was hinted at in the trailer, I had high hopes for this part of the film. Thankfully, I felt that it paid off – giving a darker feel to a not so gruesome story. [I mean, it is gruesome, but compared to some of the other shorts in the movie – this one isn’t too bad] Just watching the axe get caught in the guy’s neck, only to be jerked out looks extremely painful..

Friday The 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan:

Although I’m not the biggest Friday The 13th fan, I feel that this particular scene never ceases to make me laugh. It doesn’t help that with a title like Jason Takes Manhattan, you’d expect to Jason running around New York kill a ton of people – not spend the entire film on a boat, only to arrive in Manhattan in the last few minutes.. anyway. This scene follows Julius, a boxer who thinks he can stand up to our masked killer, but when he tires himself out from flailing for an extended period of time; Jason takes his turn and…this happens. Sure, it’s cheesy as hell; but I love it. It’s something that needed to happen to make this terrible film bearable.


Now obviously, decapitations are a dime a dozen, especially when horror films feel that they need a quick kill to keep the audience entertained. These are just a few of the many I could have mentioned so here are some honorable mentions, even though I never really do this sort of thing..

30 Days Of NightBilly‘s death

Deadly Friendthe basketball scene

Hobo With A Shotgun Ricky as not Ricky


So now I turn to you, the reader of this article. What’s your favorite horror movie decapitation? Was it on this list? If not, let me know in the comments below! I would love to know which ones are your favorites, especially if you can think of one that I wouldn’t have considered! Also, if you found yourself to enjoy this film review, please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 100+ likes – only 15 more and we’ll have reached 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

warrenisweird’s top FIVE cemeteries in horror movies!

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Cemeteries have always held an air of creepiness to them: they are places where we bury our loved ones, giving them a final resting place. Sometimes, the place manages to creep you out because of the way it looks – all decrepit and broken down – but, there’s a reason the Fantasy and Horror genre tend to like this setting. In these cemeteries, it is almost always night and often, the moon is full, for extra supernatural points. Fog is usually a contributing factor, and more importantly, the dead aren’t ‘really dead‘! I mean, some horror movies revolve around being in a cemetery! But as expected, not all film cemeteries are created equal; many are pretty standard, boring versions of what is supposed to be granite tombstones and black, but bland backgrounds. But every so often, we get a glimpse at what seems to be a truly spectacular collection of mausoleums and even more headstones, sometimes with familiar names engraved on them! Or maybe I’m just overthinking this whole thing. Either way, this is warrenisweird‘s TOP FIVE cemeteries, in horror movies. As with all my list posts, this is entirely an opinion piece – if you disagree, or have preferred horror movie cemeteries, be sure to leave a comment with your favorites!


Night Of The Living Dead [1968]

Because of course I would be adding this movie! Esthetically, this cemetery isn’t really isn’t anything spectacular that makes it stand out, but the scenery around it is very nice..especially for wandering zombies – even though we never really see one come from inside a grave! In real life, this location is known as Evans City Cemetery, and if you find yourself curious, this website compares the film and the cemetery as it stands today!


Braindead [1992]

often referred to as the goriest film of all time, Braindead strongly deserves that title. It’s extremely gory, even for a film that doesn’t take itself too seriously.. Even the scene above shows that Peter Jackson was a master at making gory horror flicks in his early days as a Director.


Nightbreed [1990]

You know what I like more than slasher films? Monster movies; specifically – movies like NightbreedThe movie follows a troubled young man, who is drawn to a mythical place under a cemetery called Midian. In Midian, he quickly learns that there are a variety of monsters are hiding.. from the humanity above. After Hellraiser, I fell in love with Clive Barker‘s work, and Nightbreed confirmed it.


Drag Me To Hell [2009]

Say what you will, but I actually really enjoyed Sam Raimi‘s return to horror with Drag Me To Hell; it was dark and gritty, it had the slapstick humor that Raimi is known for, and most importantly – it had a really dirty cemetery scene..which I loved. If you enjoyed Drag Me To Hell, let me know in a comment! I can’t be the only one..


Army Of Darkness [1992]

Speaking of Raimi, who could forget the scene in this movie when Ash forgets the ‘magic’ words from the Necronomicon? it’s funny, it’s slapstick silly, and it’s probably the most memorable cemetery on this entire list! And that’s saying something!


