scary

WARRENISWEIRD’s Top 05 SCARIEST “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” Episodes

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If you follow warrenisweird on Facebook, [which if you don’t, you definitely should] you probably saw this post referencing a TV show from my [very scarred] childhood: Are You Afraid Of The Dark? Along with shows like Tales From The Cryptkeeper and Goosebumps, this was a show that I used to watch almost religiously, even though it would give me indefinite nightmares after every episode. By sharing that one video clip on Facebook, I started to remember just how terrifying Are You Afraid Of The Dark? really was, especially for something that was marketed towards kids who were just getting into horror such as myself. I decided [against my better judgement] to delve back into the show and dig up past nightmares and make a list of my top 05 episodes [in no particular order] that I would argue are the scariest from my childhood, and to some degree, still are! As you can expect, spoilers will be involved with every submission below, so tread lightly if you are worried about finding out the “twist!”


Submitted For The Approval Of The Midnight Society, I call this story: WARRENISWEIRD’s TOP 05 SCARIEST “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” EPISODES


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“The Tale Of The Captured Souls” [Season 01]

Starting off with the “not so scary,” we have an episode from early in the series that follows Danielle and her family’s lakeside vacation that [almost] goes dead wrong! When Danielle and her family arrive for their holidays, they meet a strange man by the name of Peter: the abnormal [and young] inn keeper. The inn itself is also strange, covered with mirrors that shock whoever touches them because of, as Peter says, “old wiring.” [Because everyone knows that mirrors are usually wired, right?] During their stay, Danielle and her family begin to feel drained, and notice more than a couple new grey hairs growing on their heads. Eventually, we learn that the [wired] mirrors from before are actually part of a more elaborate plan to drain the inn’s guests of their souls, which will effectively keep Peter forever young. What doesn’t help is when Danielle stumbles upon Peter’s “graveyard” – a place where he keeps a collection of all the souls he’s stolen over the years. After Danielle discovers that Peter is behind everything after discovering his “soul-sucking lab.” Peter offers a truce: he will give Danielle the chance to join him in his quest for eternal youth. As expected, she instead destroys his bizarre science project; which ends with him becoming an old and ancient man, saving her parents from having their souls taken.


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“The Tale Of The Super Specs” [Season 01]

If you were a big enough fan of the series, you probably remember Sardo’s Magic Shop. It was a plot point of many of the “Tales” that revolved a “magic/mystical item.” While a lot of the items were unique – and sometimes terrifying – none of Sardo’s “tools” were as traumatizing as his “Super Specs.” That’s where this episode comes in. While wearing the Super Specs, Mary Beth is given the ability to see things that aren’t really there. These “things” can range from a tea kettle whistling on the stove to figures cloaked in black. Soon enough, she learns that these specs have been cursed with a “second sight,” which opens a window into an alternate dimension. After explaining the situation to Sardo, he agrees to help Mary Beth clear her home of these dark visions, but his lack of experience in magic [irony?] ends up causing a “cosmic imbalance” which grants the [dark] creatures full access to our world. What makes this episode so scary is that it ends with our hero’s demise, which if I’m honest, is a lot to take in for a kid.


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“The Tale Of The Ghastly Grinner” [Season 04]

If you have been a follower of warrenisweird for a while now – or you know me in real life – you are probably aware that I have an irrational fear of clowns. This particular Tale did not help that cause.. In the picture above, you are looking into the eyes of this entry’s villain, The Ghastly Grinner: an evil comic book character bent on making life for a young boy [Ethan] a living hell. Like most days in the early 1990s, it all started when our “hero” went to the opening of a new comic book store in town. [back when the days were easier] The store’s owners offered him a “one-of-a-kind” comic which featured the monstrosity above, who causes people to laugh uncontrollably and spit up blue goo.. [Gross! Why Nickelodeon?!] Before putting his new [and rare] collector’s item with the rest of his comic book memorabilia, Ethan accidentally spills a glass of water on it. Instead of cleaning the mess up like a normal human would, he decides to microwave the comic book.. because, of course he does. Bad news for Ethan though, because the radiation [somehow] brings the comic book villain to life! After The Ghastly Grinner starts freaking people out all over town – including a young Warren who cannot look away from the TV – Ethan decides [responsibly] to take matters into his own hands by creating a new comic book; in order to defeat The Grinner. Somehow though, he manages to get trapped inside the comic, thus bringing him face to face with the gut-busting villain.. Although this episode is more silly than anything, The Grinner himself scarred me like any – and every – clown before him. That reason alone earns it a spot on this list.


