vampires

NOW YOU CAN FEND OFF VAMPIRES WITH JAPAN’S NEW Doritos FLAVOR

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When you visit warrenisweird, what do you enjoy reading the most? Upcoming horror news? Maybe the occasional movie review? Well this post is going to be a little different than usual because today, while we are talking something horror/Halloween related – we are talking food..specifically, Doritos. From Japan. [wait, what?]

Yes. Leave it to Japan to – once again – give us food and snacks that we didn’t know we needed in our lives: in this case, it is a vampire defense system and packaged as a brand-new type of a chip that I used to eat all the time during my childhood. But this is not the friendly Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese flavors that came before; no, this new flavor  is all powerful garlic, and because Halloween, they are stained an charcoal black to give it that “scary factor.” Hopefully I am not getting you too excited, because unfortunately, there’s no word of this product being sold outside of Japan. But they are available to be ordered on napaJapan – though quanities might be limited! Or, if you want to track down someone in Japan to send you some, there’s actually an app that does just that; though use this method at your own risk! I guess you also want to see the chip bag in all its glory, don’t you? As expected, the bag has imagery of a vampire, a spooky castle and some bats.

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Naturally, like any other garlic product, after eating these, your breath should ward off any and all vampires who come your way.. and probably everyone else around you, though don’t worry: Refinery29 has a quick remedy for that.

Naturally, like all things obscure and weird, I would love to try these chips – I’m strongly considering ordering some from napaJapan in order to try and possibly review them on here! I know this post was fairly short and to the point, especially considering the length of some of the other posts I write, but I have been busy with work, [For those that do not know/are new to my blog] and college 2017 prep. I am applying to College this upcoming week, and have been working a lot to prepare for that. Between two jobs and that, I have not had much time to sit and write. [most of my “sit down and relax” time is spent sleeping or watching Netflix actually] For the ones who are waiting for Weirdo’ween 2016, I am not going to be writing a review a day [like last year] but instead only a few reviews over the span of October – with one coming up tonight! [STAY TUNED] But let’s back up, where were we?

Now I turn to You – the reader. Are You interested in Black Doritos? Why or why not? Maybe you’re a huge fan of Garlic and are curious about this “version” of a classic type of chip; or maybe – like myself – you like new things, and find yourself curious.. Let me know in a comment below, and if you enjoyed this list; go and follow me over on my Facebook page! [we’re at over 150+ likes – let’s get to 200!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been “gone live” online; and I also share links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. So go follow over there too!

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THANKS FOR READING.

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WEIRDO’WEEN #10: Let The Right One In [2008]

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Contrary to popular belief, not every vampires you see in the movies are over 1000 years old. Sometimes, they’re younger, say about 12 or 13.. except they’ve been 12 [or 13] for a long time! Wait a minute..this sounds familiar; too familiar in fact. [find out why this sounded so familiar here!] Let’s try this again..

Today, we’re going to talk about Vampires, and no, not those ones that involve shining in the sunlight, or living in the middle of the woods with their entire [adopted] families. I’m talking ones that need to drink blood to survive, and drift from place to place, before being discovered. But this can be tricky, because we are also talking about younger vampires in a foreign country. [this is starting to sound familiar too] Today’s movie came out in 2008 and already got itself a remake – which was surprisingly half-decent. Surely, if you’re a fan of the genre, you’ve already caught on to what movie were talking about today..or you flat out cheated, and read this post’s title! Either way, let’s not just watch just any vampire film that comes into our homes, let’s be sure we actually Let The Right One In. Also, this is weirdo’ween review #10 today, so that’s a thing worth celebrating too! [only 21 to go!]

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Based on the book of the same name, Let The Right One In is what I’d call a unique take on the typical vampire film. It’s technically a horror film, but it’s hard to class it as only that; it includes romantic elements, but also horror, kisses and love, but also blood and death. It has some brutal death scenes, but we never linger on it – it’s like the movie is trying to explain that it’s a necessity, but not the only thing we’re meant to be concerned with. It’s as if the vampire, is more human than the rest of us; that she just wants to be loved, and cared for. It could even be classified as a human movie, starring a vampire! But there is one thing we have to address..

