personal

here comes the bride

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[before I begin, I just want to congratulate Jason & Justine on their marriage today, seriously guys: I’m so freaking proud of you guys!]

If it wasn’t for today, I could say that I hadn’t been to enough weddings to say I ‘get’ the whole idea. [as a non-religious person] the whole idea of doing everything in a church ‘within the eyes of God’ is something I’m not overly used to. before anyone asks; I bring up the topic of marriage in this post because I witnessed a friend get married today —and it wasn’t until today I caught myself realizing that this will be what I will be going through next year — on October 31st, 2015


While Stephanie and I have talked about our ideas for our big day, we really have no idea where to begin, which I guess we should get started on. [we have a small list of friends and family we want to be present on the actual day..if that counts?] I never really realized that I am growing up.. I know I am in the literal sense, but before the wedding we witnessed today — I never let it ‘sink in’ that in a years time; that’ll be me up on that pedestal: waiting for my bride-to-be.

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I guess I’m just not used to the idea of knowing that I will be a married man sooner than later, it’s just something I don’t often think of — which when I think about it, maybe I should. The very idea of marriage used to make me nervous, especially since I used to be the one thinking that I never would get married someday. But with Stephanie by my side, I feel fucking invincible, she’s my everything and more. I’m confident that I found my one and only, and I couldn’t be happier. Bring on Halloween 2015, because that will be the defining moment of my adult life. I know this post is fairly short compared to most of the others, but I just really wanted this off my chest.

It’s probably the most ‘adult’ thing I’ve ever thought – at least for now..

THANKS FOR READING.

 

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JOURNAL #2: “you can’t take a picture of this: it’s already gone.”

because clocks and spirals mean ‘time travel’, right?

If you could go back in time to when you were 8 years old to have a conversation with yourself – what would you say? What could you say? Would you tell yourself what kind of job you’re doing now? Or maybe even talk about what inspires you as a person. I constantly find myself toying with the idea of talking to my former/younger self, just to see what kind of person I was. I feel like I would probably tell myself that “things will get better” or even “that girl you’re going to meet in 6 years? yeah, she isn’t worth getting upset over – remember, time heals everything.” But consider this, what if you could, right now, go back in time: would you do it? Where would you take ‘yourself’ to sit and talk: a coffee shop? or even a fancy restaurant to show how rich you’ve become over the years?

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I can only assume this would be my ride to 14 years ago [when I was 8]

I would also bring up the fact that I should let the bullies get me down, because I don’t deserve that kind of pain: especially the way it made me feel. [kids are mean, I can attest to that.] It would probably freak me out too, I mean – I freaked out watching SIGNS..y’know, that Mel Gibson movie with the aliens. anyway, moving on. I don’t know what it was that inspired me to think of this, but apparently I’ve been thinking about for a while now.. It really doesn’t help that I’ve been watching more and more science fiction films lately. I blame Stephanie for this because we [finally] watched Star Trek: Into Darkness and has been all Sci-Fi crazy lately..


Unfortunately, unless I missed a huge breakthrough in science [or I just wasn’t paying that much attention in Science Class in high school] It seems we’re not going back in time, judging by this article on Discovery‘s website. In the end though, it’s still fun to imagine what I would talk about or what I would think if I saw myself as a kid – seeing pictures is weird enough.

So what about you? If you could go back in time and see yourself as a kid, what would you talk about: the weather? how technology has changed? Or more importantly, if you could go back in time to see your younger self, would you do it? let me know in a comment or two. Be sure to join me on my next post which should be written and uploaded by tonight at the latest.

THANKS FOR READING.

JOURNAL #1: “it’s not the dead ones you should worry about..”

of course I used a picture from Six Feet Under here.

last week, I had a friend come to Ottawa from out of town. Every so often during his visit, he’d asked me how I ‘deal’ with being around DEATH all the time [see point 3 in my ’05 things about the author!’ for details of what I mean] I really hadn’t really thought about it until he brought the point up.. so without further ado, here is my first Journal entry about just that: “how I deal with being around DEATH


[NOTE: I can not go fully into detail for fear of disrespecting a family. plus, I’m under contract saying I won’t]

for starters, I’ve come to learn a lot about myself: I’ve learned that I’m stronger — mentally and physically — than I ever thought I was, and that life is every bit as precious as your elders tell you it is. seriously.

Secondly, I’ve come to realize [but only after the first few months] that I have developed an almost ‘switch’ in my brain that allows me to ‘switch off my emotions’ .. which is why I don’t find myself breaking down whenever I get a call to go to a car crash, suicide or younger adult deaths — it’s simply become: ‘part of the job’.


the final part that’s worth mentioning is the families. [say, if I had to go to the family home of the deceased, or something similar] though this is second nature now, when I first started; I was terrified to enter someone’s home, even if they knew my partner and I were coming: [especially because of the reason of being there is to ‘remove’ their [[now deceased]] family member] I’ve even had families give me trouble because of the fact that I’m 22 years old, saying things like “I’m too young to be doing this line of work” or that “they would rather someone else do the removal”. Other families are just plain rude, but since they just lost a loved one — I’ll let it slide.