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“The Tale Of The Dead Man’s Float” [Season 05]

Oh yes, that episode. The one from what I shared on Facebook. [see beginning of post] This Tale centers around Zeke, a geeky teenager who yearns to get close to a girl by the name of Clorice, [wait! Is that a chlorine pun?!] the super-cute captain of the swim team. In exchange for helping with her chemistry homework, she decides to give him swimming lessons. [definitely a fair trade as far as I am concerned!] Naturally, Zeke is eager to impress her, he takes her to their school’s abandoned swimming pool [which, for plot reasons, is mysteriously still filled with water] to begin his “lessons.” But this specific pool has been hidden for a good reason: It was built on top of an old graveyard, and now the spirits are angrier than ever! That’s when we meet the zombie/skeleton hybrid above. Don’t worry though, because in the end, Zeke uses his super-chemistry skills/nerdiness to defeat the evil skel-zombie, he gets the girl, and even learns how to doggie paddle!


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“The Tale Of Laughing In The Dark” [Season 1]

ANOTHER CLOWN! And worst of all, this is the episode I remember the most! [it’s also only the second in the show’s history] This final Tale takes us back the Great Depression, when a scheming Zeebo The Clown decides to steal some cash from the carnival’s payroll. While on the run, he hides in the fun-house, which proved to be a mistake as he then accidentally burns it [and himself] to the ground with his cigar ash. Years later, the carnival rebuilds the fun-house, placing a dummy of Zeebo inside as a memorial to the clown who died inside [reminder, the guy robbed them! ..I don’t get that logic either] Flash forward to the 1990s,when a little punk of a kid named Josh decides to swipe the Zeebo dummy’s nose as a way to prove he isn’t afraid of his town’s local legend: the fun-house is haunted. But he should be. Because soon he is visited by the ghost of Zeebo, who begins terrorizing Josh at home, at school, and even making threatening phone calls. On a happier[?] note, The clown got his nose back at the end of the episode. However, a clown who laughs in the dark is no friend of mine!


Of course there are so many other episodes I could have covered in this list – 91 episodes total – that I probably forgot some of the more important ones! Which episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark? scared You the most? If you liked this post, let me know in the comments below! [In the future, I may just do a Goosebumps version of this list!] As always, if you find yourself to enjoy what I do on here, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [we’re at over 180+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog.

Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! I’ve also been writing way more reviews on my Letterboxd account, this is because I’m trying to review every single movie I watch  – with each review [usually] coming the very next day after viewing! Are you interested yet? Check me out over there and click that “follow” button! I’m just bound to follow you back because I like reading other people’s thoughts on film, as well as writing reviews myself!

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THANKS FOR READING.

[ART] David Szilagyi’s “Nightmare Fuel Pokemon”

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Between working both jobs, and applying for an English class – which will upgrade my English mark, and thus, allow me to reapply for college in 2017 – you could say this week has been pretty hectic. However, during my time applying for this English course, I thought back to my High School days [I’m going to redo grade 12 English in July for 3 weeks – I did pass it before, but with a terrible mark due to not caring for school at the time – hence, the “upgrade”] and the things I enjoyed doing/watching; at least to get into the mindset of being in school again. One such thing that crossed my mind was none other than Pokemon. You know exactly what I’m talking about: they’re generally cute little monsters that 10 year olds go out and capture – and do battle with their friends! I used to love Pokemon. I mean, I still enjoy it; just not as much. It’s still a fairly popular topic though, with both a TV show [still!] and games coming out almost yearly. In my case, I’ve always enjoyed the idea of fan-created Pokemon [known across the internet as “Fakemon”] and/or the fan-art in general. A lot of people try to them as “life-like” as possible, and for some Pokemon – as I’m sure you can imagine – is a horrific idea! [unless, like me, you like creepy and horror-themed monsters] And then there’s David Szilagyi – an artist online, who like us, enjoys Pokemon. He even enjoys drawing Pokemon.. in the most fucked up way imaginable. [be sure to check out his Patreon page]


You see, concept artist and freelance illustrator David Szilagyi is on a mission – to ruin your cherished childhood memories, one twisted picture at a time. Using his love for Pokemon and the work of Stephen Gammell – who you might remember from Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark – Szilagyi‘s most recent project has him trying to re-draw the entire Pokedex.. in the most nightmarish way possible! [For those who keep up with the games, we’re currently standing at over 730 Pokemon Monsters..that’s a lot of drawings]
Chances are, you’ve even seen his art already online, seeing as he’s pretty popular. If you like his art, I strongly suggest supporting him at his Patreon page above – he releases two new pictures each week, and even a comic in the same horrific style. [but that’s only for supporters] Now onto the main event, the actual drawings. Remember, they aren’t the cute and cuddly monsters you once knew. They’ve..changed. For ease of posting, and saving time, I have included the original starters [and their evolutions] that Szilagyi has created in his “special style.” For all of the art he’s drawn, check out his ArtStation page; which includes more than just Pokemon.