In the film, Håkan [Eli‘s guardian/old lover]  butchers boys not much older than Oskar as a blood source for Eli. In this story, the storytelling is the most important theme to the point where we’re mostly meant to assume things, while some things are hinted and suggested at. There’s some questions that come up that are never answered. Why does Håkan pick these younger victims? Are they are Eli‘s preference? Then what does that say about Eli‘s sudden interest in Oskar? What is Eli‘s true nature? She tells us early on that she’s been twelve “for a very long time”, but we briefly glimpse her true physical age, which shows us that she is in fact, middle age; roughly the same age as Håkan. What about her gift to Oskar in the films last moments? Eli decides to go through with the brutal slaughter of his child tormentors. Entranced in her glamour, this of course, makes Oskar happy, but is this truly a good thing? They go off happily into the sunset, Oskar presumably destined to the soul destroyed shell of a person that Håkan had become, butchering humans to provide Eli with food for the rest of his life. People often talk about how the “happy ending” is sweet, and almost cute but think about it: it’s almost chilling! Essentially, Oskar has happily swapped the misery of childhood bullying for a fate that will truly be hell on earth and it feels nearly depressing as you know as he happily smiles in the films last shot that he doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. Remember, this boy is 12. He’s doing it because he has fallen in love with Eli, but he doesn’t know what her plans are for him. Did/Does she even really care?

Ultimately, Let The Right One In is a very quiet and patient film. It’s main points involve focusing on the progression of friendship between Oskar and Eli first. Unlike what you’d think when you think “vampire”, this is a beautiful and tender story – despite the overthought out process above. Despite its dark undertones, the film never feels sinister. Even during it’s highly enjoyable climax, it retains its heartfelt love.

Both Oskar and Eli are wonderfully drawn characters. Both young actors are emphatically true to their characters, making them all the more sympathetic. Through out the film, Director Thomas Alfredson shoots them in muted tones, as in – from their point of view, instead that of an adult. Reminding us, these are still kids [just in adult situations] He uses very little music, allowing the crunching of snow, the grumbling of their stomachs, the ambient sounds of the world around us instead to frame the action on screen. It’s something that hasn’t been done in this way before, and for that – I love it. The movies were made to tell stories like these. Unfortunately, I have not read the book the film is adapted from, but it certainly would expand on much of what is only hinted at here. But if you’re only going to see the movie, you don’t need any expansion. This is such a wonderful film as it stands today, in its boldness, its darkness, and its touching beauty.

If you like vampires, but you’re also a sucker for love stories, then I implore that you please watch the masterpiece that is Let The Right One In. It’s such an important piece of cinema: it does have subtitles – being a foreign film, but do not let that turn you away. If you manage to get a chance to see it..take it. It’ll trap you in a world where you feel the connection between two seemingly innocent children. If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I talk about weirdo’ween #11! STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

WEIRDO’WEEN #05: Children Of The Night [2014]

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If you’ve been following warrenisweird for a while now, you’d know that I receive special screener copies of movies in the mail before their widespread release date. They’re usually foreign films that I’ll get an email about first but a couple days ago, I received one that I hadn’t heard of. [all the way from Argentina!] It had a evil looking kids on the cover, and had the title Children Of The Night yet everywhere I looked online, it was under as the title Limbo. Either way, with a name like Children Of The Night, I took it to obviously mean that vampires would be somehow involved – and were they ever! If you follow me on Twitter, I also used “#livetweet” last night as I sent tweets as I was watching the film – as a way to give my thoughts as the movie went along [if you want this to become a “thing”, let me know!] and by the movie’s end; I quite enjoyed it. So let’s talk about these Children, [Of The Night] assuming they really are kids..

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The story follows a secluded colony of child-like vampires who are being hunted by vengeful villagers. We meet Alice, a journalist, who decides to visit a secluded Orphanage she’s heard about where the children suffer from an unknown skin disease. According to Erda, a religious ex-nurse whose destiny in life is to find these ‘lost souls’ and raise them in her Orphanage, – which is called Limbo – this disease makes the children sensitive to the sun’s light, making them almost nocturnal; the kids only come out at night, and for some reason – they act fairly mature for their age. Oh, and you gotta give them points, cause this disease that the “kids” have is called “Translyvirus.” [if that doesn’t scream the word ‘vampire’, I don’t know what does..] 

