film study: let’s talk about Halloween III: Season Of The Witch

whether you like this movie or not, Halloween III: Season Of The Witch definitely has it’s fan base. It wasn’t your typical Halloween sequel but it was labelled as one. it didn’t even have Michael Myers.. instead, we got a mask-making company as a villain who has the plan to kill millions of American children with something sinister [I prefer the term: “special”] hidden within their Halloween masks. I mean, what the fuck? that doesn’t sound right? So, as I sit here typing this; drinking my pumpkin spice latte, [hey now! it’s Halloween, I’m allowed officially now] I can’t help but be curious why it’s so different than the other Halloween films! Which is what we’re going to find out in this post – starting now.

it’s important to know that [as I’ve already mentioned] there’s no signs of Michael Myers anywhere in the film. [he’s not even mentioned by name] However, there’s a reason for this: [deep breath~] as a whole, Halloween was originally supposed to be an anthology series – meaning that each with each Halloween film, a different horror story would be made. As it turns out though, the first film proved to be a huge success and as a character, Michael Myers became the next big thing in horror! [sitting along side with Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees] The production team decided that due to his popularity, they should do a follow up of his story with Halloween II, in which Michael was supposed to die at the end. [but we all know what happens with popular horror icons. cough~ Jason!] Naturally, when Season Of The Witch rolled around, audiences were offended that the iconic Halloween villain was left out. From that point, Halloween became a series only about Michael, which he came back in time for Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers [just in time to make it seem like he was never gone from the series as a whole.] if you really want to push the envelope though, Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers tried to add a connection to this film, since Curse Of Michael Myers had a pagan cultist in the film named “Mrs Blankinship“. In Season Of The Witch, the main villain at one point refers to having an appointment with a certain Mrs Blankinship. [coincidence? I didn’t think so]

I kinda want the skull one..minus the death that comes with it.

Going back to Season Of The Witch, [which was the point of this post] it’s actually quite a shocking film: with violence, gore, all happening mainly to kids! It’s mind numbing-ly creepy to know that there’s a company [in a film] known as Silver Shamrock who overly advertise these “special” masks: which come in the forms of Jack-o’Lantern, Skull, and Witch. therefore, children really want these masksonly to get killed by them. I mean, I understand it’s a horror film, but fuck that’s dark.. It isn’t your standard movie death either, [it’s not like you just wear the mask, and then fall over dead] sometimes it involves insects/snakes – crawling out of your skull! [curious to see? see it in GIF form here! not for the squeamish] If that GIF wasn’t enough, sometimes; this happens too – so be careful out there! [did I mention that Halloween III is fairly obscure?]

HALLOWEEN III even has itself a cool poster!

Halloween III: Season Of The Witch is a strange sequel, [as far as sequels go] it doesn’t have everyone’s favorite silent killer. It’s titled Season Of The Witch, but features no witch, but instead a mask company. However, this shouldn’t stop you from seeing it – it’s still a great film, but definitely isn’t for everyone. [some may find it strange, especially for a Halloween film] If you aren’t busy tonight [October 31st, 2014] it’s actually going to be playing on AMC at 7:00pm so I’d say hit it up if given the chance! Also, I’ve included the original 1982 trailer for the film below, so click the play button, and prepare for a really tripped out looking Halloween film!

Lastly, be sure to find me on Facebook as well and give that “like” button a hit! I’d really appreciate it! [we’re getting closer to 100 likes everyday!]


film study: was I the ONLY one who liked “Sinister”?

20141010-091147.jpg I remember when I saw the trailer for Sinister: I was annoyed to all hell that there was another haunting movie coming out. To make it feel worse than I already thought possible, it was produced by the guys that did Paranormal Activity — which I already felt were boring films to begin. [although, the first one was good, for what it was anyway..] Eventually Sinister went to theatres and I just let it slip by, I had absolutely no desire to watch it. Until my birthday later the following year. It’s common knowledge that 90% of the gifts I get during my birthday/Christmas are movies and/or horror memorabilia. One such film I got was Sinister from my father. [be aware, that my father fucking loves the Paranormal Activity/haunting films] I groaned, but it’s a horror film. Finally, Steph and I watched it, and was it not what I expected. [my FULL review of the film should be over on my Letterboxd account] 20141010-093329.jpg I was shocked by the fact that I was actually enjoying this movie, the camera angles, the creepy Buhguul, even the idea of kids killing their families? Although overdone, it felt unsettling; especially with each 8mm tape playing a more disturbed clip [someone even gets run over with a lawnmower in one!] I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about Sinister, and about how wrong I was about it!

