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Dear Internet: An Epiphany By Warren[isweird]

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[an accurate representation of my mind since Tuesday this past week]

Internet, we need to talk. You are probably going to want to sit down for this one, because I have something extremely important I want to talk [well, technically write] to you all about: the future of warrenisweird. If you follow me on Instagram, on Twitter, or even in real life; you probably have a good idea of where this post is headed before I even start. sigh. Believe me when I say, this is harder for me to say than it is for you to read it. Ready? This is going to be a long one so take a deep breath with me, and let’s talk. Okay, here goes.

If you have been following warrenisweird since the beginning, you would know/remember that I work at a funeral home and have been for a while now. [my fourth year is coming this July!] You would also know that my chosen career path is to become a fully Licensed Funeral Director. While this still all remains true to this day, my work-life is constantly evolving: I am learning more and more everyday about the role of a Funeral Director and through my newly learned skills, I took [what I consider] one of the biggest chances in my life and applied for College in order to become said Funeral Director. With all this busy-ness happening, you probably also have noticed a lack in posts on here. This is mainly because I have been working a lot more lately ever since we lost two staff members at work, and when I actually am off work; I am taking a break.. usually ending with me falling asleep on the couch. Hell, I haven’t even watched a movie in what feels like forever because I am so damn busy.. Be all this as it may, this past Tuesday – the 2nd of May – I received the absolute best news imaginable: I have been accepted to Humber College in Toronto [Ontario] to be a full time student [starting in September 2017] to study Mortuary Science/Funeral Studies. While I am beyond excited for this, there comes a catch.. and I am about 99.99% sure you know what I am about to say: Suddenly, everything becomes even more busy, and because of this, I have absolutely no time for warrenisweird.

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[an accurate representation of both sides of my brain]

Let’s reflect for a moment: when I started warrenisweird, it was always meant to be a hobby: a if you will – place to talk about my feelings towards upcoming horror films [which I still and always will have a passion for] and movie reviews in my spare time. That last part is probably the most important part of the sentence – “in my spare time.” Little by little, I became more and more busy in my personal life, be it with work, application struggles or even just finding time to spend with my Wife. Because of this, I had no choice but to put this blog aside for a while.. Until “a while” became weeks, which felt like months. Now, especially if I am going to school in September, most of – if not all – my time and dedicated “free time” is to my education and ultimately; my future. Even after I finish the in-class portion of my schooling, I have a 5-6 day Internship [which lasts a year] before I change into that Fully Licensed Funeral Director I have been striving to become. What I am trying to say is that even after I am done school, I still would have little to no time to write up a blog post. HOWEVER, there is a silver lining to all this negativity..if can you believe it.

Although I may not have as much time to write on here, that does not mean that I am never going to write on here again – I plan on keeping the URL name [warrenisweird will forever be my namesake] and I will do my best to find time to post once and a while, there just might be a few weeks between posts.. and sometimes, no posts in a month. Also, and I realize I have said this before and failed miserably, I plan on using my Medium account as an almost “Diary” of sorts; writing about my experiences in College and other exciting life events. [if you find yourself interested, please consider following me there] Also, if you have “liked” the Facebook Page for warrenisweird, I will always/still continue to share/post horror related content. That page is not going away either! If you are a fan of warrenisweird for the movie reviews I write, those are/will be found over on Letterboxd; so follow me there if you want my thoughts on movies! [and as always do not hesitate to recommend me something to watch! It does not have to be strictly horror!]

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[Where I like to think we stand as a community]

To end this word spill on a sappy lovey-dovey note, I just want to say that I appreciate every one of you that took time out of your day to read/continue to read warrenisweird. This journey into the blogging world would never have happened if not for you guys! It truly means a lot to me that people actually give a crap about what I write on here, and even engage in conversation about it – even if they disagree with my post! I love debating movie theories, and explaining why I love a certain “bad film,” it’s what connects us as horror movie fans! At least I think so, anyway. You guys are the absolute BEST and I wouldn’t trade the feeling you gave me as a writer away for anything.