So what have we learned today? Besides the obvious, cemeteries aren’t always made the same in movies. Sure, they are the birth place of the hoards of the undead, and in the case of a Zombie Apocalypse, expect every grave to be a “Clown Car Grave“. As with most of my ‘list’ posts, there is literally thousands of different cemeteries I could have mentioned for this list. Hell, I’m sure I’m going to get comments asking why this cemetery wasn’t added or this one; and I’ll quickly realize that I didn’t even consider/think of that one! So now I ask you: what is your favorite horror movie cemetery/resting place? Did I mention it above? If not, let me know in a comment or two! I’d love to compare lists!

Also, if you found yourself to enjoy this article, please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 100+ likes – thanks so much!] By clicking “like”, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted. I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you guys to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share the page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

film study: DEADLIEST horror movie villains [ranked by KILL count!]

Look at the picture above. Which iconic horror villain stands out the most to you? Some of these guys are the epitome of horror: Ghostface, Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, Jason, Billy, Leatherface and Chucky. They are all fairly formidable foes on their own, but which one is truly the most deadly? After talking through email with someone [whom I won’t mention by name due to obvious privacy reasons] from the website buycostumes, they actually made an info-graph back in 2014 explaining which horror villain is considered the “most deadly” – at least by their kill count. When trying to export the info-graph here, the picture kind of shrunk [making it hard to read] so I’m going to break it down by horror villain, in order. With this graph, this individual and I agreed that I’d talk about it here, mainly because it’s definitely something that could be up for debate amongst horror fans, and not everyone who reads this will agree! So strap your boots on tight, kiddies: this is gonna be a long one.


[click this info-graph to see the original post by BUYCOSTUMES]


Let’s start from the top of this ladder of villains with: Pennywise, from It. Probably my least favorite on this list for the fact that I have coulrophobia. Clowns in horror isn’t really something new, but Pennywise is probably one of the scarier ones. If you want to get down to the ‘technical’ stuff, It‘s villain wasn’t always a clown, but an entity known as It, which is a shape-shifting being that can take any form it chooses; Clowns just seem relevant.. According to the graph, Pennywise isn’t nearly as violent as the others, as his kill count is at only 09. In his defense though, he did only have one movie under his belt.


Jumping from 09 kills to 22, we have The Candyman, from you guessed it; Candyman. If you’re unfamiliar with the movie [and its two sequels], Farewell To The Flesh and Day Of The Dead, the basic thing you need to know is that The Candyman is a demonic being that can be summoned by saying his name in front of a mirror five times. If you’ve ever heard of “Bloody Mary”, this is  pretty much the same concept, just with a guy with a hook for a hand instead of a woman in the mirror..


Remember Chucky? Everyone remembers the first time they saw Child’s Play: it’s actually creepy [in it’s own right] with a killer “Good Guy Doll”; where the spirit of fictional killer by the name of Charles Lee Ray puts his soul into a doll to try and live ‘forever’. I assure you, it’s a lot better than I make it sound, even if they do get a little ridiculous after the third film. Chucky has killed over 30 victims over the span of his six movies.


If you’ve never seen his films, I’m about 100% sure you’ve at least heard of Leatherface of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre fame. The original film is gritty, it’s raw, and it’s really fucked up. In a good manner of speaking, of course. His real name is Jedidiah Sawyer, but that feels like a mouthful in it’s own, so let’s stick with Leatherface, shall we? Over seven movies later, [with a new one on the way] Sawyer has claimed himself 31 victims [beating Chucky by ONE]


Hellraiser has arguably one of the cooler villains on this list, because Pinhead is completely different than everyone else on here. I mean, think about it: he’s another worldly being who has a thing for pain, pleasure and most importantly; [Lament Configuration] puzzle boxes. nine films later, Pinhead has shown such sights to 35 people! [and that’s not including the books!]


If you know me well enough, you know that one of my [many] guilty pleasure film horror series is very clearly – the SAW series. Even if Billy isn’t the “technical” killer [the traps are] his “playthings” have been through seven movies and put in traps over 40 times, with only a [very] small number of survivors..