Except people already knew; but the twist was that they disagreed with me. I remember when I worked at the theatre and people would come out complain about how “uneventful” the film felt, and the film wasn’t scary like it was told to be. Maybe these were just a few people, but even on my TV screen, it felt fucking insane! Maybe I just need to re-watch it. I know it’s up for a sequel so it couldn’t have been that bad, right? I mean, there has to be a sequel, the tapes were still in the attic by the end credits.. weren’t they?

kids are fucking creepy, am I right?

Ultimately, Sinister was not that bad of a film — I won’t go so far as to say it was the best movie of it’s year, but for a “haunting” film, it was fairly decent. [even iMDB gave it a 6.8/10, so that’s good..right?] Now I turn to you, the readers. Did you see Sinister? Was it really as bad as people thought? Or was it nail bitingly creepy? Lemme know in a comment, or even on Facebook here.


warrenisweird’s TOP 05 monsters from “Cabin In The Woods”

I’ve said it on here before, I can say it a million times – I absolutely love the movie CABIN IN THE WOODS! It has monsters, it has comedy, it even has Thor [but not as Thor] as one of the mindless teenagers who gets himself into trouble. Being as it’s October, I figure there’s no better time to talk about one of my all time favorite monster-flicks, and talk about the monsters in it! The best part of the film is obviously with the  monsters during the scene with the elevators when all hell breaks loose. However, even based on the betting board [which can be seen in the post I made about the film herethere’s a lot of monsters in the film, almost too many to mention: and only then do they finally appear during the purging scene!

From Werewolves to Aliens to Goblins to fucking Unicorns, there are a ton of different types of beasts in this film. Hell, most of them are references to other films/monster flicks! In this post, I’m going to share my TOP 05 monsters in the film. You just may be surprised by who you see on this list. READ ON!

that’s…something else.

For the first one on this list, you can’t go wrong with some mutants. They have the look of the zombies from 28 Days Later don’t they? Even if they aren’t the absolute worst on this list, I’d hate to get caught by one of those guys – cause that’s just fucking gross..

what a beast..literally.

The Dragonbat was something I honestly didn’t expect to be shown, primarily because it wasn’t bet on during the whiteboard scene. However, when it does appear, it certainly pays off! It looks fucking amazing on-screen and I could only wish it got more screen time.

The thing about these Doctors is that they are clearly insane. they’re blood-splattered, they look like their skin has been removed, and they are just all around look disturbing. They aren’t shown for long, but they are seen relatively quickly, about to ‘operate’ on someone. Points for being creepy, guys!

Another monster that deserved more screen time were the dismemberment goblins! Seen only briefly during the ensuing chaos, they are seen for a split-second driving a cart around, while people are tying to escape. What makes them so special is [as seen above] there seems to be two types: a red one and a green one. Whether there is a difference or not, I suppose we’ll never know.

before you jump at me about how I despise clowns, give me a minute to explain why this one is on the list: This is a list about monsters, clowns give me the fucking creeps, and if you have seen the movie, you’ll know that this clown is invulnerable to bullets! If that’s not fucking terrifying, I don’t know what is. fuck this guy for scaring me!

Now that’s only five of the total count of monsters in this film. While I could have gone on forever, these are just some of the scarier beasts found in the movie Cabin In The Woods. Some honorable mentions can be found below [with pictures – click the name –  for reference]

Which was your favorite monster? Was it the Dragonbat? or was it even the Unicorn? Maybe your favorite wasn’t even listed! [I’m sorry if that’s the case!] Let me know in a comment or two, let’s talk about it! Join me tomorrow for my next post: this time, about a film not many people enjoyed: [but of course, I did..] 2012’s Sinister.