So now you know. This is why I tend to “disappear” from the blog for x-amount of days/weeks, what I am up to in my personal life, and what life has for me next. I hope that I have explained this well enough, and thank you all for understanding why I am choosing to not write on here as often as I once wished I could. [At least not nearly as frequently] The best way to look at this is it is not a final goodbye, it’s “I will see you around!” As always, if you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [we’re just over 195+ likes – let’s get it to the 200 mark!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird from the very moment it’s been “gone live” online and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog.

Seriously though, these past few years have been a blast and if I could, I would love to continue doing this gig. Being a small time hobby, it was never meant to be a long-term career [writing online as a full time job is one of the hardest things to get into! I strongly commend those that get to do it!] As I mentioned above, I’ve also been writing my movie reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch. As for my “Diary” posts? Follow me on Medium for updates on my life. These posts will be starting soon! I love you all, please do not hesitate to reach out to me through my contact page, which goes straight to my personal email. I try to reply to every one of them, so whether it’s a movie recommendation or a simple “thanks,” I can’t wait to hear from you!

As always,

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THANKS FOR READING.

Is Blumhouse Making The “Five Nights At Freddy’s” Movie?

WRITER’S NOTE: Hey, remember me? I am the guy who used to write weekly on a little horror blog called warrenisweird. Yeah, I know; I have been ‘missing’ for quite some time now, but with planning for college [the last two weeks have been me playing telephone tag/sending emails to Coordinators and Professors] and working almost six days a week, [a co-worker recently quit, which left a ton of room for extra shifts on my part. Naturally, I said yes!] I have hardly had any time to myself. When I do get time to relax, I have spent it playing on my new [and shiny!] PS4 that Stephanie got me for my birthday that just past. [if you are interested in adding me on PS+, send me a comment and we will talk about it!] Therefore, I want to make it crystal clear that I still will be writing warrenisweird blog posts.. just very infrequently; at least until this whole college situation is under control and I find the time. Now, onto today’s post!


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Say what you will, but ever since Five Nights At Freddy’s broke onto the gaming scene and started terrifying players back in 2014, it seemed almost like a guarantee that a Five Nights At Freddy’s movie was sure to follow. Almost like clockwork, the game – which has had multiple sequels and even a series of books – was grabbed for a film adaptation by Warner Bros. a year later; in 2015. However, for some reason, we have not heard anything about it since then.

So does this imply that the project is dead? Not quite.. because very recently Five Nights At Freddy’s creator Scott Cawthon posted a very interesting Tweet that seems to suggest the film is coming sooner rather than later, check out the Tweet below!

Naturally, everyone who is a fan of the game[s] jumped at Scott, asking if the movie really is coming to fruition after all, which he did not reply to. But, it is important to realize that this is the first Tweet Cawthon has EVER posted [seriously, check out his account] so it must mean that something is happening. But what does it mean? For starters, it seems that Warner Bros. is no longer making the movie and [based on the projector screen behind the chair] Blumhouse has become [one of] several companies seemingly very interested in acquiring the rights. Put that together with Cawthon’s [only] Tweet, and it is safe to assume that Blumhouse has come aboard to save the day. Be aware though, I am not going to say that this is confirmed, and that the deal has been sealed. I would be fairly surprised though if Cawthon Tweeted this before it was official. [So keep your fingers crossed!]

So the question remains, is Blumhouse making a Five Nights At Freddy’s video game movie adaptation? Could Markiplier be part of the film? This one single Tweet has left fans – myself included – with many questions. What are Your thoughts on a FNAF movie, and how would You like it be done? Let me know in the comments below! As always, if you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [we’re at over 180+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog.

Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! I’ve also been writing way more reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch  – with each review [usually] coming the very next day after viewing! Are you interested yet? Check me out over there and click that “follow” button! I’m just bound to follow you back because I like reading other people’s thoughts on film, as well as writing reviews myself!

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THANKS FOR READING.

SAW: LEGACY [VIII] Plot Details Revealed?

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Imagine with me for a moment: a film series that has lasted seven films, with the seventh being called “The Final Chapter”, but somehow; another sequel was on the way. Impossible? Not quite. At least, not for the SAW franchise, because sometime next year [presumably around Halloween] we are getting another sequel/addition to this seemingly never ending cycle of films. The question on everyone’s mind though is if it is a sequel, a reboot, or a continuation; because with a title like SAW: LEGACY, it does not tell us much. It is no surprise that rumors and secrets circle this film because this is not the first time I have written about this sequel, just look at the SAW VIII tag on warrenisweird but today, I have a new exciting development to add to this tag: plot details..At least, that’s what they are being called since we have zero knowledge about this new film as far as trailers/screenshots/anything.