In the end, I think of it as just a job that someone has to do — it just happens to be me. I’ve seen a good amount of DEATH over this past year: from car crashes to suicides, I have learned a lot about myself. and for that, I’m forever thankful. to end this Journal entry, I want to leave you with a thought: life is so damn precious that you shouldn’t just ‘give up’. regardless of what you’re going through, I promise it will get better. If you ever need someone to talk to: I’m sure family, friends, even I, am willing to talk to help you through whatever the situation may be. Never give up hope: life is worth the risk. So don’t be afraid to take it.

THANKS FOR READING.

05 things about the author!

Because of the fact that this is a new blog, [that, and this is only the second post] I figure that there’s no better way to get to know the man behind the keyboard then to know 05 facts about him. If you know me outside of the internet world, you probably know most, if not all, of these things; but for those that don’t – let’s get started learning 05 things about Warren!


I have an irrational fear of Clowns.

I mean it’s fucking unhealthy.. though, I may not fear Clowns for the reason you’re thinking. Let me elaborate a little more. While many people with this fear believe it stems from the fact that the clown[s] are wearing make-up to disguise themselves, I fear them because of a memory. To begin this [short] tale, it starts at the circus when I was about 8 years old. I didn’t know much about the circus other than the things you see on TV/Movies, and that it seems like good old fashioned fun. When I actually got to go to the circus, [for the first time] I saw a clown, though I didn’t really react to it. It wasn’t until the intermission that I found myself walking over to this clown [I guess I wanted to introduce myself? I don’t remember..] who decided to tell me that his reasoning for being a clown was ‘because he has to hide his face, because he did something regretful..and he wants to avoid getting caught.’ [who the fuck says that to an 8 year old?!] it was then that a fear in my mind I didn’t even know existed became very apparent. To this day – clowns still freak me out: I think it’s for a good reason though!

I really enjoy filmography/movies.

this one should be a no brainer, I write movie reviews on one of my favorite websites, Letterboxd [follow me over here], I constantly check into tvtag when I watch movies/shows, and I have over 235 DVDs. For those wondering, I stand by HORROR and DRAMA as my favorite genres. also, I absolutely love the [original] A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and EVIL DEAD films. Lastly, my favorite TV show is [easily] HBO’s SIX FEET UNDER: which brings me to my third point about myself: [see below]

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I work in a funeral home.

seriously though. Friday, July 18th, 2014. This was the 1 year mark since I started working there, and I haven’t been happier in a job. ever. I mentioned SIX FEET UNDER as my favorite show [above] and I firmly stand by it. I saw that show for the first time when I was about 16 years old and thought it was the most real television I’ve ever seen. It introduced me to a business that not many people feel comfortable talking about, it’s almost a taboo! [I have friend that ask about it and then immediately change the subject.] However, I saw it as one of the most interesting jobs I could think of. Now, I may not be an embalmer, or even a [Funeral] director; but I actually do body removals. [I don’t even know if that’s the right term for it..] In short, I go to the scene of Death and bring the deceased to the designated funeral home. [I’d explain this a little better, but I’m under contract saying I can’t really go into detail, sorry!] It’s a most extreme job, but it can also be fairly depressing: it’s definitely not for everyone.

I’m getting married next year!

It’s always a weird thought isn’t it? you start off young – thinking boys/girls are gross [with their damn cooties, man!], but at some point, something changes and you start noticing something different about them that you can’t seem to get over. I remember when I was younger, I was constantly teased [because my parents are both Deaf, but that’s a story for a different day] so I never believed in love, it was nothing but a fairy tale in my eyes. Fast forward to end of grade11, and I’ve had a few girlfriends here and there, and I met Stephanie. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I couldn’t ask for anyone else. We plan to marry on October 31, 2015 [that’s right: on HALLOWEEN, which happens to be both of our favorite Holiday!]

 

Spider-Man is my favorite super-hero!

Ever since I was little, I always felt like I identified with ‘super-humans’ more than my classmates. I felt ‘misplaced’ in a world where ‘popularity’ ruled over smarts, and if you were “different“, then you were fair game for being bullied. [like I was for having Deaf parents, as mentioned above]. The one super-human I identified with more than any was Spider-Man. He was fallible, he was the ‘geek’, and he had a small number of friends.. just like I did. The other thing is that he was raised by his grandparents – specifically Uncle Ben. I often feel like I was raised by my Grandfather so I can certainly relate to that as well. and as always, remember:

“With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility”


So that’s 05 things you may or may not have known about me: If you have any other types of questions about me, feel free to send me a comment or two! Also, be sure to join me on my next post – whatever it may be about.

THANKS FOR READING.