Initially, this post was going to strictly be about a certain film that I absolutely love to watch around this time of year, [I won’t mention it by name, since I’ll be using it anyway] but that changed pretty damn quick when I realized that there’s more than just one horror anthology film that I enjoy. Therefore, I’ve hereby decided that for this post, there won’t be just one film mentioned, but five! I’m going to jump right into it, so hold on to your guts, cause these are my top five horror anthology films! [but obviously, in no specific order]

Let’s start off on a film I knew almost nothing about: V/H/S/2. I had seen the first V/H/S film and I can’t lie, I wasn’t overly impressed by it. I understood what it was, and what it was trying to do: but it didn’t really phase me, as it just felt strange. However, when I saw the second installment, I was blown away with the quality of it, the fucking insanity that the film [as a whole] was, but most of all – the genuine creep-out feeling I had in my stomach during Safe Haven [as depicted above] was just too real, I was amazed at how well the story was executed. Bring on V/H/S/Viral

Creepshow is one of those films that deserves so much more love because it’s so damn unique to anything I’ve really seen up until now: plus being made by George A. Romero and Stephen King ? Sign me up! The best short is easily the one Leslie Nielson, titled Something To Tide You Over. Creepshow 2 was also fairly good, and worth a watch as well!

If you follow me over on Facebook, you should totally have expected this one to come up: Trick ‘r Treat. It’s one of my favorite Halloween films as it takes place on the holiday, and has a bit of everything for everyone. Even the spirit of Halloween shows up [appropriately named “SAM” for “SAMHAIN”] which is a definite plus. Can’t forget the fact that Anna Paquin shows up as a super-hot werewolf. I mean, check her out here!

They just don’t make movies like Tales From The Crypt anymore. Before the classic HBO series [which I wasn’t aware lasted over 7 seasons!], there was this film: It wasn’t like the show at all since it was mainly about a bunch of weirdos sitting around while the Crypt Keeper [but not the one you’re thinking of] makes them explain, and tell their dark secrets to one another. Although not as awesome as the show, this film is worth watching.

I can’t deny the fact that this one is a bit of a cop-out, since I technically haven’t seen it yet: ABCs Of Death 2. However, based on the trailer [and the post I made about it here] it looks about 100 times better than the original film. As I said in the post, I wasn’t really a fan of the first; I felt that the director’s got away with a lot that some shouldn’t have [can you say “P is for PRESSURE”?] however, the trailer for this one makes it look fantastic, at least in the sense of being better than the first!

So here we have not one but five Anthology films that I recommend. While I’m not entirely sure if they’re all available on Netflix, [or Hulu, or what have you] I can say with certainty that they are enjoyable enough to deserve a viewing. I also want to apologize for the delaying of posts occasionally, [especially lately] something happened in my personal life [Stephanie and I are fine, I swear!] and it’s taking some getting used to, hopefully it passes sooner than later.


horror gaming: SAW [and] SAW II: FLESH & BLOOD

It’s always tough to make a game based on a movie, am I right? especially if it’s based on a series that spanned over seven films by it’s release. If the wasn’t difficult enough, how the hell are you supposed to make a game based around someone in “death traps” and then what happens next? Well, for that reason, today on “horror gaming” — I’m bringing up SAW and SAW II: FLESH AND BLOOD!

Like last time, the SAW games are available for both Xbox360 and Playstation3 so if I’ve caught your attention enough; they’re fairly cheap now. But the question is why? Why were they so badly overlooked? Was it because SAW is considered “torture porn”? Maybe, but the games were actually decent, at least for what they were. I’m going to try and explain this the best I can, without getting too confusing. As explaining the differences/similarities between the games and films can be kind of tricky. sigh. Okay, here we go;

The first game takes place between the movies: SAW and SAW II. You play as Detective Tapp, who we last heard — was obsessing over the death of his partner Sing and doing everything to apprehend Jigsaw. The game however, [which I presume starts at the end of the first movie] starts with Tapp in a reverse bear trap [similar to the one Amanda wore in the first film] and already you’re up to the challenge of getting him out of it: rotating the joystick counterclockwise and pushing the corresponding button flashing in the corner. When you finally get the device off, is where the game begins [see what I did there??]

It’s in that moment you realize you’re locked in what looks like public bathroom. and although the lighting is quite terrible, you find a lighter on a table nearby, which becomes is your light-source for about 95% of the entire game! when you make your way to the door to exit — it’s [naturally] locked with a combination lock. The code is found painted backward on the doors to the bathroom stalls and you need to close them all and look in the mirror to read it and get the fuck out!