According to sources, SAW: Legacy is going to begin with bodies turning up around the city, each having met a uniquely and gruesome end. [No doubt as a result of their “tests”] But as the investigation proceeds, evidence points to one man: John Kramer. But as fans know, this is impossible.. The man known as Jigsaw has been dead for over a decade[see SAW III] Could it be that another apprentice has begun his/her version of the works of Jigsaw, or perhaps even someone within the investigation? Before people start jumping on the bandwagon of [spoiler] Hoffman surviving the sequence at the end of The Final Chapter, it’s also noted that Costas Mandylor [who played Hoffman] or Cary Elwes [who played Doctor Gordon] will not be returning to play their respective characters, who [spoiler] both ended up becoming apprentices of Jigsaw in previous installments. As for the original Jigsaw, it is rumored that Tobin Bell will be back in some way, shape, or form. [Don’t be too surprised if it is only through flashback sequences]

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I guess what I am trying to say is that I am feeling the same way as most people in the horror community: just what the hell is SAW: LEGACY going to be about, and what could the story arc follow? Personally, I want to know what Doctor Gordon was doing after the end of the “Last” SAW film; but if he is not set to star in this film – it raises even more questions: is this “new” Jigsaw a copycat? A new apprentice? Another cop? Or maybe someone new we have yet to know anything about. Let me know who You think it could be in the comments below, and if You are not sure who to guess; let me know if You are looking forward to another SAW film!


As always, if you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [we’re at over 170+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog.

Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! I’ve also been writing way more reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch  – with each review [usually] coming the very next day after viewing! Are you interested yet? Check me out over there and click that “follow” button! I’m just bound to follow you back because I like reading other people’s thoughts on film, as well as writing reviews myself!

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THANKS FOR READING.

NOW YOU CAN FEND OFF VAMPIRES WITH JAPAN’S NEW Doritos FLAVOR

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When you visit warrenisweird, what do you enjoy reading the most? Upcoming horror news? Maybe the occasional movie review? Well this post is going to be a little different than usual because today, while we are talking something horror/Halloween related – we are talking food..specifically, Doritos. From Japan. [wait, what?]

Yes. Leave it to Japan to – once again – give us food and snacks that we didn’t know we needed in our lives: in this case, it is a vampire defense system and packaged as a brand-new type of a chip that I used to eat all the time during my childhood. But this is not the friendly Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese flavors that came before; no, this new flavor  is all powerful garlic, and because Halloween, they are stained an charcoal black to give it that “scary factor.” Hopefully I am not getting you too excited, because unfortunately, there’s no word of this product being sold outside of Japan. But they are available to be ordered on napaJapan – though quanities might be limited! Or, if you want to track down someone in Japan to send you some, there’s actually an app that does just that; though use this method at your own risk! I guess you also want to see the chip bag in all its glory, don’t you? As expected, the bag has imagery of a vampire, a spooky castle and some bats.

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Naturally, like any other garlic product, after eating these, your breath should ward off any and all vampires who come your way.. and probably everyone else around you, though don’t worry: Refinery29 has a quick remedy for that.

Naturally, like all things obscure and weird, I would love to try these chips – I’m strongly considering ordering some from napaJapan in order to try and possibly review them on here! I know this post was fairly short and to the point, especially considering the length of some of the other posts I write, but I have been busy with work, [For those that do not know/are new to my blog] and college 2017 prep. I am applying to College this upcoming week, and have been working a lot to prepare for that. Between two jobs and that, I have not had much time to sit and write. [most of my “sit down and relax” time is spent sleeping or watching Netflix actually] For the ones who are waiting for Weirdo’ween 2016, I am not going to be writing a review a day [like last year] but instead only a few reviews over the span of October – with one coming up tonight! [STAY TUNED] But let’s back up, where were we?