He’s everyone’s favorite dream-invading killer: If you die in your dream, you’re going to die in real life. Of course I’m talking about Freddy Krueger. A Nightmare On Elm Street is what I think of when I think classic slasher film; it has a bit of everything – including Johnny Depp in his first role! nine films and a [terrible] remake later, Krueger has claimed 42 sleeping teenagers and adults alike!


Imagine this: you’re about three feet tall, you’re Irish, and you’ve been kidnapped by an angry and greedy American who wants your gold. Essentially, you’ve become Lubin from the Leprechaun series. Though he may not be the first horror villain that comes to mind since he’s not overly popular, [if not for cult status]  Lubin is actually extremely violent, as proven by his 45 kills over seven [obscure] movies. Unlike others on this list, he doesn’t have a specific weapon choice either. He is the type to use whatever he can find including a pogo stick, which was used to crush a man’s chest. I don’t know if I’m scared or impressed.


As the second most dangerous horror villain, this guy is pretty impressive. Any guesses? Here’s a few clues: He’s quiet, He started killing when he was young, and His movie is named after a special day. That’s right, we’re talking about Michael Myers from Halloween. Not only is his silence scary, but the fact that his eyes seem almost empty makes him more vicious. ten films and a remake [which also had a sequel] later, Myers has claimed over 111 victims! If that’s not concerning enough, I don’t know what is..


Ranking in at number one is a villain who killed over 300+ people, He is extremely difficult to kill. Apparently if you do manage to stop him, sometimes extreme electricity can bring him back from the dead. Basically, you’re dead. No questions asked. Jason from Friday The 13th has murdered more people than anyone on this list over the span of thirteen movies. [which is kind of appropriate when you think about it] Okay, okay – I know that it was his mother in the first film, but come on – he’s still killed many others when He started doing the killing.

As proven by the above [very long] list, many horror icons have a ton of experience in being evil. There’s clowns, dolls, and dreamy killers, [pro tip: that was a joke about Freddy if you couldn’t already tell] and that’s not including horror villains that weren’t on this list [next time, Ghostface, next time..] Do you have a favorite horror icon – Who is it and why? How many films have they had and how many kills? Let me know in a comment below! Also, if you’ve made it this far – be sure to check out the original kill count post by buycostumes [found here] and tell them I sent you there!

If you found yourself to enjoy this piece of writing, please take a minute and follow me over on Facebook where you can click the “like” button on my Facebook page. By clicking “like”, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted. I also share links and pictures that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps a ton, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share the page with family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

TOP FIVE MOTHERS IN HORROR [HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY]

Oh, Mom – You were the woman who held us in your womb for nine [long] months. You are the woman who fed us and shushed us when we cried.. But unlike these Mothers; you seem to have actually cared.  Unlike the ones in horror films and TV shows that have gone and given us a look at the dark side of motherhood over the years.. It’s kind of strange in it’s own right: there’s no horror film called “Father’s Day” ? But yet there are many that revolve around vicious killer Moms. Because I have to work tomorrow, here’s my Mother’s Day post – my top 5 mothers in horror.

NOTE: Amelia from The Babadook was going to make this list, but I felt that since I already wrote up a post on the film, I’d set her aside. Be sure to read that post, over here.


MARGARET WHITE – CARRIE

They’re all going to laugh at you if you think that Piper Laurie as Carrie‘s mother isn’t the most extreme holier-than-thou mother I’ve seen in a while, making her one of the most frightening parents in horror history. She has a notoriously bad habit of abusing her daughter, proven by the fact that she’s under the impression that her very existence is wretched sin! Margaret even goes so far as to force her to recite certain passages from the Bible,  lock her in a closet, and endlessly torments her until she finally fights back with her telekinetic powers.. Well, she did have it coming after all this..right?


PAMELA VOORHEES – FRIDAY THE 13TH

Anyone who calls themselves a horror fan knows that in the original Friday The 13th, Jason wasn’t the killer [yet] but rather, his mother. According to the plot of the film, Mrs. Voorhees was furious about the oversexed teens who neglected her son as he ultimately, drowned in the nearby Camp [Crystal] Lake. That grin is as terrifying as any old hockey mask!