Now that’s all I’m going to say about the beginning [I’m not writing this as a walk-through haha] but as for story-line you come across quite a few news files [which are collectibles] which tie the game you’re playing to the films. Mentioning names from various SAW characters [old and new, including Tapp‘s son?] and what they have been doing. Throughout the game however, each chapter is divided by a person’s name; which is the person you have to save in each chapter. The final game chapter, is titled only as TAPP. Which I took as symbolism for “saving yourself”. I won’t say much, but I will say one thing — that ending is pretty extreme. even for a game based on SAW.

The second SAW game is where the extremities really stepped up. It’s a direct sequel to the first game, as you now play as Tapp‘s son, Michael. [but not before doing some crazy opening knife cutting sequence, which looks exactly like the opening to the film SAW II and works the same way as the start of the first game] While you’re not put in a reverse bear trap, like your father, you’re stuck in a train shaft [at least that’s what I thought it was..] and have push gated barriers out of the way, creating an opening to exit through — almost like a reverse Tetris. As with the first game, you come across people to save and files to collect, but this time around you get to collect seven Billy dolls, one in each chapter of the game — probably symbolizing the seven movies, the catch is that each one is hidden behind the most difficult of traps.

The ending to SAW II: FLESH AND BLOOD was much more of a higher note than the first SAW game. While still fairly extreme in story telling, it wasn’t as depressing to see, making you question if helping the people in the first game was really worth it.

If I had to choose FLESH AND BLOOD was definitely the superior game, both in fear, and in quality. In the end, it’s still “game over” as there were only two games, and probably no chance at a third. [correct me if I’m wrong!]

Also, if you’re still interested in more SAW, that the first SAW movie is going to [select] theatres on October 31st 2014 to celebrate it’s ten-year anniversary date! finally, don’t forget to join me tomorrow for my final “horror gaming” sequence, before we go back to scary movies until Halloween! Tomorrow’s game is none other than the SILENT HILL series!!


film study: how I came to enjoy “Cabin In The Woods”

I wish I could say otherwise, but when I first watched the movie Cabin In The Woods, I did not enjoy it at all. I felt that it was filled with annoying characters, that it was clearly a blatant rip off of multiple films, and worst of all — I felt there was too much happening at once. I never realized that all this confusion and strangeness in a film would become one of my favorite modern horror of the past 10 years.

For starters, what exactly is the movie Cabin In The Woods? besides being a horror movie with nearly every monster imaginable, [and then some] it also has a deeper link to it — “older than the world gods” who want to destroy everyone on the planet — as they’ve been laid dormant for thousands of years.. due to human sacrifice. Which is where this almost ‘government’ comes in. It turns out, that they are around to appease these gods, and have tabs on everyone in the cabin; ‘helping’ them undo themselves. Each generation of new sacrifices have to fill five certain roles:

The Jock, The Scholar, The Whore, The Virgin and The Fool.

It’s also worth mentioning that my thought of “blatant rip off” was actually something Cabin did intentionally as almost homages to other films [we’ll return to this in a bit] — making me wonder if they’re going the route of using the idea that all other horror movies are “payment” or “sacrifice” to these gods? Kind of like how Behind The Mask had the idea of Freddy, Jason & Michael Myers all being real serial killers. [at least in the film’s world]

Going back to the homages in the film, people that have seen this movie will know exactly what I’m thinking of — the infamous white board. According to the film, in the basement of the Cabin are a bunch of little trinkets: each representing a different monster. The idea is each of the 5 “sacrifices” is to “choose their demise”. The office group [which I’ve been referring to as “the almost government” this whole time] has a white board where they actually gamble on which mythical beasts are going to be chosen by the teenagers — as seen below.

Looking at this board, we can see a fuck ton of familiar terms such as: Deadites, Kevin, The Bride and even an “Angry Molesting Tree”! [just to name a few] the best part of this white board is knowing that these aren’t even all the monsters in the film — just enough here to get you all excited. To add to the insanity of all this, we even get to see most, if not all, of the monsters during what can only be describes as “messy”: the elevator scene.