Now I turn to You – the reader. Are You interested in Black Doritos? Why or why not? Maybe you’re a huge fan of Garlic and are curious about this “version” of a classic type of chip; or maybe – like myself – you like new things, and find yourself curious.. Let me know in a comment below, and if you enjoyed this list; go and follow me over on my Facebook page! [we’re at over 150+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. So go follow over there too!

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THANKS FOR READING.

Annoucement: something a little different — an update

If you’ve been following warrenisweird for awhile now, you probably have noticed that there’s one category of post that doesn’t come up as much as it used to: Journals. They used to be more frequent, and they used to be a ‘once and a while’ sort of thing, to keep you – the readers – up to date with what I have been up to outside of the blogging world. However, I hardly post these anymore; and they’re something that I feel doesn’t fit the general theme of my blog; even if it is about myself. So as an effort to use it more, and a way to steer away from that kind of post here, I plan on not posting any Journal posts on here anymore, though the ones I’ve already written; will remain..and the Journal posts will cease to exist. Or will they? What I mean by this is that, I’m not saying that I’ll never writing anything about myself and updates about myself again, I just mean that they won’t be featured on warrenisweird, and that’s where Medium comes in..

Medium works in a way that makes anyone feel like they’re an author of their own story, without the hassle of feeling like they need to build an audience in the blogging atmosphere [blogosphere?] It’s been called “a new place on the Internet where people share ideas and stories that are longer than 140 characters and not just for friends.” Which makes sense, since one of the co-founders of Twitter designed it. Although it’s a blogging platform designed for smaller stories that “make your day better and manifestos that change the world,” it has it’s way of helping you find the right audience for whatever you have to say. I think that’s what attracted me to it – I could say what I want, how I want, and whoever is interested; can read it. If not, they move on in their lives and it doesn’t affect them. Which, in turn, doesn’t affect me. It’s pretty great for that reason. Surprisingly, I’ve actually been on Medium for awhile now – check my profile here –  but I never ended up using it, since I’d tend to write elsewhere: whether Facebook or warrenisweird. Don’t think I’m going anywhere, because I’m definitely not; I’m just trying to say that warrenisweird is going to be strictly horror related posts now, and personal things – like what I’ve been up to outside of blogging – will be on Medium. With all that said and done , I just wanted to share this, I know it’s probably not the post you expected from me today, but here it is. I promise come the next post, it will be horror-related, but I just wanted to share this in case someone was wondering why there hasn’t been any Journals as of late. In fact, be sure to catch up on what I’ve been posting over on Medium by reading my most recent post, titled “A Twist Of Fate.” It’s essentially an update on one of the biggest things happening in my life right now, which has me both excited and nervous. [but also, something that’s been a long time coming]

Also, if find yourself to enjoy what I do here – whether it’s updates like this or movie reviews/news – please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes – only a few more and we’ll have reached over 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

Michael Dougherty’s “Krampus” film gets THREE teaser cards!

heeeeeeeeeere’s Krampus!

Before I talk about the Dougherty‘s new anthology horror film, I think it’s best if I explain just what [the] Krampus truly is. c’mon guys! it a Christmas related demon-thing: it’s pretty damn relevant, right? So let us talk about this “Anti-Claus”, and then we’ll get into talking about the movie. hold on to your seats, this is going to be a fun, and dangerous, one!

According to German-speaking Alpine folklore, [the] Krampus is a horned, anthropomorphic figure. The traditional story behind Him is that [the] Krampus will punish children during the Christmas season who have been “naughty”. This is such a contrast with Saint Nicholas, who [in opposition to Krampus] will reward the “good” children with gifts. Some regions in the Austrian diaspora actually ‘believe’ in similar “Christmas demons” to the point where [the] Krampus is one of many partners to Saint Nicholas. Where the origin of the this “Anti-Claus” is unclear; but some folklorists have suggested that it started back in Pre-Christian times. Sometimes, there’s even parades in which young males dress themselves as [the] Krampus, during something called the Krampuslauf [the GermanKrampus run’], occur yearly in some Alpine villages; in fact, [the] Krampus is often featured on holiday cards which are called Krampuskarten – one of which, I’ve included below:

that’s..pretty damn terrifying.