Eventually, Alice learns [like us, the viewer, already knows] that they are in fact not children, but vampires aging anywhere from 4 to 120 years old, who have been bitten at an early age and forever remain in that physical state. [because, as we’re told, “young blood tastes better”] Through religious teachings, nocturnal rituals and the occasional visit to local towns for fresh human blood, Erda keeps them safe – at least, until a group of men from a nearby village plot to destroy the refuge. Now the children, headed by none other than the 90-year-old grandson of Count Dracula, must defend their way of life, or accept their defeat; in death!

Quite literally, because not even half an hour into the film and already one of these “vampire kids” is killed.

What’s great about Children Of The Night is that even if these “kids” are really “adults in kids bodies”, we see them act like kids, at least during the darkest parts of the evening. We see some kids sitting under a tree reading [although that kid admits to being over 80!] and another fixing a bicycle wheel! It’s really appealing to see that they’re still in some shape.. human.There’s also a subplot about how Alice, the journalist who’s been interviewing these vampires, [who seem very open to talking about it for some reason] knew Seigfried, one of the vampires when she was a kid, but didn’t recognize him until he explained that he had been protecting her for a very long time. He’s also a fairly young vampire; being only 33 [just like Alice!] and that he’s been in love with her ever since they were kids. It’s weird, and almost uncomfortable, to watch a child actor tell a grown woman that she has “great breasts”.. but it’s okay, because the character is actually 33…right? Either way, you’re here for the vampires; like the blood and the biting, and stuff..

[left to right: Seigfried and Alice. remember, they’re technically lovers..]

It’s only just before when the group of men come to attack, that things really take off in a bloody, messy way. About three-quarters into the movie, Erda allows the vampires to go to the nearby village to feed before they start hunting the men who plan on destroying the Orphanage. Sounds legit, until you realize that this movie isn’t the standard vampire flick!

Before they ‘head out’, [so to speak] the vampires all gather in the basement of Limbo..for a drink? The scene is actually really good, showing kids aerating the blood [like wine] and talking about it’s different scents. One vampire even offers another some ‘wine’ from an 80 year old nun, which he turns down because it’s too bitter. Then, the final showdown with the group of men happens.

Being as it’s a full out fight between just under 10 men versus [around] 20 vampires, it goes just as you’d expect it to..except with techno music, and kids. It’s bloody, it’s gory, and it’s actually really well executed. If vampire children wasn’t enough to keep you satisfied, there’s a scene where the two 80 year old vampire kids actually pull the intestines out of one of the men, and play jump rope with them.. it’s oddly satisfying. I tried to find a clip of it, because it’s arguably my new favorite thing, but to no avail.

y’know, for the Grandson of Dracula, he definitely has the look working for him..

I won’t say that Children Of The Night is a perfect film; it’s subplot with Seigfried and Alice was a little strange for my liking, [and in case you’re wondering; he does change her into a vampire by the end of the film. Thus, making them “together forever”..] and on my screener copy; the subtitles were a bit off with some words not fully in English. [almost like a half English, half Spanish hybrid] However, by the end of the credits, I can honestly say that I found so much more positive than negative within the film. There was many moments where I found myself smiling because the film found ways to make the vampires different and likable. I had a huge grin on my face during some of the more obscure scenes too; mainly the scene with the intestines being used as jump rope and another where one kid gets her finger half bitten off, only to be met with hearty laughter from Erda, who states: “it’ll be better by morning!

Hopefully, this review helps people understand that Children Of The Night was a surreal experience that I wholeheartedly enjoyed. [to say in the least] It had humor, as well as the vampire scare factor; which made the film an entertaining watch. Be sure to catch the movie when it’s released on Blu-ray and DVD on October 26th, 2015! what are your thoughts on a movie about vampire children? Nothing new? Or something that should be explored more? Let me know in a comment or two! Also, if you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you want to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I post weirdo’ween #06STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

film study: why “LET THE RIGHT ONE IN” is vampires done RIGHT

Contrary to popular belief, not all vampires are over 1000 years old. Sometimes, they’re younger, say about 12.. except they’ve been 12 for a long time! Let The Right One In, or Låt Den Rätte Komma In, is one such story involving one of those 12 year old vampires. The story is about Oskar, a bullied 12 year old, who tends to dream of revenge. [I mean, the first thing you see in the movie is Oskar wearing a mask holding a knife!] Then enters Eli, a strange young girl [who’s roughly Oskar‘s age] and newcomer to the town who moves in with her “Father”, Håkan. [we’ll get to that later on] Oddly enough though, Eli can’t stand the sun or even food, and if she wants to come into a room, she needs to be “invited”. Quite literally in fact, she has to be told that she’s “allowed” to enter the room. Through their friendship, Eli gives Oskar the strength – and the determination – to hit the bullies back, but when he realizes that Eli needs to drink other people’s blood to survive; he’s faced with an almost impossible choice: Just how much can love forgive? Another important thing to note is that Oskar actually collects clippings from newspapers [and magazines] detailing gruesome murders with pictures of various hunting knives. He also hides a fairly large hunting knife under his mattress. [which his Mother is obviously unaware of]