If you were to look this scene up on YouTube – assuming you haven’t already seen the movie – chances are you’d probably do what I did when I first saw it: stare in a amazement. The amount of effort in this film, to get so many different types of monsters in mind-blowing![very little CGI makes me a happy camper! see what I did there? even the merman/werewolf were people in costumes!]

It really did take a bit of warming up to liking Cabin In The Woods but as I said at the start of this post, at first I was not a fan at all. I couldn’t get over how “different” it was than classic horror films — however, after a few more viewings and reading fan-explanations; it’s become a personal favorite film of mine! I could watch it a zillion times and still notice something new every time.

Also, on a somewhat quick side note [completely unrelated] if you read my movie reviews over here, I realize it’s been a long time since I wrote one.. [last movie I reviewed over there was “Amazing Spider-Man 2” I think] it’s the same as before, I’ve been busy working/writing here but new movie reviews are on the way; I promise!!


why “BIG EYES” is going to be FANTASTIC! [Dear Mr. Burton]

I don’t remember if I’ve ever mentioned it on here, but I’m a fairly large Tim Burton fan. I have been since I was a kid with films like Batman, Beetlejuice, and Nightmare Before Christmas. As I grew up, I started growing with the films of Burton – always watching his newest film and eventually calling myself a fan. [I do own all his films on DVD too] However, by becoming a fan of his; I also [inadvertently] became a fan of Johnny Depp. While not a bad thing – everyone is entitled to a favorite actor – I began to attach Depp to Burton specifically: as many people have started doing..

enter Big Eyes Tim Burton‘s new film: It’s his first biopic, since  Ed Wood  which was released 20 years prior to this film. It’s one of Burton‘s first fully human  film in a long time [without the creepy atmospheres that I grew to love so much over the years] – and you know what? I’m thinking that I’m okay with that. The film is also [based on]  a true story – being the story centered around the awakening of painter Margaret Keane, her phenomenal success in the 1950s, only to go through the subsequent legal difficulties she had with her husband, who actually claimed credit for her works in the 1960s. If you look at the IMDb link for the film, you’ll also notice that this film does not have Johnny Depp or even Helena Bonham Carter, but instead, we’re treated to actors such as Amy Adams and even Christoph Waltz!

While some may see this as a risky move, making a film without his main two actors; [best friend/partner] I think it’s going to be fantastic! It’s truly a switch from what we’re used to – and it looks fucking great! The first trailer has actually been released but I was a little slow getting to it [because of work, etc] but now that I’ve officially watched it – I can’t get enough. as a horror fan, I never thought I’d be excited for a biopic! Maybe it’s cause Burton‘s name is attached though. If you haven’t already seen  it, I’ve included the [first] trailer for Big Eyes below. Let me know in a comment or two what you think!


underrated movie of the day: Léon The Professional

If you can believe it, [I know some won’t believe me!] not all of the movies I enjoy are in the horror genre. Sometimes, they fall under drama or even sometimes action. Or in the case of today’s underrated movie; both drama and action. This movie is none other than Léon The Professional.

The movie follows Léon, a hit-man [who calls himself “a cleaner”] who is the best at what he does — all while drinking milk, watering his plants and listening to music. occasionally, he sees his young next door neighbour [he lives in an apartment, probably to keep his profile low] who is clearly abused physical and mentally] at home. This neighbour is none other than Mathilda and is played wonderfully by the beautiful Natalie Portman [though, she was 12 in this film!] The story officially kicks off when SPOILER ALERT!] Mathilda‘s family is brutally murdered in a drug related incident. It’s in this moment that Mathilda turns to her quiet neighbour Léon to let her into his place where she learns who he really is. Like most people in that scenario, Mathilda wants revenge on the guys who killed her family [though only for her younger brother, no one else] and enlists Léon to teach her how to become a “cleaner”.

What makes this film so special is it feels like there’s nothing like it — a young girl wanting revenge on killer and then finding herself [believing] she’s in love with a quiet neighbour who is actually a hit-man, you wouldn’t expect this film to fall into such things! In fact, it’s almost ‘cute’ in the way Léon and Mathilda interact. [“drink your milk, Mathilda”] Because she’s so young, Mathilda gets herself in trouble and her hero: Léon has to come and saves the day! The whole film is just numbing with it’s acting and it’s cinematography. Just the atmosphere of the film alone is captivating! It really does deserve such a high spot on IMDb‘s list of top 250 films of all time. It’s even directed and written by Luc Besson – who also made The Fifth Element so that alone should tell you something.