AMANDA KRUEGER – A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5: THE DREAM CHILD

Like Jason before him, we learn in the fifth installment of his famous series that Freddy also had a mother of importance. We learn that during her time as a nun, Amanda Krueger is locked inside the Westin Hills Asylum with dozens upon dozens of inmates, where she is raped, repeatedly, which ends in her pregnancy. She does give Freddy up for adoption and tries to follow him from a “safe” distance, and to her credit, she even tries to stop him, but realistically, trying to defeat a boogeyman that haunts your dreams is a nearly impossible task; even if you are a woman with divine connections..


ROSEMARY WOODHOUSE ROSEMARY’S BABY

Watch out for those neighbors. It doesn’t help when you find yourself living in a questionable apartment building where strange events seem to occur almost daily and suspicious people give weirder explanations for those events. Then you get Rosemary and her husband, who become players in the plans of what seems to be a Satanic cult! In the movie, Rosemary has what she believes to be a dream of being raped by a demonic being..except it wasn’t  a dream!


NORMA BATES – PSYCHO

you can’t say you didn’t expect this one on the list: when I think mothers in horror, Psycho is bound to be the first film you would probably think of.  We hear her speaking to him the whole film until we learn that Mother was more or less “created” by Norman’s psychotic cross dressing episodes; Only to be horrifyingly revealed as a skeletal corpse stashed away, fully clothed and all in the cellar!


With so many Mothers being so vicious, it’s a wonder any of these people prospered..albeit – into killers – but still. If there’s any lesson to learn today, it’s that even if your Mother grounded you as a child, she’s not nearly as bad as someone who asked you to kill for her, or at least she didn’t lock you in a closet! Which horror Mom do you think is the scariest? is it Mrs. White? Or do you sympathize with Mrs. Krueger, seeing as it’s technically not her fault that Freddy turned out the way he did? Let me know in a comment or two below or on Facebook!

Also, on an closing note, if you found yourself to enjoy this article, please take a minute and follow me over on Facebook where you can click the “like” button on my Facebook page. By clicking “like”, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted. I also share things that will not be featured here on the blog.  So be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share the page with family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

[Mother’s Day Horror by chrisraimoart]

where are they now? children OF horror edition

Whether we like it or not, most of the time, the creepiest monster in a horror movie is a child. Characters like Damien Thorn from The Omen or Gage Creed from Pet Sematary: these kids are terrifying. but if there’s one thing they all have in common, it’s that we haven’t seen them around lately; and if we have, we don’t recognize them anymore – which could be a good or a bad thing. At any rate, let’s look at a couple horror child stars, and see what they’re up to now; after the jump of course.


Danielle Harris:

Starting off with one of my personal favorites, we have Danielle Harris. If you’ve been following warrenisweird for awhile now, you may recognize the name from a few other lists/reviews, Above, we see her as Jamie Lloyd in Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers. More recently, she’s been in Hatchet II and III as Mary Beth. Seems young Jamie has grown up to be quite the catch, cause she got attractive – really attractive!

[check out Danielle Harris as she looks now]


Daeg Faerch:

Daeg [who should win an award for the coolest name ever] is probably best known as the young Michael in Rob Zombie‘s 2007 re-imagining of Halloween. However, in the case of the film’s sequel, he was replaced for “looking too mature”. shortly after, Faerch began a rapping career which he is currently taking a break from – now, at the age of 19, he has four films slated for release in 2015!

[check out Daeg Faerch as he looks now]


Danny Lloyd:

known to horror fans as the creepy little Danny Torrance in the 1980 film, The Shining, he was actually selected for the role – at the age of 6 no less – because of his “ability to maintain his concentration for an extended period of time”. Now at the age of 42, Lloyd has found himself a new job.. as a professor in Biology at a community college in Elizabethtown, Kentucky.

[check out Danny Lloyd as he looks now]


Haley Joel Osment:

At only 10-years-old, Osment was giving us all the creeps opposite Bruce Willis as Cole Sears in one of my more favorite thrillers: The Sixth Sense. Now, at the ripe age of 26, He is still doing movies, particularly Kevin Smith‘s dark comedy Tusk as podcaster Teddy Craft.