Let’s move back to Michael Dougherty‘s film: not much is known about the film [no plot, or anything] other than the release date – which is December 5th, 2015. The film is simply being called Krampus“. and I am fucking stoked. Let me explain why – first off, the name Dougherty should sound familiar, as he’s most known for one of my favorite Halloween films: Trick ‘r Treat. already, that makes Krampus one of my most highly anticipated horror films of 2015! [don’t make me eat my words, Dougherty!] Add to that the fact that it’s his second holiday anthology: [Trick ‘r Treat was bad-ass!] Oh man, I’m totally excited. To get us excited for the film, Dougherty and Legendary Pictures [who are producing the film] have sent us, the fans, some season’s greetings.. in the form of three Krampus teaser Christmas cards.  [just like the Krampuskarten cards that we talked about earlier!] Seriously, they’re fantastic looking: check out these Krampuskarten for the film!


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KRAMPUS_FACE_CARDMichael Dougherty has described his new film as a “twisted horror-comedy”, and that Krampus is [naturally] about our favorite holiday Beast who accompanies Saint Nicholas and makes it his business to punish the misbehaved children of the world..

How do you feel about Dougherty‘s new monster film? Is it going to be as fantastic as Trick ‘r Treat? Or is it going to be something more? Be sure to unleash your thoughts down in the comments! I’m for one, super excited for this film, I’m a big Krampus fan, and the fact that there will be a movie based around this Monster, I’m sold!

Be safe this Holiday season, and be sure to watch out for [the] Krampus!

THANKS FOR READING.

GWAR has a new vocalist – and SHE is in charge!

Although I tend to talk about movies on warrenisweird, this specific post is going to be slightly different than usual in the sense that I’m going to talk about something else: music. When it comes to music, I enjoy most hardcore punk bands [my favorite band will always be Brand New] and some [I’m fairly selective] metal bands. One metal band I enjoy in particular is GWAR. [above] They are known for putting on insanely awesome shows, being the all-singing, all-decapitating, blood-and-guts-drenched thrash metal horror group they are from Richmond, Virginia. [I dare you to look their live performances up on Youtube] The one “character” who was the ‘main event’ of the group was the founding member Dave Brockie: or as he was known to fans – ringleader Oderus Urungus. Out of  costume though, Dave was known as one of the nicest guys in metal, always making sure people were safe at their [always sold out] shows. Unfortunately, Brockie died earlier this year due to a heroin overdose, and GWAR fans had a dark ominous feeling over their heads for a long time – wondering what’s going to happen next for the band..

As it turns out, the band continued, making moves and putting things into motion [which Brockie would have wanted – the show must go on, as they say] and were left with a final, but obvious situation: finding a new front-person. As cliche as it sounds – how could they find someone as intense as Dave? He was extremely well liked, and it would be hard to find someone to replace him that would be accepted as a GWAR member. Well, it seems like after 30 years of playing offensive, shocking music; the band has made what some may see as their most shocking move yet – They found their ‘front person’, and she is in charge.

Introducing VULVATRON: GWAR‘s first lead woman. She’s nobody’s girlfriend, or groupie or background dancer; Vulvatron is in charge. She may be new to the band, but she’s already claiming to be a monster instead of a princess, which makes us realize [especially thanks to her outfit] that she can be as grotesque as her band-mates. Vulvatron is played by a woman named Kim Dylla, an accomplished clothing designer and musician in her own way, and her new status as high priestess of GWAR is going to make some noise. especially in the metal community.

If we could go back to Dave Brockie for a minute or two, he was also in the Ariescope show Holliston, playing Adam Green‘s imaginary friend. Oderus Urungus was also a friend of Green‘s offstage, and as a memorable tribute, Ariescope actually made a tribute video of Brockie [using clips from the show]. See the tribute video [as made by Ariescope] below:

as a metal fan, I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I miss you Oderus Urungus, you had a huge impact on many people – including myself. I don’t know where you are, or how you’re doing – but if you’ve made it back to your alien planet of Scumdogia, I hope you’re doing well slaying all the monsters to your heart’s content. [RIP]

and welcome Vulvatron, may you charge forward as new leader of this sick circus known to the world as GWAR. HAIL VULVATRON

THANKS FOR READING.