As I’ve said in the past — most characters that I tend to relate to are [extremely] fallible. They’re like a “fallen hero” who’s gone through such immense struggles that they almost have to push through, because then they’ll feel like they have accomplished what they set out to do. Characters like Léon come off as okay, because he’s a hit-man, but in reality [probably from making so many enemies over the years] he struggles to sleep at night; out of fear of someone coming into his apartment. He also doesn’t know how to read [never learned, I guess?] so in a way, Léon needs Mathilda to survive as Mathilda needs Léon.

I definitely recommend this film if you can find a copy of it somewhere [I don’t think it’s out of print.. I mean it shouldn’t be] it has an extremely strong storyline with fantastic characters and has Natalie Portman in her first feature role — at the age of 12! The end of the film will definitely tear at your heart strings a little, but that’s what makes it so damn special: it’s relatable. So do yourself a favor and watch Léon The Professional, I promise it’s storyline alone will have your attention enough to continue watching! fun fact, the quote at the top of warrenisweird under the title is from this exact film!

20140918-084453.jpgTHANKS FOR READING.

HOWARD THE DUCK wasn’t THAT bad of a film, right?


“are we really about to delve into this film?” yes. yes we are!

We’ve all heard the stories and we’ve seen it on people’s top 10 worst film lists; but after his cameo in GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, I took it on myself to find myself a copy of the
dreaded film known to the world as Howard The Duck. It was done by George Lucas so I mean, that alone should mean something, right? When I finally had a copy in my hands [and for only $10 too!] I knew that it was gonna be entertaining, even though it was considered a flop to many. I put off watching for a good while — mainly cause having to work; but when I actually sat down and watched it in full, guess what? I actually enjoyed myself. At least to a point.

The film opens up with Howard getting home from work, sitting on his couch reading “Rolling Egg” [get it? Like “Rolling Stone”? talk about a bad pun..] which he quickly switches out for reading PlayDuck [I’ll let you do the fix for that one yourself] when the entire room starts shaking. Howard assumes it’s an earthquake [Duckquake?] and is promptly dragged into orbit and ultimately, Earth [and the visuals are the absolute worse during this scene.]

The thing about Howard The Duck is that it is a bad film, but it’s a cult-classic. It’s humor is just so cheesy but I managed to laugh. It has it’s strong points, but ultimately – I understand why it was considered a flop: to start, it’s kind of difficult to relate to Howard. He’s a humanoid duck who drinks beer, smokes cigars, and is a master of something he calls ‘Quack Fu’. Secondly, the acting. At times it’s ‘alright’, other times..not so much. But the biggest thing I simply cannot forgive is ‘Duck Tits’. It’s shown only briefly, but as Howard is hurdling through space and time; he shoots through a female duck’s bathroom — while she’s bathing! Those that have seen the film know exactly what I’m talking about. If not, just look below:

yeeeeeeeeeeeah. not feeling this one…

Who the hell said this was a good idea?! It’s not ‘comedic’, or even clever; it’s just…weird. [and not in a good way, either] I can officially say I’ve seen ‘duck boobs’, and I’m not amused; I mean who would?!

The one saving grace in Howard The Duck is a character known as Beverly: Howard‘s love interest in the film. She’s the one at the top of this post with Howard. She’s in a band, [known as ‘The Cherry Bombs’] sings about stuff no one cares about, and is a human. While she is annoying, she seems to actually care for Howard when no one else does — and she’s a babe too, so that helps our cause dramatically! just look at that rocker hair, though!

what a babe! ..I meant Lea Thompson I swear!

Now the million dollar question is: can Howard The Duck really be as bad as everyone says? I found it entertaining, but it had it’s faults. [The final ‘enemy’ is terribly CGI’d.. I didn’t expect perfection, though.] ultimately, it’s well deserving of it’s cult status: it definitely is a “love or hate” kind of film, and I definitely fell in between the two. What about you? Did you enjoy the film? If you haven’t seen it, would you? Let me know!

Also, as much as I doubt it’ll happen — I wait patiently for the day we get a real remake of the film. With the GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY version of him. Hey! a guy can dream, right? …right?