[check out Haley Joel Osment as he looks now]


 What weird changes, am I right? Who would have thought that Michael Myers has become a rapper? or that cute little Jamie Lloyd would become really attractive, as my personal favorite last girl none the less, Danielle Harris?

but the real question is which child star surprised you the most? Let me know in a comment or two, or even on Facebook. while you’re over there, why not hit that “like” button? By clicking “like”, you’ll see every post the moment it’s been posted; if that’s not convincing enough, I also share things that will not be featured here on the blog, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same!

THANKS FOR READING.

warrenisweird’s top five “final girls” in horror

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I’ve always been a sucker for the “final girl” in horror films: she generally comes off as the scared/weak one but ultimately decides to face her fears to destroy the bad guy once and for all. From Sidney in the Scream franchise to Laurie from Halloween, there’s been a fair share of bad-ass women in horror, especially in the last few years. Another important part of the trope is that the “final girl” is usually super attractive, which is not a bad thing at all! [with Laurie and Sidney being no different to this “rule”] However, since today is known to Internet users as “#womancrushwednesday” and we’re talking about women in horror, I figured I’d combine the two and make a short list [consisting of five] of some of my personal favorite “final girls”. [which follow the tropes above — yes, even including the “attractive-ness” of the women, so guys: take note!] I’ve also included the trailers to the movies the girls are from, cause y’know.. just in case you were curious enough to check their respective films out for yourself!

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Starting off with a character from a movie that I had to watch a couple times to fully appreciate: Erin from You’re Next. This movie follows a couple who are visiting their family during their parent’s anniversary. however, when they sit down to eat dinner, they are attacked by men in sheep, wolf, and other animal-like masks. Erin makes quick work of the masked men, even after learning the reasoning of their arrival — did I mention she’s Australian? check out the trailer for You’re Next here.

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We all know Nancy from A Nightmare On Elm Street so it’s no surprise she’d end up on this list. This “version” of Nancy is from the older Elm Street films, as she’s much older than the younger version of herself that gets licked by a telephone [while talking to Johnny Depp no less!] Nancy is always near the top of my list when it comes to “final girls”, anyone who can “pull” a killer out of her dreams to try and kill him off is enough to get my vote! haven’t seen this classic? check out the trailer for it here.

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Chances are if you have been following warrenisweird for a while now, you would know that Cabin In The Woods is probably one of my favorite horror films from the past 10 years.. if not my absolute favorite. Therefore, adding Dana was a given since she’s so extreme — only Dana would shoot one of her best friends to save humanity. [even if she didn’t go through with it] it’s also worth noting that the first time we see her in the film, at the beginning, she’s in only a t-shirt and panties: score! [thank you, script writers!] exciting enough? check out trailer for this movie here.

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Choosing another character from a movie I absolutely loved from recent horror comes Mia, our addicted turned Demon [Deadite, anyone?] from the recent Evil Dead remake. Mia has a tough time in this film: from addictions to cocaine, to turning into a demon, to dying; Mia went through a lot. If that wasn’t enough, she even goes so far as ripping her own arm off [from under a truck] to save herself from a Demon, only to shove a chainsaw in it’s throat: which goes so far as to make the sky bleed. damn.. if you think that sounds insanely violent, you should check out the trailer — here. [you might have to sign in due to age restrictions..sorry about that one, kids!]

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My final choice is one some may not know, but should definitely watch when given the chance: Mary-Beth from Hatchet II and Hatchet III. from shooting Victor Crowley in the face [multiple times too! as in, until he was a gooey mess!] to beating him repeatedly — with her bare fucking hands, Mary-Beth is someone I’d totally want on my team if I were facing a crazy swamp man with a hatchet face. If that isn’t enough to sell you on her, Mary-Beth even joins a guy by the name of Reverend Zombie [who ultimately turns out to be a bit of an asshole by the end of part III] check out the trailers for Part II here, and then Part III over here.

[writer’s note: please take note that by watching both trailers, you’re agreeing to possibly seeing spoilers in both trailers to the first Hatchet film]


Obviously these are just a few of the many “final girls” in horror films: they all fall into their own category, and for that — I applaud them. So how about you, dear readers?? who are some of your favorite “final girls”? Do they fit some of the typical tropes? leave me a comment or two and let me know! be sure to find me on Facebook and give me a “like” there and to share with all your horror-loving friends!

THANKS FOR READING.