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Not exactly as you remember them? According to David Szilagyi, that’s the point – to be as terrifying as possible! Today’s question is a simple one; so long as you are/were a fan of Pokemon. What “type” is your favorite? Is it Squirtle‘s WATER type, or are you more of a Charizard FIRE type? Or maybe you’re a fan of another type; like STEEL or PSYCHIC? Let me know in the comments below! I’ve personally always been both FIRE and DARK, but I guess that comes to be expected of me – Charizard, Umbreon and Duskull are among my favorite Pokemon of all time. In regards to the me doing an “upgraded” English course, [that I briefly mentioned above] it will be taking up a good amount of my time, with work happening afterwards so I may not be as frequent on here in the month of July [however, I am still active on Facebook – sharing posts, etc – when I’m not able to write something on here: the actual blog] Also, Stephanie and I are in Niagara Falls next weekend, since it’s going to be our one year wedding anniversary – crazy! I KNOW! But, I’ll be writing another post before we leave [Saturday July 2nd is our departure date – we’re back on the 5th..with English starting on the 6th…jeez, what a month July will be, and it’s not even here yet!] Anyway, I’m rambling, and that wasn’t the intention, so I’ll just leave you with a fan art rendition of one of my favorites, because if I’m being honest – I just really want an Umbreon.

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THANKS FOR READING.

the SCARIEST “whistle” you’ve ever heard: the Aztec Death whistle

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It’s one thing not to like a certain type of instrument, like a Tuba or even an Oboe. But what about something different? Something ancient, from hundreds [if not, thousands] of years old.. something like a death whistle! Described as the “scream of a thousand corpses”, this “death whistle” sounds like the cry of the undead, or at the very least, the torment of a human being burned alive! Oddly enough, these skull shaped whistles were actually discovered over 20 years ago by Archaeologists, but, were figured to be toys for the Aztec children. Even if they were looked on to be just “toys”, most of the studies behind them focused on how they looked, rather than what they could possibly sound like. However, with the fearsome sound of the whistle discovered, it’s gaining notice of scientists, other archeologists, and historians everywhere!

and sometimes, the dead are buried with one of these “whistles”..

Roberto Velazquez, a man who has spent several years trying to recreate the sounds of his ancestors, has claimed that the Aztecs played the ‘Whistles Of Death’ just before they were sacrificed to the Gods. This way, the sound of the death whistle would help the deceased, as they journey into the Underworld. Other Aztec tribes would use the whistle and it’s terrifying sounds as psychological warfare, as a way to scare their enemies at the start of battle.. [and based on the sound of the whistle – I can see why this was effective!]

Before this discovery, archeologists figured the existence of other types of noisemakers that were used by the Aztecs: which were made of clay, turkey feathers, sugar cane, frog skins and other materials – with each one serving a different, yet specific, purpose. Conch shells, for instance, were used at the beginning of ceremonies, while hunters used animal-shaped instruments to produce sounds that lured deer, and other wild animals. Medical scientists also believe that the Aztecs may have used sounds as a way to cure illnesses. But in the end, it is the Death Whistle that generates the strongest reactions, mainly due to the creepy sound it makes when blown into!

Not surprisingly though, getting an authentic Death Whistle is pretty damn unlikely – but if you wanted, you can always hear what one sounds like thanks to YouTube musician Xavier Quijas Yxayotl. He actually uploaded a video of himself blowing into the Death Whistle, even warning people that it isn’t for the faint of heart! Before exampling it, he says:

We call this the ‘death whistle’ that the Aztecs used for special ceremonies – for Day of the Dead celebrations, and also they use it when they have a war, when they fight with other tribes. They would play over a hundred instruments, a hundred death whistles, marching to cause a big psychological effect to the enemy..”

If I still have you reading up to this point, and you’re genuinely curious – I’ve actually included the video of Yxayotl blowing into the Death Whistle below: as previously stated, the sound it makes isn’t for everyone so watch at your own risk! It’s probably the most terrifying sound, especially since it was used to effect enemies on a psychological level!

So there you have it, the most terrifying instrument I’ve ever seen, It’s no Tuba or Oboe, but it’s something more terrifying: the Aztec Death Whistle.

THANKS FOR READING