as I said above, Oskar‘s classmates tend to regularly bully him, and he spends his evenings imagining revenge. On the night he meets Eli, who appears to be a pale girl of his age, Oskar learns that Eli has recently moved into the apartment next door to him with Håkan: presumably, her Father. It starts off relatively tame, though Eli initially warns Oskar that they can’t be friends! [talk about harsh! but there’s a reason] But over time, they begin to form a fairly close relationship with one another, with Oskar letting Eli borrow his Rubik’s Cube and the two even learning and exchanging Morse code messages through their adjoining wall. eventually, when Håkan learns of this: he ends up requesting Eli stops seeing Oskar. This is because [SPOILER ALERT!] Håkan is not Eli‘s father: he’s actually the grown up version of a young boy who fell in love with Eli in the past, and because Eli can’t grow up, [with being a vampire and all..] She is technically the girl the young Håkan fell in love with. [if that makes sense] Therefore, he has taken upon himself to take care of Eli [through gathering blood, moving from place to place with her, etc] because he loves her. Thus his reason for wanting Eli to stop seeing Oskar is implied to be pure jealousy!

and if you don’t invite her in: she starts to look like this..

It’s further proven that Håkan is willing to do anything for Eli when he actually stops to kill a [random] passerby on a busy footpath near a main road to harvest fresh blood, but he fails to return with anything  since he is interrupted by an oncoming dog walker. Naturally, a hungry Eli subsequently kills a local man who is making his drunken way home from the bar. Thankfully, Håkan manages to hide the body in a small ice-hole in the local lake, when he plans to make another well-prepared [but pretty badly] executed kill. In this sequence to get blood for Eli, Håkan tries to get the ‘food’ by trapping a teenage boy in a change room. As it turns out though, the boy’s friends are waiting for him, and when he takes forever to get changed, they decide to try to go into the change room to see what’s taking so fucking long! As a final escape tactic, Håkan decides to pour a ton of concentrated hydrochloric acid onto his own face so he can disfigure it to prevent any authorities from figuring out his identity and therefore, track down Eli. He even offers his neck to Eli to feed off of when he comes to accept that she is falling for Oskar, and that he has no place in her heart anymore.. that, and he’s pretty gross looking now after his ‘accident’. Talk about dedication to one person!! Check out Håkan‘s “post-hydrochloric acid” face below!

ugh. hope it was worth it, pal!

Let The Right One In is easily one of the best vampire movies I’ve ever seen: it has heart, it has gore, it has a brilliantly crafted story-line. It’s not so much a horror, when it can even technically fall under a romance story in a way or two! [SPOILER ALERT] the fact that Oskar becomes the “new” Håkan to Eli by the end of the film shows his dedication to the first person who ever made him feel special: I mean, sure, Eli will live on as Oskar grows old – but he seems to accept that, and for the first time in what seems like a long time; Eli doesn’t seem to want to use someone.. she actually seems to care for Oskar. By the end of the movie, Oskar and Eli are on a train, moving away to some new getaway – and I love that. It shows us just how special their connection is: innocent. They go through so much together through-out the film, and the ending is the ultimate pay off.. There’s also a somewhat sub-plot involving Oskar‘s Mother and Father, and the fact that they’re separated but, it’s nothing super important.. But the next time you meet someone new, and they live in a boarded up apartment, and you realize they only really come out in the dark: be careful, It could very well be Eli and Oskar living next door! If you want to get technical, it’s never really said where they end up?

THANKS FOR READING.

[fun fact: in the very last scene, Oskar is seen traveling on a train with Eli, who is in a box beside him: safe from the sunlight. From inside this box, Eli taps the word “kiss” to Oskar in Morse code. When Oskar is seen tapping back, he taps the word”puss“: which translates roughly to “small kiss” in Swedish, the movie’s language]